June13
I would like to start out by saying that ya’ll are ON TOP OF THE YARD SALE ADVICE.
My only regret is that you aren’t here in real life to run it for us. Because, although I’m writing this an hour before the sale actually begins, I feel pretty certain that I will regret this day as long as I shall live.
When my alarm went off this morning, even Snuggles and Cuddles called me a fool. They were all “Dis is a bwad idea.” And I was all “Get up and at ‘em, puppies! We’re putting you in a box with a sign that says $1 / pet — you’re earning your keep today.”
What can I say? We work hard for the money.
To be truthful, yesterday wasn’t the first time I’ve thought about asking ya’ll for advice. Let’s be fair: the majority of this little bloggy’s readership is female w/ child(ren). And so, since you have experienced much more life than me, I usually end up thinking about how I wish I could ask your advice on a lot of different things.
Take yesterday afternoon for example. I ran by the grocery store to get some staples for the next few days: strawberries, peaches, popsicles and Sunny Delight.
Okay, I got a cookie, too.
(Cricket, cricket.)
A box of cookies. THERE. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
Anyway, even though I only needed a few things, I grabbed a single-girl cart. Does your grocery store have these? If not, you are really missing out. My grocery store suddenly started providing carts that are about half the size of a regular grocery cart. They’re perfect for the fun, single girl who is just shopping for herself.
Okay, I lied. I hate using the single-girl carts. This will not come as a surprise but HELLO I AM EXCITED ABOUT WHEN I WON’T EAT MY JELLO CUPS ALONE AT NIGHT. What can I say? Imaginary Boyfriend just isn’t into Jello that much.
Anyway, I think the reason that I don’t like using the single-girl cart is because I’m secretly jealous of the mom and kid carts being pushed down all the aisles around me. I don’t know what it is, but for some reason, I can’t WAIT until the day I get to load my own kidlet(s) into a grocery cart and start cruising down the milk aisle.
In fact, I kind of have a fantasy about it: I’ll pull my three year old girl out of her car seat and load her into the mom and kid cart. We’ll go into the store where I’ll start in the produce section. I’ll squeeze the grapefruits (are you supposed to squeeze a grapefruit?) and put some fresh green beans in a bag (also: how do you actually cook green beans?). We’ll head down the cookie and cracker aisle, while My Adorable Kidlet says things like “Mommy, why are there no whale shaped animal crackers?”
Up and down the aisles we’ll go, just enjoying our time together. She’ll ask me if we can bake cookies together later and I’ll buy break and bake cookie dough (this may be a fantasy of mine, but we’ve got to have some reality in here somewhere). As we approach the register at the front of the store, I’ll sigh because I have just experienced a wonderful time in the grocery store with a kidlet in my cart.
Now. Here is the problem with this fantasy.
One day, Melanie posted about taking her daughter grocery shopping with her and it being a bit, um, difficult. I left a comment saying how I couldn’t wait to have the whole kid-and-me-in-a-grocery-store experience one day and, suddenly, her readers went crazy! They were all “Oh Amy Beth, you are so sadly misguided” and “I’m very concerned for sweet Amy Beth. Life is full of many disappointments and this is going to be a big one.”
And so now, every single time I go to the grocery store for more Sunny Delight, I’m left with a bittersweet taste in my mouth. On one hand, I can still see myself pushing Fantasy Kidlet down the aisle. But, on the other hand, all these mothers must know something I don’t.
And so, tell me: do I have any chance of my fantasy coming true or am I destined for a lifetime of yelling “I WILL PULL THIS CART OVER RIGHT NOW AND WE WILL PUT BACK THE SUNNY DELIGHT IF YOU DON’T STOP IT.”
Oh, I kid. I’d just put back the animal crackers. Mommy’s got to have her Sunny D.