Dear Amy Beth of six years ago,

Today you start your first day of college! You’ve spent the last few days setting up your dorm room and it looks so cute, girl! I hate to break it to you, but you’ll be moving to another room in just a few weeks after you realize that it just isn’t going to work out between you and that first roommate of yours. So don’t spend too much time arranging your desk just so.

I know you’re nervous about your first class this morning, especially about who you’ll sit by. It feels like you’re back in kindergarten, doesn’t it? Don’t worry about it too much, because you’ll pick a random seat on the third row over and a certain boy will pick the seat right behind you. You’ll never know he exists that semester as he picks the seat behind you every single morning but you’ll definitely notice him when he asks you to be his girlfriend many months later after you two have finally connected. You’ll break up, not speak to each other for a couple of years and then date again as soon as you finish your masters degree before breaking up yet again.

That’s right! You’re getting your masters later on! I know that probably seems unbelievable to you, but here’s something you really won’t believe: you’re going to get it in ministry! I see you recoiling in horror, but hear me out darling: your dream of working for a major corporation as their PR agent isn’t going to happen. But I’ve got good news, too: by the time you dive head first into a little something called Starlite, you’ll forget that you used to claim you would never do ministry.

What’s Starlite? Well, there’s a few things I’m just going to let you figure out on your own. But if I could offer one little tip from six years in the future, I’d encourage you to strongly limit any interactions with processed nacho cheese. You’ll be seeing an awful lot of it in your future, babe.

For goodness sakes, go to class. And, as much as it will cramp your style, be on time. However, when you and Cara Maggie are walking towards the door of that horrible law class your senior year while talking about how you’d rather go to Cracker Barrel, just go ahead and leave. You’ll remember that morning spent laughing over pancakes more than anything you would have learned in class that day, even though the teacher will take a few points off your final grade for missing. You’re getting a B, anyway.

Go to the formal with that boy and wear the black dress you found as the department store was closing. Stay up all night watching movies with your roommate, but refuse to study past midnight. Buy the real dishes when you get your first apartment and use them when you make Bagel Bites.

Don’t go home that Thanksgiving; you’ll just drive back to campus in tears. Eat a salad or two in the Dining Hall ’cause those grilled cheese sandwiches aren’t as great as you think they are. Go slower on the library stairs so you won’t be as embarrassed when you fall down two flights of them.

But most of all, take heart — you’re going to make it. Now, off to class, you!

Love,

Yourself