Every so often, we’ll get a call at our office from a church looking for childcare workers for a special service or conference.  Our leaders and volunteers take turns filling these requests and, instead of them getting paid, we ask the church to make one donation directly to Starlite.  The extra funds help us take care of all of those surprising costs that come up long after we’ve made that semester’s budget.

We sent a team out to a church last night and at the last minute realized that we were going to be one person short.  Several of our girls were out of town, some were still sick and then another group were hosting a high school girl’s sleepover at our office.  So, not wanting to break our promise that we’d have x-number of girls at the church that night, I headed over to help out.

Listen, we gotta have a way to buy all that processed nacho cheese.  And it isn’t as cheap as you think it is, interlings.

We had a whole lot of kiddies there so we decided to split them up.  I asked if there were any ones that would like to go to the tables to color with me.  They went racing over, but one little boy (who was five and there with his twin sister) came right up to me and motioned for me to lean down. 

“Miss Amy Beth?  I want to color.  God has given me one true talent and gift in life and it is coloring so I am ready!”

I promise he said it just like that — the whole “one true talent” and everything.  Cassidy (one of our volunteers) and I laughed until we were almost crying.  The little boy didn’t see anything funny about his statement and scampered off to color.

I headed over to the table, found a regular-sized chair and began to color.  Three little girls across from me kept saying “I like your earrings” and “I really like your shirt, Miss Amy Beth.”  I hadn’t had time to change from being in the office so I was a bit overdressed for coloring and animal crackers.  The last little girl said “I like her skirt!” and I looked down to see what skirt I was wearing.  Needless to say, it had been a long day.

To my surprise, I found a boy who must have been about nine laying underneath my chair gazing up at me.  Or, really, up my skirt. 

“WHAT are you doing?” 

“Umm… nothing.  But I like your skirt, too.”

And with that, he scampered off to play wrestling action figures with his friends.

The things we do for processed nacho cheese.  The things we do, indeed.

That’s not a misspelling in the title — don’t be calling our girl MEGan; try saying it like this:

“Maaaaaaaaaaay-gan.”

Yep, I do believe that’s how we say it down here.  Now that you’ve got that down, lets get goin’ and get to know this fair-haired beauty.

Hello Miss Magen!

Well, hello!

Remember how you were the first person I ever showed the bloggy to back when I started it?

Yes, yes I do.  I definitely got my pink fix for that week.

And to think that you’re still the only person who reads it.  How sweet.

Well, I think it is the least I can do.

Let us get down to business.  Please state your “job” title in Starlite in it’s entirety.

I’m the director of one of our Sparkle programs.  I have the best middle school girls and the best volunteers… end of story.  Maybe I’m a wee bit biased…

So, this translates to you corralling middle school girls each Thursday afternoon, no?

Si, senorita.  We have this thing we do called “pineapple” that makes my job a bit easier.  When I say this magical word, I automatically get a silent room full of girls making pineapples above their lovely little heads.  In theory, this works.

Okay, I’m going to put you on the spot.  What’s the funniest Starlite experience you’ve had so far?

I’m going to go with watching an unnamed (yet photographed) Starlite Dictator / Executive Director go crowd surfing at a certain massive sleepover a few years ago.  From my vantage point in the sound booth… well, that was just the funniest thing I had ever seen.

I have no idea what you could be referring to and even if I did, I’m sure the pictures have been destroyed.  Moving on.  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Well, I would like to be working for a certain fantastic ministry (possibly for girls…) as a counselor.

But… you’re an English major.

Oh, aren’t we observant!  Yes, this is true… but I will be pursuing a Master’s degree in mental-health counseling after I finish my undergrad.  Yay.

Awesome.  I’m proud of you.  Okay, if you had a free day where you had no responsibilities and could do whatever you wanted, what would you do?

Take every single girl from all of our programs on an all-expense paid trip to… Dollywood!  Where we would, of course, meet Dolly herself and be stunned at the sheer size of her… hair.  Which would, of course, make a certain Starlite Executive Director quite jealous.

Dolly ain’t got nothin’ on my hair and don’t you forget that.  On a separate note, if I let you have control of the bloggy one day and post anything you wanted, what would you choose?

I would go with the rather embarrassing, yet quite entertaining, photos of a still unnamed crowd surfer.

Never gonna happen, Magen.

I have a hard time choosing what my favorite aspect of my job is — I mean, I love the administrative side of what I do but I also love the ministry side as well.  I love the times when I’m watching a lot of girls run into a sleepover and I also love the times I run into one of them on aisle 12 at Wal-Mart.  I really love the fact that I’ve never had two days just alike in the five years I’ve been doing Starlite. 

I’m still feeling kind of out of it, so I gave up on working in an actual office around lunchtime and decided to set up shop in my bed.  There’s a reason we have laptops, you know.  Late in the afternoon, I got a call from one of our long-term leaders, Laura.  Her boyfriend, whom you may remember from recent posts, had gone to our University’s health center because he hadn’t been feeling well.  After passing out twice in the exam room, the on-campus doctor gave Laura strict instructions to take him directly to the emergency room.

As soon as Laura told me the news, I headed out the door — despite the fact that I was wearing leg warmers.  And that reminds me — why do these leg warmers look really cute when my roommate wears them but they look fairly ridiculous on me?  Can anyone help me with that? 

Anyway.  So straight to the hospital and back to exam room 10.  I go to the emergency room at our local hospital fairly often to be with our girls — both college and not.  I know the nurses’ names, especially those who have a kid in one of our programs.  I can always get them to hook me up with extra ice chips.  Perks of being in ministry, ya’ll. 

Chris had been hooked up to an IV and was doing much better but was pretty sleepy from some medicine they had given him.  After several minutes of cajoling, he and I finally convinced Laura to go with me to the hospital cafeteria to get some dinner.  She wasn’t happy about it but I knew she needed to eat — and have a few minutes to talk.

After a quick survey of the hospital cafeteria food choices, we decided on pre-packaged cereal with a side of ice cream.  We found a quiet booth in the back and began talking right away.  Over the next half hour, we talked about everything: her worries about Chris being so sick, stress she was feeling about having to miss an important night class to be at the hospital, etc.  We also talked about the normal stuff — well, boys.  Hers and mine.  And, what to do with them.  ‘Cause if there is one universal truth, it is that boys are c-o-n-to-the-fusing. 

Mom, that’s confusing.  Just making sure you understand.

At some point in the conversation, Laura suddenly said “This is like our very own one-on-one time together!  We haven’t had a chance to just talk in so long.”  She’s right.  All of our schedules are so busy and conflicting that we don’t always get to sit down with each other and just talk.  Even though I hated that Chris was so sick, I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed that chance to just sit and have girl talk with Laura. 

We weren’t doing anything major.  No massive sleepovers in the ICU ward of the hospital.  No evangelism in the pre-natal hallway.  Just having some Frosted Flakes and listening to the heart of a junior in college who is bound to change her world and the world around her.  Just listening to her talk about her boyfriend and her family and her paper that’s due next week.

And there, in that booth?  That’s exactly what God wants from me, I think.  He doesn’t need me to slip off my leg warmers and head out to do some big exploit for Him tonight.  I suspect He’d like for me to just pour some milk on my Cheerios and tell Him about my day, about what’s upsetting me and even about That Boy. 

I make it so complicated sometimes.  Good thing there’s some extra milk in the fridge tonight and a spoon calling my name.  I wonder if He prefers Fruit Loops or Corn Pops?

Over the past five years, I’ve had plenty of time to get used to people calling Starlite my “hobby” and “that little thing you do.”  I used to get all riled up; that little “hobby” was a 40+ hours a week thing I did.  For no pay.  For four straight years.  With only processed nacho cheese as my earthly reward.  Glory.

As I’ve grown to the ripe old age of 23, I’ve realized that it would be best to just let what we do speak for itself.  No need to defend it as a “real” ministry — especially since it isn’t my ministry, anyway.  I can pretty much guarantee that the day this ministry starts being about me is the day we’ll be having a yard sale advertising “all things pink.” 

And, truth be told, there are parts of it that I can’t even dream about claiming to have anything to do with simply due to the embarrassment factor.  Sometimes I wonder if God feels the same.  I submit the following for your consideration:

Here we have Erika and Angela preparing for their debut singing and dancing performance to “It’s Raining Men.”  Beauty like this doesn’t come easy, folks.

I mean, have you ever really sat down and thought about the physical stamina it takes to perform such a classic hit?  These beauties worked for hours on their dance routines… and their hair.  Obviously.

The pressure can be intense.  All those middle school eyes watching you, waiting for you to forget one of your signature choreographed moves.  Watching for you to fall off the stage.  Intense, I tell you.

Our leaders are professionals though.  Through the good times and the rough, they stick together.  Sometimes literally, but that was an accident.  And we don’t want to talk about that time, now do we?

They’ve got each other’s backs, no matter how ugly their hairstyles might be.  Sisters before misters, darlings.  And don’t you forget it.  Especially since after I press “publish,” there might not be any misters coming your way.

This, this is why we’re hot.  And how we roll.  And, incidentally, how we got last weekend’s massive sleepover off to a rockin’ start. 

And to think people don’t think we’re a real ministry.  Whatev’. 

You’ll be bored happy to know that the meds have kicked in… right around 3 a.m.  I spent a horrid glorious four hours staring at my ceiling this morning, willing myself to fall back asleep.  My doctor downgraded me to “pre-flu” yesterday so I spent most of my awake hours this morning wondering if that condition really exists.  Other questions I pondered? 

Why, a list of course!

1. Is my roommate sleeping or could I possibly wake her up to have some company? 

2. Why are my two puppies asleep but I am not?

3. Whatever happened to my 10th grade math teacher?  And, when am I going to use all that stuff she said I’d need one day?

4. Is it worth risking my very life to wake roommate up so I won’t be bored?

5. Do we have any Sunny Delight left?  And, if so, would it help me fall back asleep?

6. Did I ever go pick up my master’s diploma after having it framed?  Uh oh.  Hope they’re still holding onto it.

There were a lot more questions, but there was only one really important one: how shall I fix my hair in the morning? 

Sick or not, I obviously am able to focus on my priorities.

Also on the list of questions was what to use for today’s WSW.  After pondering this question for approximately 47 minutes while you were still in bed this morning and no I’m not bitter thanks for asking, I decided on a little quote from last weekend’s massive sleepover:

You might remember that we put wedding veils on the middle schoolers and let them walk down the aisle where a Jesus-figure-ish-person tied a necklace on them that represented their commitment to being the bride of Christ.  As one little girl made her way back to her seat, she tugged on one of our leader’s shirts to get her attention.  The leader, thinking she had some in depth spiritual question, leaned down only to hear the following:

“WHERE did ya’ll find such a hot Jesus?  He looks just like Ryan Seacrest!”

Well said, my pre-teen Jesus-lover.  Please join the girl in the altar call who asked us to pray about her crush on “the hot Jesus” we had in that night’s drama.  I think you two will get along rather nicely.

I’m used to getting recognized in our small town as the leader of Starlite.  Before you start thinking I walk around with a head the size of Texas wearing sunglasses everywhere I go, you should know that me being recognized doesn’t mean that much.  I mean, there aren’t too many all-girls’ ministries here, after all.  We kind of have the market on that one.

It seems to always happen at the most embarrassing moments possible.  There was the time in Wal-Mart when I had no make-up on and ran into one of our largest financial donors.  Oh, and the time a police officer pulled me over for speeding only to say “hey, my daughter goes to your program!”  And, in perhaps the worst moment, once when I was on a date and a parent approached our table to ask about tips on disciplining her wayward teenage daughter.

Umm, hello?  I can’t even discipline my wayward puppies.  I’m not the person you want to ask about that particular subject.  And, for the love of all things beautiful, I’m on a DATE, ma’am.  This happens once in a lifetime.  Please, please go away.

Yesterday, however, marked a new low in the list of moments-I-wish-the-ground-would-open-up-and-swallow-me.  After a quick exam at the doctor’s office, I was informed that Mr. Flu Bug had come to visit me for a few days.  Even worse, the doctor said I needed to have a shot right then and there.

I decided to pray that I wouldn’t end up whimpering like last time take my shot like a big girl.  The nurse kept looking at my strangely as she prepared the needle.  Then, right before the big stick came, I heard the following:

“Aren’t you that girl who leads the pink ministry?”

And then, bam!  The flu-fighter was entering a particular area of my torso and it was stinging like a hornet.  I was struggling with how to reply and only coming up with “Yes-oh! OH MY GOODNESS yes, I lead that OUCH ministry.”

Except that “ouch” word might have actually been a naughty word.  Maybe.  I can’t confirm or deny that rumor. 

Oh, quit judging me.  You let someone poke you with a very sharp needle that contains what MUST HAVE BEEN STINGING POISON and then you try to talk about your “pink ministry.”

Yes, I repented and promised to be a better Starlite leader, not to mention PR person.  Happy now?

*UPDATE: The inevitable calls that I’ve been fearing started pouring in early this morning. 

“Amy Beth?  It’s Cate.  Just wanted you to know Kaffa has the flu, too.”

“Hey, sorry to bother you while you’re sick but just wanted you to know that Katie D.’s sick too.  Said she feels like she got run over by a truck.”

“Jennifer’s not going to be able to cover for Kaffa tonight because she’s sick too.”

And then, another call from Cate:

“So, how exactly did you feel when you first got sick?  ‘Cause I don’t feel so well…….”

Oh man.  Anyone want to lead a bunch of Starlite programs this week?  It is looking like we might be a few leaders short……….

For some reason, ever since I’ve been a child, cold medicine has either made me absolutely wild or put me in a zombie-like state.  Almost every single time I get sick, my mom tells stories about her giving me children’s cold medicine as a child only to have me literally bouncing off walls moments after the dose had been administered.

The zombie-like state isn’t much better.  A few months ago, my then-boyfriend came over to bring chicken noodle soup and check on me while I was sick one day.  From what I heard later on, I kept asking him what we were going to do if the kitchen sky kept turning blue.

Having no memory of this conversation, I can only assume that his reply included laughter.  Pity laughter, perhaps, but laughter indeed.

I haven’t felt that great lately, so I finally broke down last night and admitted that it was time to embrace my need of the cold medicine.  Unfortunately, I decided to take it rather early in the evening figuring that there wasn’t much more I needed to do last night and could go to bed early.

Wrong.

I forgot that I consistently get about a majillion texts from Starlite people all the time.  And so, as my phone beeped throughout the night, I would groggily look at it and decide whether or not to answer.  Most of the messages could wait for this morning, but I decided to answer one from a friend who was asking if I felt better.  I typed out a quick message, pressed send and got back a reply of “lol.”

This morning, I started thinking that it was kind of weird that she had written “lol” to me saying that I was still sick, so I decided to check my sent folder on my phone to see just what I had written.  Oh, interlings.  I should be forbidden from cold medicine.

“i jon’t feal beter.  i jus wanna sleeep all tha time.”

So, off to the doctor I go in just a bit.  I can only hope that I will refrain from mentioning how the ceiling of the exam room seems to be turning blue like the sky.

Now that I have had approximately 136 hours of sleep — which leaves me needing only 52 more to be back to my pre-MSW (Massive Sleepover Week) self — I am ready to give you a full re-cap of this past week.  Using, of course, pictures.  Because pictures are worth a thousand words.  And me?  I have not a thousand words.  In fact, I have not much a voice left.  This is what happens when you spend a few hours repeatedly yelling “Quit climbing up that banister!  You are not a monkey!” and “If I have to tell you one more time to stop dropping it like it is hot, I’m gonna drop you… on your head.”

Princess Patience of Sleepover Kingdom, I am not.

Ahem.  Moving on.

Here’s how the week went down:

One of the things I feel strongly about in Starlite is trying to focus on details — seeing if there isn’t a way we can make everything we do have just a bit more personalization for the girls.  So, we try to add that extra touch — whether it be ribbon, a handwritten note or whatever time and resources will allow.

For example, our invitations to the sleepover:

We found this cute paper at Target a few months ago and bought them out of it at three different stores.  Over the past few weeks, we have been printing invitations to the sleepover out (we do about a third of the total needed in our office; the rest are done at a local copy and print center).  For this event, we did a little over 1,700 invitations.  We separate them into packets for each of our middle schools and the rest is history.  We also use past event records and current program records to make a whole lot of phone calls encouraging the girls to come to the event as well as sending handwritten note cards to the homes of girls who we haven’t seen in awhile.  The pink and black paper dots that you see beside the invitations were being punched out to add some flair to the girl’s breakfast bags that they’d receive on their way out the door Saturday morning.  We add a little “Good morning, princess!” note to the front of the bags and presto!  You’ve got a sweet note to leave the sleepover on — and something good to eat on the way home.

For the little girl’s party, we spent plenty of time getting little treats together for them.  After it was over, we had a couple of extra cups left and I took the miniature containers of Play-Dough out and kept them for myself.  What can I say?  There have to be some perks to being in charge.

In addition to having a huge team that goes out to the schools each week to actually work with the girls, we have a great group of girls who volunteer their time in our office to help with all the details.  Tiffany is our very own Wonder Woman of Event Signs.

Her sign was attached along with these lovely V-Day decorations to help parents find our office since this was the first time we’ve held a Twinkle event there.  I’m thinking it was hard for them to miss the hot pink everything.

The lovely Laura worked tirelessly to help decorate for the event and was surprised by an impromptu V-day visit from her boyfriend, Chris.  He literally swept her off her feet.  Laura had decided, with Chris’ blessing, to spend her V-day night helping us with the Twinkle party at the office.  Little did she know that Chris and I had already worked out a sweet little surprise for her later that evening — more on that in a bit.

However that wasn’t my only Cupid-assisting role of the day.  Early V-day morning, I got up and unlocked the townhouse my roomie Katie and I live in so that her boyfriend, Eric, could sneak in and create a V-day display of l-u-v.  Eric had written out a TON of things that he loves about Katie and spread them throughout the first floor of our place.  I, being the sneaky yet helpful roommate, captured the moment on camera so Katie would have the pictures later.  Oh, and I drank a whole lot of this:

Because Sunny Delight?  It is my friend.  I love it more than I love my favorite pair of rain boots.  And, if you know me well at all, you know what a strong statement I just made.  There was no one I’d rather spend my V-day morning with that Mr. Delight.  He and I are just meant to be together.

Back to Katie.  While sipping away at my morning goodness, I read through some of Eric’s sentimental thoughts about his longtime girlfriend.  I was so touched by one in particular that I just had to share it with the interlings:

The only thing that would make my mornings better would be if this sign was taped to my bottle of Sunny Delight each day.  But alas, Mr. Delight can’t exactly write.  And so, I console myself with the fact that his true feelings towards me will remain hidden at this time.

Ahem.  Back to the ministry portion of the week.

I wanted to do a little something special for our Starlite leaders (remember, at this time I had no idea that one of them would later deflate my air mattress while I was sleeping on it).  So, I had ordered a little surprise for them from a local bakery:

Please note that not only do the cookies have their first initials on them, but I found the cutest lollipop V-day cards EVER.  I threw one in the box for this picture so that I could share the cuteness with all of the interlings.

There was, perhaps, one Starlite leader who deserved her cookie more than the others.  About an hour before the Twinkle event began, we realized that we needed another “station” for the girls to do something at since we were doing a rotating party (one group was getting a manicure while another group made a picture frame and so forth).  Desperate and out of time, we decided to have a “puppy petting station.”  In order to do this, however, two little puppies needed a bath.  Jenelle and our adorable office bathtub came to the rescue:

Hello, Cuddles.  Mommy is sorry, again, for what you had to go through on Valentine’s Day.  But thank you for sacrificing your peace of mind for the pleasure of 60 little girls petting you.  They, and I, thank you for giving to the Lord.

Before long, we were ready for the girls to begin arriving.

And yes, we do put our leaders in matching outfits down to their scarves and mittens.  We are a girl’s ministry, for goodness sakes.  What did you expect?

Megan, of 3rd grade fame, arrived in style and ready for some fun.  We don’t normally post pictures of any of the girls, but I know Megan’s parents and they gave the okay for her to appear on MinSoFab.  Although “appear” is a strong word, now isn’t it?

Remember Laura, who thought that she was spending V-day away from her boyfriend?  Well, once the girls got there, we stuck Laura doing a menial task and passed out signs to the girls that spelled out “surprise!”.  When Laura came back into the main room, she found her boyfriend and 60 little girls waiting to tell her that she was being whisked away from the madness to go on a lovely date to a fancy restaurant.

I do believe Cupid, Chris and I pulled off the surprise rather nicely.  After doing so much hard labor for Cupid (and, well, God — don’t forget that somebody had to stay and take care of those little girls), I headed home.  Mere moments later, I went to my door to find a group of Starliters coming with a V-day gift of ice cream and dinner (notice how I listed the ice cream first).  The best part?  Chris, one of our male volunteers, proposed to me.

What is that you’re saying, interlings?  You’re asking if that isn’t just my camera case and not a ring box?  Well, yeah but I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about it.  It was a practice run-through.  I’m determined that Chris has to marry one of our college girls, so I forced let him practice his proposal skills on me.

The fun continued the next day with our massive sleepover.  Here, Kaffa and Chris try to fix a very large pot of spaghetti.  It did not go well.

After we fed the girls dinner, we did a lengthy drama that featured a girl going through different stages of her life.  It begins with her as a young child and follows her up into adulthood.  As she goes through the different stages, the girls got to see how both God and the enemy were working behind the scenes to shape certain experiences she went through.  In the climax, both the Jesus character and the Satan character propose to the girl, leaving her with the choice whose bride she will be.  When she came out in the final scene wearing a full bridal outfit (we’re talking dress, train, veil, etc.) the girls actually gasped.  It was adorable.

The big surprise for the girls came after that though.  We had created miniature wedding veils that they got to wear as they came down the aisle to where the Jesus character stood.  When they reached the front, Jeff (who is a fantastic Jesus-portrayer) tied a blue necklace with a silver ring on it around their necks to symbolize our collective commitment as the bride of Christ.  I, and most of our other volunteers and leaders, cried the entire time as we watched the girls come down the aisle wearing their pajamas and a wedding veil.  Of course, I did catch a couple of girls who don’t exactly look like middle schoolers trying the veils on for themselves:

I’m just glad no one got a picture of me trying on the veils in our office earlier that morning.  Listen, someone had to fulfill her fantasy of wearing a wedding veil make sure they looked right.

So, interlings, to sum up the week, I think the best way to end this post is by reminding you that they all lived happily ever after.

And perhaps by taking another nap.

At some point during last night, I fell asleep in a room full of air mattresses with other Starlite leaders.  I awoke a few minutes later to find that my air mattress had been deflated.

The sad thing is that I don’t think it was a middle schooler who did it.  I think it was one of our leaders.

And I am out for revenge.  Ya’ll better be sleepin’ with one eye open tonight.

For now though, I’m out for going to bed at 8:30 p.m. on a Saturday night.  Those kids wore me out last night.

And the middle schoolers were pretty bad, too.

Hola, interlings.

The update promised earlier today isn’t exactly going to happen.  I seem to have forgotten all of the last minute things that come up when you’re hosting an event for a bunch of little girls.  Silly me.

I am currently “live blogging” (man, I feel so cool right now) from the upper floor of this youth facility.   We have just finished a great service and are transitioning into “Sparkle Idol.”  What I’m trying to say is that we’re about to let a bajillion little girls dance and sing on stage.

I have a feeling that tomorrow morning’s blog title might possibly be “101 Reasons Why You Should Never Give a Little Girl a Microphone.”

I only have a few minutes of freedom time left, so here’s a few highlights from tonight so far:

1. This afternoon I realized that I really didn’t want to bring my puppies to tonight’s sleepover as it is one thing to expose them to my little Twinkle girls but a whole new punishment ballgame to bring them to something like this.  Since all my normal puppy-sitters are actually here working with us tonight, I had to pull out the big guns.  Result?  My favorite graduate school professor and his family are watching the puppies tonight.  I am so not joking.

2. While trying to fix massive pots of spaghetti to feed these little princesses, one of our male volunteers (Chris) accidentally set his shirt on fire.  What makes this so hilarious is that he was set to portray Satan in tonight’s drama.  Coincidence?  I think not.

3. When I gave the altar call tonight, about 50 girls came forward.  I noticed that one girl seemed really upset.  They were all crying, but this girl was doing the ugly cry.  I saw one of our volunteers praying with her and figured that everything was okay.  After the service ended, the leader came up and told me that the girl had asked her to pray about her crush on one of our male leaders.  What made this even funnier?  It was the one portraying Jesus in tonight’s drama.

Oh man.  I have five little girls trying to read this over my shoulders right now.  Time to get back to work I guess. 

What I’m trying to say is: please come save me.  And, when you come, please bring me something to eat other than cold pizza.

And, maybe some earplugs too?