“If you are wise, you’ll listen to me.”
Enough of the sappy posts; let’s discuss something I find terrifying:
I’ve had good ‘ol Willy on my mind this week because, when I took MacKenzie into the candy store this past weekend, the theme song to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was playing softly in the background.
Naturally, I told her to HURRY THE CANDY SELECTING PROCESS UP, WEE CHILD.
I can’t really put my finger on why WW scares me so much, but if you ever want to get me screaming, sneak up behind me and start humming that ri-darn-diculous Oompa Loompa song into my ear. If you need suggestions on how best to do this process, I can refer you to an ex-boyfriend of mine who had it perfected (hence the “ex” in the title ex-boyfriend).
I’m aware that a lot of people feel that the movie is a classic, a staple of a good childhood. I, however, am prepared to counter that argument with the help of my friend, List Format:
1. Remember the scene when the wee children licked the walls? Um, hello? That is weird.
2. Not only does one of the wee children seemingly drown in a chocolate river, but another is sent down a garbage chute for crying out loud. And don’t even get me started about Mike, the kidlet who was shrunk even smaller than one of those horrid Loompas.
3. And then there’s Willy himself. How do I start describing the trizillion ways he gives me the willies? Those beady little eyes of his following you no matter where you sit in the living room during your slumber party. Not that I ever had that experience or anything. Obvs.
4. Last, but certainly not least, there are the Oompa Loompas. I don’t even know where to begin. There is nothing — NOTHING — positive about the OL’s. They’re freakishly scary, but I’ve got even scarier news for you thanks to my stellar research skills: all those OL’s you see prancing around in their choreographed little dances? Yeah, that’s just ONE actor (except for a couple of small scenes in the movie when they had to have extras to make some of the stunts work correctly).
I could list at least 87 more reasons why this movie should be banned from public consumption but, to be honest, I’ve got That Horrible Song in my head and must now go listen to Michael W. Smith’s “Friends Are Friends Forever” in order to undo the damage I’m currently enduring.
Posted: July 10th, 2008 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 32
Comments
Comment from Vicky
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:56 am
It’s the boat scene that freaks me out…
One time in college, I came home to an empty apartment. Except all the lights were on. And quite a bit of the furniture was turned upside down. Oh, and the BOAT SCENE of WW was playing on the television. I had some creative roommates who apparently spent some time scheming while I was slaving away at the daycare center.
Comment from Bethany
Time: July 10, 2008, 1:35 am
I echo your heebiejeebies at WW. I can’t stand the movie. It creeps me out. Bleh.
Comment from Michelle
Time: July 10, 2008, 2:03 am
I have to say that I loved the book as a child, I clearly remember my teacher reading it to us, and using my own imagination to picture it all in my head. This was fabulous as everything was just rivers of chocolate and fun.
I think that making it into a movie takes away from the book in a huge way. Every child has seen it but very few have read the book and used their own imagination to create the scenes in their mind, kind of like every other book now days I guess.
When in doubt just focus on the chocolate, it should pull you through the horrible moments.
Comment from Cheri (the Mom Lady)
Time: July 10, 2008, 2:10 am
My daughter (now 30) claims the NEW one with Johnny Depp can’t hold a candle to the original. I’ve never seen the original because it seemed the most weird premise for a movie almost ever! I almost watched the JD one though – ’cause I like Johnny Depp! 
How about “It’s a Small World Afterall”? That one plugs into my psyche and will not let loose. Cute ride but ENOUGH ALREADY!!
And if you ever listen to a Gymoree Play and Music CD, you’ll find any of the circle songs guaranteed to drive you nuts and it plays and replays through your brain.
Comment from Linds
Time: July 10, 2008, 7:44 am
I so agree! What about the scene where there going through the tunnel on that crazy boat?! All the crazy creepy pictures that show on the wall. Eek!
Comment from Shanda
Time: July 10, 2008, 8:54 am
I would encourage you to never ever in a million years watch the Johnny Depp. In my humble opinion, it is 10X the creepy.
Comment from Shanda
Time: July 10, 2008, 8:55 am
Jphnny Depp version, that is. Johnny Depp himself is quite enjoyable in many other movies. Just not this one.
Comment from Kim Heinecke
Time: July 10, 2008, 9:26 am
I’ve got to admit, I love the old one. LOVE IT. And I can sing nearly every song word for word. No, sorry everyone, I’m not available for parties…
Comment from Molly
Time: July 10, 2008, 9:29 am
Back in the winter months of 1993 my little hometown was struck by a blizzard. And not being prepared, the only movie we had in the house was Willy Wonka. My brothers and I watched it EVERY DAY for three weeks. Now, I cannot bear to even look at the cover of the movie. It’s too scary!!
Comment from debbie d.
Time: July 10, 2008, 9:48 am
I concur with Vicky and Linda, “It’s the boat scene that freaks me out… ”
The Oompa Loompas though are just little people saved by WW…who happen to where a bit of make-up and what girl doesn’t like make-up.
and you MUST embrace what WW says at the beginning (I’m paraphrasing…), “surprises around every corner but nothing that can really hurt you…”
I do like the old WW, the new one seemed kind of creepy…
but if we’re going to talk creepy, how about the mean guy who kidnaps children in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang…now there’s scary…
Comment from Lauren
Time: July 10, 2008, 10:32 am
The old one’s ok…but not great and the new one is horrid. When that movie came out, it was the first time I ever saw (or heard of) Johnny Depp. BAD first impression to me. I don’t see what every one (especially girls) likes about him. Orlando Bloom (LOTR or Pirates) or Gerard Butler (Phantom of the Opera) will always be my actors of choice in movies.
Comment from Kelly @ Love Well
Time: July 10, 2008, 10:46 am
I read the book in grade school. But I never saw the movie.
Until two weekends ago … (cue ominous music) … when Disney had a Willy Wonka weekend. They showed BOTH versions of the movie back-to-back. It was … awful! Creepy and weird.
I could chalk the first one up to the 70s, because really, almost everything they made in that decade is like a bad acid trip.
But today? I kept waiting for Johnny Depp to say, “Of course, I have a huge supply of marijuana in my office. That explains EVERYTHING!”
Comment from Honor Annekins Harris
Time: July 10, 2008, 11:19 am
I always wanted lickable wallpaper in my room.
Comment from Leigh
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:02 pm
I’ve always loved that movie, but I am rethinking that movie after reading this. Come to think of it, there are some really bizarre things in that WW. The 2nd movie remake is way more disturbing. Read the review for it, but don’t go see it. It was horrible!!
Comment from Natalie Witcher
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:09 pm
I like the new one. It’s the old one that’s weird. Charlie is a little goobery kid and that millipede in the boat is na-sty
Comment from Dawn
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:22 pm
I like both of them!
Comment from Liz (Discovering Liz)
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:54 pm
That movie has always creeped me out, too! It’s weird from the very beginning of the movie.
Comment from Jenn @ Casa de Castro
Time: July 10, 2008, 1:04 pm
*turns head*
Must. look. away.
(Willy and his oddness scare me senseless!)
Comment from Traci
Time: July 10, 2008, 1:18 pm
Me too! And I thought it was just me!! The movie scares the poop out of me! 
I really dislike the bubble gum girl – freaky!
Glad to see I am not alone …
Comment from Ronnica
Time: July 10, 2008, 1:18 pm
Haha. I feel that way about Princess Bride! I aboslutely, positively, will not watch that movie!
Comment from Tami
Time: July 10, 2008, 3:25 pm
Sorry AB, I *heart* WW. You want to talk about terrifying. Lets talk about the Child-Catcher, kidnappin’ freak in Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang. EGADS!!!!!!!!!
Comment from Erin
Time: July 10, 2008, 7:12 pm
I have never found anyone else who is scared to death by Willy Wonka. I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one! I absolutely hate it.
You have just made my day.
Comment from Kelli
Time: July 10, 2008, 7:14 pm
Isn’t odd how movies made for children can sometimes be the ones that give us the HEEBIES the most???
Don’t even get me started on ET……
Comment from Beth
Time: July 10, 2008, 11:37 pm
The new version with Johnny Depp is WAAYYY creepier. He really freaked me out in that one. The old version isn’t so bad. I even cry at the end.
Comment from Michelle Dierker
Time: July 11, 2008, 7:53 am
i’m a strange mix. i enjoy the movie, for the memories. but can’t say that i would willingly choose to pop it in on my own.
the boat scene, to this day, makes me shrink in my seat & cover my eyes. it’s WW himself that gives me the heebie jeebies. creepy, creepy man.
Comment from Michelle Dierker
Time: July 11, 2008, 7:55 am
p.s.
have you ever read, “Do You Think I’m Beautiful?” by Angela Thomas? I just finished it this week (& it broke my heart with truth & joy) & her writing style reminds me so much of you. I thought, “AB could have written this book.” You should consider that path someday if God ever leads you down it. I would buy your book instantly.
Comment from Rachelle
Time: July 11, 2008, 10:33 am
willy wonka is a little creepy- especially when they are boating or driving, whatever they are doing, through that weird tunnel- I seriously had nightmares about that.
Comment from Traci Anne
Time: July 11, 2008, 3:10 pm
I LOVE the Johnny Depp one, but that’s because I’m all about The Johnny and Tim Burton and bright colors. I can’t watch “Labyrinth” though. Or look at David Bowie with any other look except “wary/slightly terrified.”
Comment from Gayle
Time: July 11, 2008, 6:32 pm
Ok, I have to admit two things.
1. I REALLY hated that first one with Gene Wilder. Hated it.
2. BUT I really like the one with J.D. Totally redeemed the whole blasted thing in my opinion!
Man, I’m hungry.
Comment from SB
Time: July 14, 2008, 8:55 am
Remember when we would sing the Oompa Loompa song to you in A-E? And remember that one fateful trip to JCPenney? Oh, good memories.
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Comment from Christy
Time: July 10, 2008, 12:49 am
I thought I was the only weird one (well according to family and friends)…I ummm strongly dislike (read hate) that movie…
And the fact that they remade it a few years ago just creeps me out…I could never look at Johnny Depp the same way after that movie poster…