Last night, after only having been in Memphis for a few hours, it was time for a two year old’s birthday.  In attendance was someone I will call Mr. Bob (not his real name; I’m trying to protect the not-so-innocent innocent here).

I met Mr. Bob a few years ago; he owned a chain of pizza parlors in the area.  Not only did he support Starlite each month, but once while I was in Memphis, he actually let me MAKE PIZZAS IN ONE OF HIS SHOPS.  It was rather awesome if I do say so myself.

Last night, as the birthday party was winding down, Mr. Bob picked up two cupcakes and handed one to me.  He then proceeded to challenge me to a little Cupcake Duel.  He claimed he knew a girl who could stuff an entire cupcake into her mouth, but he was SURE that I couldn’t do it.

Obviously, I am very easily challenged.

I told him I’d do it if he did it and we proceeded to stuff a rather large cupcake in each of our mouths.  Except I couldn’t get all of mine in because, you see, I really don’t have a big mouth.  And so, there I stood with half of a cupcake obstructing my main airway (the pink icing was in my nose, so?  the air flow? WHERE IS THE AIR FLOW?).

What is even more precious about this entire ordeal is that my friend Kelly captured every last beautiful second of it on video.

Which I am not posting here.

And trust me, if you could see it, you’d thank me for not posting it.  There isn’t anything pretty about stuffing cupcakes in your mouth… and then losing the duel.

Defeated.  I can’t believe it.