FYI, I’m available for your next dinner party.
Good morning, darlings.
You must have been awfully good over the weekend, because today you’re getting a treat! Your favorite domestic diva, Amy Beth, will now be teaching you how to make a rather complex yet exquisite dish.
Name: Toast
Ingredients: bread
Appliances Needed: toaster, sink with cold running water
Begin by placing the slice of bread (two pieces, if you’re REALLY hungry!) in the toaster. Then, press the “toast” button. Next, go into the other room and become entranced by some strange show on tv.
Within a few moments, you should begin to smell something that will remind you of bread buring. Don’t be alarmed — there’s no reason that could be happening so quickly. Continue watching tv.
Soon, you will hear your smoke detector go off. At this point, you should break into a brisk run towards the kitchen area. You will note that your bread is on fire. Using tongs, transfer the flaming bread to your kitchen sink. Immediately turn on the cold water and completely douse the bread.
Observe:
Now it’s time to enjoy your culinary delight!
P.S. – I only did this to give you a good life lesson. It isn’t like I don’t know how to cook toast.
P.P.S. – You’re welcome.
it happens to the best of us.
Too funny, AB! Too funny!
You’re definitely…permanently…invited to my place for dinner. I’m being quite serious. I’ll show you how to cook…well!
When I first saw the photo, I thought it was teabags and we were having iced tea!
I’ve offered up MANY “burnt offerings” for my family in the past. It’s just annoying when (a) it’s the last two pieces of bread in the house or (b) your husband says, “Don’t throw that out! I’LL eat it” in front of a bunch of people, leading them to believe that I serve this caliber of fare all the time!
I think we need to send you a new toaster as a house warming gift when you move to your new place.
toast is over-rated anyway
You make me laugh, A.B.!
Nothin’ better than burnt toast to start off your day!
Can only get better from here.
Right?
My cousin would love that! When we were kids, he’d REQUEST his toast be burned to a crisp. Then he’d hold it over the sink and scrape the black part off with a knife. He’d butter it up and eat it, and he thought that was HEAVEN! And Sarah is right. Toast is over-rated.
So… this has to be a toaster oven, not a pop-up toaster, right??
Hopefully you got a good laugh out of this…it seems like you might need that right now. =)
I think my favorite part is that you smelled the burnt toast and thought there is no way that could be happening….. that is SO something I would do. But then again I also put pop-tarts in the microwave with the metal wrapper on still at a very young age… my poor husband!
haha oh gosh. I’m constantly burning popcorn. ALL THE TIME. And there is even a “popcorn” button my microwave!
You should check out Wasa crispbread. It’s like toast that never needs to be toasted.
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[...] taken and was blown away by your response. I told you about a secret fear of mine and gave you a much-needed cooking lesson. I gave you the first hint that major changes were coming my way before finally giving you the [...]