To this day, I still get nervous at the cash register.
I had to run to Staples earlier, my office supply store of choice. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned just how much I love office supply stores before. So, um, I LOVE THEM.
There’s just something about being surrounded by brand new pencils and paperclips and binders and THE LABELS, I LOVE THE LABELS.
You know how most girls my age daydream about meeting Mr. Right and their house with a white picket fence and a baby on their hip? Well, I daydream about being given a three minute shopping spree through Staples.
Okay, I daydream about the other stuff too. You caught me.
I’m the go-to girl when it comes to needing to buy more paper supplies. I could be sitting at my desk, hard at work on comparing figures of processed nacho cheese costs and hear an office volunteer mention that we’re low on rubber bands. Suddenly, I am out running out of my office, purse flying out behind me telling everyone I’ll GO TAKE CARE OF THE RUBBERBAND CRISIS, BE RIGHT BACK.
One time, when we were in the middle of our busiest week of the year, we ran out of mailing labels while we still had 500-ish postcards needing labels. I, being so self-sacrificing, headed to Staples, grabbed the labels and headed for the cash register.
I was trying to punch my PIN number in when I heard a woman say “Mouse!” I looked over to see a small mouse sitting about 10 feet from me, just watching the shoppers. I, of course, stayed VERY CALM as I literally jumped onto the register counter and began screaming hysterically.
I’m not joking. I jumped like someone had set a fire underneath my ba-donk-a-donk.
The cashier, God bless his sweet little heart, didn’t know what to do with me. The manager eventually came over and told me I could get down and finish my transaction, but I told him that HELLO, THERE IS A RABID BEAST ON THE LOOSE IN YOUR STORE, SIR.
They opened up another cash registered so that the nice people behind me could make their purchases while I continued my stake-out on checkout lane # 2. I stayed in my safe place until some fearless Staples employees properly disposed of the rodent.
After I finished my purchase, I grabbed my purse and literally ran out to my car whilst (I AM FAKE-BRITISH!) various store employees and customers stared on in disbelief. As soon as I was safely in my car, I realized that the labels? They were still in mouse-territory.
My journey back to register # 2 brought new meaning to the walk of shame.
Posted: June 25th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 14
Comments
Comment from Natalie Witcher
Time: June 25, 2008, 9:24 am
I LOVE those places too! The pen aisle has angels singing everytime I walk down them. As for the mouse…I would have said, “Hey, look a mouse.” And gone on my way. Silly little Amy Beth. Funny you had to go back in!
Comment from Erin
Time: June 25, 2008, 9:38 am
I am so totally in love with office supply stores. I could browse around in there for forever… The colored sharpies are my favorite.
Comment from Michelle
Time: June 25, 2008, 9:56 am
Oh I totally love those shops too! I justify it with being a teacher and needing a lot of stationery. I find it all far too exciting!
Comment from Ronnica
Time: June 25, 2008, 11:24 am
I love all that stuff too! My favorite are pens. And notebooks. And paper. And notecards.
Office Max sends my work $10 off $20 purchase, but we never shop there, so my boss always gives them to me!
Comment from Sarah
Time: June 25, 2008, 2:14 pm
Whenever I’m having a bad day, I just head over here for a good laugh.
Thank you, Amy Beth, for the entertainment.
Comment from Melody
Time: June 25, 2008, 2:47 pm
After watching you on the video with the *dare I say it* BIRDS, I am not completely surprised about your reaction with the mouse.
I don’t freak when I see those types of buggers, but when I see a BEE (anything with a stinging looking “ba-donk-a-donk”-I think that’s hilarious)…then I do freak out. I have been known to shut myself in my room for a very long time because I didn’t know if the BEE was dead yet. 
Comment from Jenn @ Casa de Castro
Time: June 25, 2008, 2:56 pm
I’m so disappointed that you didn’t arrive at Staples with a least a SMALL amount of processed nacho cheese in tow. I thought that stuff followed you everywhere. And if it had?? Well, that little mousey could have be lured away from the check out line quickly! Too bad you didn’t have your video camera handy for that experience. I’d have paid good money to see it!
Comment from Erica
Time: June 25, 2008, 4:03 pm
I found a mouse in my dog food bucket once. I opened the lid and there it was! I froze for a moment before I called my husband. He properly disposed of the “rabid beast”
Comment from Sarah@life in the parsonage
Time: June 25, 2008, 5:37 pm
I just have to say, I love ya, Amy Beth 
Comment from Karen
Time: June 25, 2008, 8:32 pm
I love office supplies, too! I have a fondness for plastic things – bins, binders, pencil boxes. All those pretty colors! And office supply stores are overflowing with plastic-y goodness!
And I’ve got a bead on you Future Husband – you totally need to hook up with an exterminator. You’ll never again need to worry about beasties of any sort at all!
Comment from Marla Taviano
Time: June 25, 2008, 8:43 pm
I want to be FAKE-BRITISH!!
Comment from Katie
Time: June 25, 2008, 9:07 pm
I found your site from boomama…and you are so funny!
I share your love for office supplies. I’m a teacher and I just love sharpies. I have them in every color and every degree of thickness!
Comment from Trace
Time: June 26, 2008, 5:19 pm
Gah, LOVE office supply stores! It’s especially awesome now that I work in an office and am in charge of supplies… wheeee!
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Comment from Liz @ Discovering Liz
Time: June 25, 2008, 9:04 am
So it’s not just me? I love the office supply store, too. I always want new pens and folders and notebooks, but how many pens does a person need? And I don’t think the church I work for would take too kindly to me overspending on office supplies.