I’ll be sure to give you an update on the whole wheat Goldfish crackers as long as you promise not to laugh.
I love new beginnings. New years, new months, new weeks and even new days. Today, however, marks a new beginning that I’m not all that thrilled about. Yet.
With summer finally here (at least for us in Starlite), I decided to try to use the next three months to focus on bringing more discipline to a few different areas of my life (though, trust me, all of them need it). I’ve spent the last five years earning two degrees, starting a ministry, working a trijillion part-time jobs, etc.
In the middle of all that, I lost something important — me. The truth is that, until recently, I felt like a stranger to myself. I didn’t even realize that it had happened until I was in my last relationship. The person I was dating genuinely liked me — not Starlite Amy Beth, not Academic Amy Beth and not even Workaholic Amy Beth. When he would tell me this, I didn’t argue — I just couldn’t understand what was left over after you took away those three big things. I honestly could not figure out what there was for him to like about me. And that is a whole other problem in itself.
I guess that’s one thing about the bloggy that I like so much — the fact that you get to know yourself better. Sometimes when I’m looking through old posts to find one to link to whatever I’m writing, I’ll see something I wrote and think “Wow! I never knew I felt that way.” As weird as this will sound, it is almost like meeting a brand new person each time I write a post.
I’ve spent the last few weeks looking at my life and noticing a few areas that aren’t in full submission to God. Some are obvious; others aren’t. But the bottom line is that I want God’s best for me so I can be my best for Him.
And so, I’ve decided to use the next 100 days of my life to lay various things before Him and ask for His discipline. One of the many areas that I’m going to work on is being healthier. I think it is more than just weight and food and exercise — I want to be emotionally healthy, spiritually healthy and, of course, physically healthy.
On my way home from the office last night, I called my best friend to let her know I was seriously, really, TOTALLY GONNA DO THE 100 DAY THING-Y. Her reaction?
About 48 seconds of gut-wrenching laughter.
I knew she didn’t think I was serious, so I decided it was time to bring the big guns out:
Me: “No, really. Let me tell you what I bought at the grocery store today.”
Ashley: “What would that be?”
Me: “Whole wheat Goldfish!”
Ashley: “Goldfish?”
Me: “WHOLE WHEAT! Did you hear the part about the whole wheat-ness?”
Ashley: “Yeah. But I’m just going to go ahead and tell you that they don’t taste as good as the regular.”
Me: “Thanks, Ash. You’re a real pal.”
So stay tuned, my little lambs. We’ve got 100 days of whole wheat fun ahead of us.
Fabulous.
Posted: May 1st, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 12
Comments
Comment from Lauren
Time: May 1, 2008, 11:56 am
Does that mean that all the food at the event thingy this weekend is going to be whole-wheat? Otherwise, I am VERY proud of you AB. you go gal!
Comment from Jenn C
Time: May 1, 2008, 11:56 am
Funny thing… I was reading an unmentionable celebrity’s blog today, and he talks about how our self-consciousness (good and bad) can be toxic. He’s lost himself too.. is what I’m trying to say. Good for you AB!!!
Comment from Ashley Flores
Time: May 1, 2008, 12:11 pm
Ok, lets add a few more things into the conversation…
1.My explaination for the laughter is that last time you told me you were going to be healthier it lasted, oh, about 3 days!
2. After the laughter ended, I realized you were serious and told you that you had my complete support.
3. Lastly, it’s true about those crazy goldfish. They’re not as good as the regular ones. Listen, when you have an almost 2 year old, you’ve tried just about every kind of goldfish out there.
Comment from Amy Beth
Time: May 1, 2008, 12:13 pm
Oh, I thought you might try to defend yourself, wee little one. But only I (and, well, you) know the truth. lol
I haven’t tried the Goldfish yet. Too scared. Well, that and the fact that I haven’t actually really been at home much in the last 24 hours. 
Comment from Brandy T.
Time: May 1, 2008, 1:26 pm
First of all, I personally love whole wheat goldfish and can’t tell that much of a difference. Secondly, way to go! I’m so proud of you for going for it! Third, when you figure out how to find yourself… please let me know.
Comment from Amanda
Time: May 1, 2008, 1:26 pm
AB,
I’m excited for you. 100 days is a great goal to make some changes. Keep your close friends of accountability in the areas that you choose and have a plan (baby steps each day) and you are on your way!
100 days…you can do it!
Comment from Diane
Time: May 1, 2008, 3:56 pm
Yay for you!
Don’t eat them if you don’t like them.
I’m afraid they will taste like three year old Goldfish crackers. Expired ones. Stale.
Comment from Kelly @ Love Well
Time: May 3, 2008, 2:00 pm
AB, you obviously have a huge heart and you work so hard. Don’t forget that spending some time focusing on you is ministry too.
Those whole-wheat Goldfish might just be a ministry tool.
Comment from Honour Annekins Harris
Time: May 4, 2008, 5:54 pm
I`m so proud of you, AB! This is really awesome.
Comment from Jackie
Time: May 16, 2008, 12:45 am
Oh, this post spoke VOLUMES to me! Not only because I need to become more disciplined in just about every area of my life….but also because I too have gotten to know myself so much better since I have started blogging. Makes perfect sense, you said it well.
Comment from SB
Time: July 14, 2008, 8:49 am
So, I’m catching up on some of these – I love that you’re writing again, AB! And I just want to say that I agree with the ex – I genuinely like YOU – not the Starlite, academic, or workaholic AB, but Amy Beth Bullard, my friend and name twin since sophomore year of college. That’s my fave.
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Comment from Another Jenn C
Time: May 1, 2008, 11:19 am
You go, girl! I need to exercise more discipline in a lot of areas, too. You’ve inspired me, whole wheat goodness and all.