Kelly asked “Where did you grow up? And if the answer is Tennessee, do you ever see yourself leaving that region of the country? Do you have siblings? If so, what are they like? Which Shamu-cam do you frequent the most?”

I grew up in a very small town in Tennessee; we then moved to Knoxville when I was in middle school. I moved to Cleveland (TENNESSEE, not Ohio) when I started college and that’s where I still live now. I love TN, so I hate the idea of leaving it… there are, however, other things that I know I’m called to do beyond Starlite so… who knows where I will go?

I have a brother who is 21… I’m trying to think of a good way to describe him. He is hysterically funny and, in my opinion, could do some great things for God. He’s in a place in his life right now that isn’t too fun to watch for those of us who love him. I miss the old him.

As far as which Shamu cam I watch, IS THERE MORE THAN ONE? BECAUSE IF SO, I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME. STAT.

Anna asked “What type of deodorant do you use?”

Anna’s one of my Starlite leaders, so this question isn’t too weird (I guess). I use Secret. Happy now?

Jenn asked “What are the top three things on your “I gotta do this before I die” list, excluding getting married and having a family?”

Let’s see here… I really do want to write a book (see last question on this post for what I want to write about). I also would like to do something that involved me traveling on a tour bus (speaking, I guess, since we all know I can’t sing). And… I’d really, really like to meet Shamu’s trainers.

Kristen asked “What is the number one issue you see holding young girls back from SATISFACTION in their salvation? Or just the number one thing holding them back from salvation?”

Still not sure on an answer to the first question; my opinion on the second question will probably light some fuses, but oh well. I believe the number one thing holding young girls back from accepting Christ is the way their fathers have treated them. Whether their dad has beat them or their dad has just never been around, I think most young girls equate God / Jesus with the main male figure in their lives: their dad.

I will never forget giving an altar call at an event one time. I asked girls who had been physically or emotionally abused by their fathers to come forward. There were 251 middle school girls at that event; 246 came forward. You do the math.

Jenelle asked “Have you ever experienced abuse in the ways our girls at Starlite have? How? And How did God get you through it? What is it like on the other side of that pain?”

I definitely did hit the big three — emotional, physical and s*xual abuse. I never discuss the actual details of it publicly simply because I want to focus as much attention as I can on the Healer not the hurter. With that said, I think it is VERY important that I am upfront and honest about having experienced all three types of abuse. I try to teach our girls that there’s no reason to hide it or be afraid of admitting it.

One of the big things that helped me get through it was counseling. I did four (FOUR!) long, hard years of counseling. It takes everyone different amounts of time; nobody’s story will be just like mine.

I also have a diary that I kept while I was walking through the healing process. One thing that I wish was available in books about overcoming abuse is something where the author can say “Okay, here’s what it actually felt like to sit in the counseling office.” You don’t see a lot of that. I want to write that book one day, pulling actual entries from my diary. I was brutally honest in that thing — including entries from the nights I sat with pill bottles in my lap wanting it to just be over.

What does it feel like being on the other side of the abuse? I don’t know that it really feels “good.” I hate it when people come up to me after I speak somewhere and say “I’m so sorry that the Lord had you go through that but look what He’s done with it” because I don’t believe that any loving Father wants His daughter to be violently hurt on repeated occasions.

On the other hand, I (both figuratively and literally) walk into a whole lot of rooms with horrible, ugly things happening to girls. And, had I not been in those rooms myself all those years ago, I don’t know how willing I would be to walk in them now. I think a lot of people get trapped in the doorways once they’re close enough to see how ugly abuse can be.

I also have to be extremely careful about falling / slipping / diving into pits related to this. When I was going through a particularly rough part of my counseling experience where I decided I was tired of trying to be healed, I remember the counselor looking straight at me and saying “Amy Beth, I’ve seen these things go south before. You have to keep working.” Unfortunately, I chose not to keep working at it and things sure did go south — quickly. But that’s a story for another time.

Thank you for coming along for reader questions this week! We’ll be back to the normal programming — processed nacho cheese, Imaginary Boyfriend and my hair — very soon.