I’m trying to think of any guy friends that owe me favors. The list is surprisingly short.
After eating a quick dinner tonight, I decided to head over to the Starlite office because I had forgotten something that I needed. As I step into the front office, I get this overwhelming feeling of dread. The Stop Me In My Tracks type of dread.
I didn’t hear anything that caused me to feel the dread. I didn’t see anything. I didn’t even smell anything. OH BUT I SENSED IT.
And that’s when I saw them: BIRDS. Real, live BIRDS IN OUR OFFICE.
Now. I am not proud of what I’m about to tell you, but tell I must: upon seeing the birds perched throughout the front office, I uttered a VERY naughty word, grabbed my purse and ran screaming into our front lawn. A man jogging past our office asked me if everything was okay. My reply?
“NO EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY. There are BIRDS IN THE OFFICE.”
He started laughing and said he couldn’t help me with that. And so I went to my car.
After making sure the doors to my car were locked, I looked into the office window to see three birds (THREE BIRDS!) merrily flying around. And then I, alone in my car, screamed again.
Ya’ll, I do not know what to do. This has happened once before (last summer, actually) and we our landlord discovered that they had come in through the chimney. He had a mesh covering put over it BUT OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING IS AMISS.
You know, for all my hot pink bloggy-ness, I’m pretty tough. I deal with hard stuff every single week — eating disorders, cutting, sexual abuse. But ya’ll, I cannot go back into that office until the birds are gone.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
P.S. - Wouldn’t it be helpful if I had a boyfriend so he could handle this for me? That one’s for You, God. I’m just sayin’.
P.P.S. - Excuse me, you? Woman who is about to leave a comment saying I shouldn’t need a boy’s help to deal with this? YOU try walking into your adorable ministry office and feeling like you’re trapped in the bird section of Petco EXCEPT THESE BIRDS AREN’T PRETTY-COLORED.
P.P.P.S. - Also, I do feel bad about the naughty word. But ya’ll. There was a bird near MY HEAD.
P.P.P.P.S. – I want you to know that I almost called my ex to see if he could go and handle it for me. But ya’ll taught me well during the Birthday Fiasco of ’08. I have learned from my thoughtful, yet wicked ways.
Well, it isn’t funny, but I hafta confess… I’m laffin’! You had a bird near…. YOUR HAIR! That could have been tragic. Thankfully it wasn’t.
On the advice on how to rid your office of the birds? I got nuthin’. I do know I’d be pounding on the landlord’s front door though and d.e.m.a.n.d.i.n.g. immediate action. Hang in there!
I feel your pain…what is it about birds flying around that is so ….FRIGHTENING! YUCK!
Go find some guy to sweet talk…totally worth it
I would totally let you borrow my husband for such a task as this, but sometime I’ll have to tell you you about our “bat incident” on our honeymoon… based on that story,you may not find him very helpful!
oh! bat as in nocturnal flying creature, NOT bat as in baseball/softball equipment!
Perhaps you’ll find a birdman who will be a hottie and come rescue you! Have you ever seen the Hitchcock movie??? Ick.
Aw, poor birdies. Trapped in an office. I would pick one up and hold it and tell it is ok. Seriously. ANIMAL LOVER OVER HERE. Whenever you need someone to get rid of birds, call me!
Birds are so disgusting! And to think they’re in there… pooping and stuff… gross! I look forward to your update on how you got rid of them.
I was once attacked while driving by a flock of birds. Honest to blog! lol. Jesus and I have had many a long talk about that creation decision. And I must say, if God is going to allow all of sky creation to nest in your office… a boyfriend is not only NEEDED but officially on my prayer post-it note for you! ; ) That’s right. I pen post-it note prayers.
I think the birds are on the move. two days ago i was laying on a park bench, reading, minding my own buisness, when this bird (who was obviously lacking some mental capabilities) flew onto the back of the bench right by my head!
I kid you not, it really happened. I nearly threw the boook at it, but he (the bird) was just as surprised as I was and promptly flew away. I think he said the same thing i said in birdy language, he definitely had the “oh my gosh” look on his face!
[...] began with me riding around on a golf cart with a boy before discovering birds in the Starlite office. This resulted in me posting a video of me running in terror from the birds and then having to [...]