Ever since I went on the date with That Boy, I’ve been ashamed of the fact that while he mentioned he is a fabulous cook, I can’t make a frozen pizza without burning it.  So, last night, I decided to try out a couple of new recipes and prove to myself that I can cook just as well as That Boy.

And for those of you who have been emailing to ask if there’s any update on me and That Boy, I think the fact that I just admitted I spent my Friday night alone trying to cook for well, myself, pretty much answers that question. 

Single life, I never really left you even if I did get to spend one fun night away from your sharp claws.

Ahem.

Anyway, I decided to try to make chicken fingers and cheese biscuits.  Because I am all about the healthy food choices.

In all seriousness though, I wanted to make them for some Starlite college girls who are coming to my place tonight and figured I better do a test run before they showed up.  And that is also known as the understatement of the year.

Here’s the problem: I watch those cooking shows where the chef will say “Oh, I don’t have my such-and-such ingredient.  I’ll just substitute with THIS!”  Or they say “This recipe calls for a tablespoon of such-and-such.  I don’t need to measure it out because I know how to make it!” 

And then I do the same in my kitchen.

And lo, a disaster is born.

I’ll skip boring you with the details, but here are some helpful hints straight from my heart to yours:

1. Flour is a very important ingredient in the biscuit making process.  So, make sure you remember to include it.  Otherwise, you’re going to wonder why your “dough” is just liquid.  

2. Should you find yourself with a bowl full of “biscuit dough” that is actually liquid, shrugging your shoulders and pouring it on a pan to bake isn’t going to magically create biscuits in 12 - 16 minutes.  Check the recipe, fool!

3. You know how the recipe calls for grated sharp cheddar cheese?  Chunks of mild cheddar cheese thrown into the bowl will cause a very, very disgusting ending.

4. When mixing up the fried chicken batter, note that it calls for a teaspoon of pepper.  Your idea to use 1/4 of a cup of whole peppercorns because “you like things spicy” is going to send you running for the jug of Sunny Delight. 

5. It is a good idea to learn to defrost your chicken before dropping it into a vat of hot oil.  Otherwise, you’ll be left with some new beauty marks courtesy of the oil.

There’s more, but this is all my heavy heart can offer to you this morning. 

And anyways, I need to go call in a pizza order for later tonight.