A few days ago I told you that one of my main tasks this summer, at least in relation to Starlite, will be to raise money to support our programs.

I’ve got a lot of personal goals for the summer, too. I’m going to work on some writing projects, go on a couple of trips and even try to spend a few hours at the pool. Oh, and I’m planning to spend some quality bonding time with Imaginary Boyfriend.

But back to Starlite: I thought I’d give you a quick peek into some ways that I will no longer be using to help support our hot pink ministry:

1. Babysitting – While you might think that babysitting at $6.00 / hr would be an excellent way for us to earn cash for our ministry, you’d be… well, wrong. The problem is that most of our leaders don’t really get along with children. They’re just in Starlite for the processed nacho cheese. I, on the other hand, definitely have a way with children, especially babies:

2. Dancing at Chuck E. Cheese — I’d like to clarify that we won’t actually be dancing at any establishment, but especially not Chuck E. Cheese. As you will see below, we have an entire dance troupe — led by yours truly — that endeavors to bring in the dollars. Shockingly, all we received at this particular event was a few tokens and some tickets that could be redeemed for plastic prizes that broke on the way home.

3. Playing any form of music instrument — While this may come as a shock to you, I am not a real guitarist. I know, I know. All this time you’ve been thinking that I’ve been hiding my true rocker side behind all this hot pink fluff. Sadly, my days of headlining at all the major concerts have come to an end. Notice that I am really playing pretending to play.

On second thought, after a quick look at next year’s budget compared with the rising costs of processed nacho cheese…

BOOK NOW. Babysitting, dancing, acting like fools… you name it, we do it.