Comment from Bethany@MyLifeinBlack&White
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:49 am

Just to offer a ray of hope… Several weeks ago, the ladies in my church threw a baby shower for a 17-year-old unwed mom-to-be whose parents are members, but she’s not that involved. I watched those loving ladies ooh and ahh over her baby things, ask her questions about her little girl on the way and show her God’s love unreservedly. Of course, there’s a huge sense of family in our smaller church. Maybe the folks in your large church weren’t sure what to do or what to say.

Baby is a tangible example of God’s overwhelming grace and blessing.

Comment from Tonggu Momma
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:52 am

As an adoptive momma, I agree with everything you’ve said. I also hope and pray that one day the church will also come alongside these mothers and help to support them should they choose to parent their children rather than relinquish them.

Adoption should be about making the right choice for the first mother and the child, not a last resort because the first mother lacks the financial and other resources to parent her child.

Comment from Kira
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:53 am

AB this really touched me. I totally understand you on all this. There was a girl in my church that got pregnant and we threw a shower for her and only 9 women in our church showed up including my mom, sister and me, plus her soon to be mother in law. So needless to say, that church didnt’ care about here baby either. I hope you and Roomie know that I and others love you both and we welcome this new amazing little boy into the world.

Comment from Alicia
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:56 am

This needs to be spoken from a pulpit somewhere……..
My heart is breaking for both of you right now, and for countless others who have been in this situation. I pray that sweet baby boy never feels he is less than others because people are so quick to judge. And, I pray and BELIEVE that God will send Roomie a Prince Charming who will love her and that boy like he is his own. And God is going to send you a Prince Charming, too, Amy Beth. I don’t think I have ever encountered someone as giving and selfless as you. I know you don’t want or expect the accolades, but please know God is using you in a mighty way, outside of Starlite.

Comment from Ronnica
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:57 am

This is a very provocative post. I KNOW it is not enough to spout off theology and political nonsense, even if it’s the right theology and political nonsense. I have to get involved in these lives.

I’m thankful that I belong to a church that encourages us to get messy. That’s what it is when we get involved in each other’s lives: messy. I know that I don’t do that as well as I should, and our church is by no means perfect, but I’m seeking to grow in this area as are many with whom I am walking.

Thank you.

Comment from lauren
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:58 am

I’ve been reading your website for the past couple of months and have been touched by your story, your ministry and the inspiring way you and Roomie are handling this situation. I am so proud of both of you and I pray that you find those people to reach out. Even if they’re not in person, there are many Christian women who are thankful that she gave this baby a chance and pray that God use him to show His love to the world and to your church community!

Comment from the girl @ love God, not money
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:00 pm

I have often, often thought about what would happen if I were to get pregnant. My boyfriend and I love Jesus and want to wait until marriage to have sex, but we’ve stumbled here and there in dark moments, never getting that far, but getting awfully close. I honestly don’t know what would happen if we went to our church and told anyone that I was pregnant. While I pray that never happens, I just don’t know what I would do, because I feel like I would be ostracized - not actively, but passively.

About 23 years ago, my mom was a 21-year-old girl who did more than she should have with her fiance, and so she walked down the aisle at her wedding pregnant, facing the judgment of her friends and families. Because even though she thought about having an abortion, she decided not to, and so she had me. And God has richly redeemed her story.

My heart breaks with yours, Amy Beth, over the judgment that comes from the church upon unwed mothers, as though our private sins are somehow less grievous to God. I hope and pray that Roomie and Baby and you are able to evidence the grace of God to the people at your church, because God can use that to turn hearts toward repentance.

Comment from Kim
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:01 pm

Such honest and heartfelt truth!
It is ashame that unwed mothers are given such a cold shoulder
The double standard is atrocious
We have to stop acting as if we in the church are sin free and so much better than everyone else
When we act that way no one feels welcome and they feel as if they could never live up to “our Christian” standards
We also need to realize that the only opinion that really matters is the one God has of us
He says we are FORGIVEN, HOLY, And REDEEMED
Thank you Lord !

Comment from cathy davis
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:02 pm

Oh honey, I’m sorry.

That’s all I got - I’m a little choked up.

Agape~
Cathy

(If I was closer, I’d so be there!)

Comment from Michelle D.
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:07 pm

this brought me to tears AB. i’ve always felt the same way about christians who will fight tooth & nail about abortion and then ignore or even condemn unwed mothers. that doesn’t add up to godliness for me. it is possible that the people in your church are just uncomfortable and don’t know what to say. my old roommate from Lee actually goes to the same church that I think you do and just had a baby out of wedlock this summer. She was raised in that church and as difficult as I think it was for her to appear at church when she was pregnant, I think a lot of that has faded since her little boy was born. She just recently had him dedicated and now all of the ladies ooh & aww over him at service. something about babies changes things…which although sad, i think also is a source of comfort. babies are precious and inviting, and once they’ve arrived i think they serve to bridge the gap of what may have once been awkward situation. Something similar happened here on Guam at my church. One of my youth girls became pregnant last year at 17. She just had little Myah Jade in August and you would think the world revolves around that little girl. Her mom can’t walk into a room and hold onto her for more than 5 minutes before someone whisks little Myah away (although, I’ll admit- it’s usually me. But we all just adore her- and can’t imagine life before her. I’ll be praying that although the beginnings of your story and your experience with the community in your church may have been negative or awkward, that the Lord begins to plant a deep impression in the hearts of those in your congregation to reach out and love on the three of you.

And as a sidenote, I’ll actually be in Cleveland the week after Thanksgiving and have gathered a few things I’d like to give you for baby. Although I would LOVE to see him (I go ballistic for babies) I understand that Roomie will need to REST- and that, well- she doesn’t really know me. So if it’s possible for me to drop it by the Starlite office, that would be great! I’ve always wanted to stop by there and see the new place, I’ve never been inside.

I hope you are getting as much rest as is humanly possible with all the new changes in your little world. You’re being thought of and prayed for daily!

Much Love,
Michelle

Comment from Lisa @ put-it-on-the-list
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:14 pm

This is a topic I’ve thought a lot about. My husband and I sort of dared each other to get engaged — and found out 10 days later that I was pregnant. I don’t know if I would have gone through with the engagement if I’d known about the pregnancy. I really wasn’t following God at that point in my life, but I certainly feel that He was protecting me anyway.

Would I have had an abortion? I hope not, but I can’t say; I wasn’t in that situation. I’m glad that I’ve been happily married for 19 years to a wonderful husband and father, but honestly, I stumbled into that marriage at a too-young age. I refused to think too much about whether I should call off the wedding. I just went through with it. I knew I loved him, and I knew he adored me.

In the case of Roomie and Baby, I know that God can redeem anything, any story. I pray that her precious baby melts the hearts of those around you and that they come to you (even belatedly) and offer you the love they have withheld so far. And I pray you and Roomie can accept it.

I’d like to think my seeker oriented church, which is used to dealing with messy situations, would have gathered around you in love, but maybe not. Alicia is right; this needs to be spoken from pulpits everywhere.

I’m so sorry for what you have both been through. Thanks for checking our hearts. Again.

Comment from mandy
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:15 pm

This IS a beautiful post. I’ve been where roomie was…making those decisions. I chose the other decision. I didn’t know God. I didn’t have morals. I didn’t know…

Remember that We, Us, Bloggers, are also the Capital C Church. We have all reached out. We love you. We love Roomie. We love that baby too.

I’m sure you’ll be lavished in amazing prayer in THIS community.

Comment from Marie
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:15 pm

When I was a foster mom of new borns, I used to feel so bad for them because they never got the sweet new gifts, or the cards to have in a scrap book and they never got people just begging to hold them…..even in our church….and when we adopted some of these babies I always felt bad that people chose to miss out on this very important part of this child’s life…they missed out on the opportunity to make this child feel wanted….

Comment from ran
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:16 pm

Beautiful thoughts! And you are right - we the church still struggle with judging, before we understand the situation. As an older woman, and a minister’s wife, I can tell you it is better than it was when I was your age, 30 years ago, but we still have a long way to go, to really love our brethren. Sin is a part of our life, and that beautiful little boy is a consequence of sin, but do we shun his mom because of sin? God has forgiven! Do we shun others caught in sin? Not nearly as much……why not?

When my DIL got pregnant while dating my son, I can tell you it was a painful time, but we loved her, and made her part of our family. I think she might have had it a little easier than some, because we were so accepting.

And when I think of that beautiful grand daughter of mine, who could have easily been aborted, had her mom made that choice…..my heart jumps into my throat and stops beating!

Comment from Melissa
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:28 pm

How wonderfully spoken (written)! I’ve wondered myself what I would have done in that situation. It’s easy to say you would never think of an abortion, but until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes . . . Thank you for helping Roomie walk this path. Thank you for speaking honestly about how we, as Christians, need to bear one anothers burdens.

Comment from Shara
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:32 pm

Well said, Amy Beth. I don’t think it could stated any clearer than that! Thank you for loving your friend and for doing what you are doing. What a blessing and a picture of Christ!

Comment from Nate
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:33 pm

Great post Amy Beth! These are the times when the unwed mothers and babies need the most support.

Comment from Brittany
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:35 pm

This child was born under less that ideal circumstances. So was Jesus. Rahab was set aside for her choices and God used her in a mighty way. I don’t mean anything blasphemous. I’m just saying circumstances have never stopped God. God doesn’t use us when we’re without mistakes. He uses us despite of our mistakes. If Roomie just keeps laying it all at His feet, He will bring wonderful things from it. Thank you both for doing the hard thing and the right thing. You’re in my prayers.

Comment from Andrea@Under Grace & Over Coffee
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:39 pm

I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are being Jesus to Roomie. You are loving, accepting, and coming along side of her exactly when she needs it. Jesus IS proud of you, sweetie. I pray that the support and encouragement you gals will need in the coming months will surround you and that there will be people in your church who will heed that call. Bless you both.

Comment from Amanda
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:42 pm

I subscribe to your blog on Reader, so I don’t very often comment, I just keep up. I appreciate how you speak the truth and just keep it real in the day-to-days of being a Christian. I was especially touched by this post, by your powerful and truthful words on not only the difficulty of making the right choice in a hard situation, but also our responsibilities as Christians and the church. You said it sister! Thanks so much for all you do!

Comment from Ashley
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:49 pm

Powerful.

I have ready your blog from beginning to end in the past month and can relate to so much you say. This convicted my heart. Thank you.

Comment from Tamara
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:53 pm

Amy Beth, this is my favorite thing that you’ve written. My husband & I attended a Christian adoption workshop a few years ago, and they said that Christians can’t protest abortion unless they step up to the plate and support adoptions and unwed mothers. We hope to adopt next year, and it’s very frustrating to hear of women who’ve had abortions or who haven’t cared for the children they have. And yet, my heart aches for those women who are pregnant when they didn’t want to be, and hurting because the church has turned its back on them. Thank you for loving your roomie…for being “the church” to her. Thank you for loving that little boy into life. And thank you for showing us God’s redeeming love.

Comment from Stephanie
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:54 pm

Wow, what a beautiful and gut-wrenchingly honest post. I was that twenty year old Christian girl who made the wrong decision. On October 4, 1996, the day after holding my newborn nephew, I, the Christian day care worker, had an abortion.

I got married in 2000 and miscarried shortly after. I now dread the question….common since I’m 32….do you have any children. Yes, two, whom I’ve never met, but I know that I know await me in Heaven.

I usually begin to cringe at the first sign that a post will be about abortion. The condemnation and judgememnt can’t compare to what I’ve done to myself over the past twelve years, but it hurts just the same.

This post made me think, yes, if only. I certainly don’t blame the church for my decision, and yet as I’ve played those moments out over and over in my head innumberable times. Thinking of all the ways I could have done it differently. Pressure or no pressure, snuck out of the clinic and walked home if I had to……I think knowing that the many Christians (not in my own family, I went to church alone) who I knew might actually support me, I think that would have helped.

Man I’ve rambled.

Thank you, that’s all. For ‘roomie’ and for me and the millions like me.

Comment from Jessica
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:54 pm

This was just beautiful and sad at the same time. I hate that the ministers at your church have not come to reach out to her. I hate that people look at her and judge her for a mistake that many of us have made but only a few have had to endure the consequence of being an unwed mother. She made an awesome, admiral choice to keep this precious baby. God will bless her for letting that little boy live! God will bless you for reaching out to her and being the hands of Jesus and loving on her! I pray His arms would wrap both of you tightly as you begin this journey… as Roomie begins this journey. It will not be easy and as a mother to 2 small girls, I know that there will be a lot of days that she wishes she had her old life back b/c it is so difficult. But, at the end of the day, when you see that precious angel sleeping and feel His presence, it is all worth it! I can’t wait to see what God has in store for this sweet baby boy!

Comment from Erin
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:56 pm

Thanks so much for this reminder, Amy Beth. The Lord’s been working on my heart just in the past week, and I’m realizing that I need to do more than just fight legislation that promotes abortion. I need to get in the trenches instead of hiding out in the church pew.

Give that precious baby boy and his mama a hug for me! You’re all in my prayers this week as you make the transition to a house of 3.

Comment from Brandy T.
Time: November 12, 2008, 12:59 pm

Thank you so much for this post! I am behind your sentiments ONE. HUNDRED. PERCENT.

Lou Engle says that, before the spirit of abortion is squelched in this country, the church must first gain a spirit of adoption - to prepare the way for all the would-be aborted children.

Thank you thank you thank you for reminding us to continue praying - both for the ending of abortion and for the beginning of a renewed heart in Christ’s bride.

Comment from Krissie
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:10 pm

Excellent post, the most honest, real, and God honoring post that I have read in a long time. I think that Roomie is glorifying God in so many ways right now. I say this as a female who has been in ministry, and still has a heart for ministry, and is also just as human, and made just as crappy of mistakes. The choices that she has made since all of this happened say far more about who she is, the kind of strength, courage, and love for God that she has, than any poor choice she made previously. God can and does redeem, and He still has incredible ministry plans for Roomie.

Comment from Racer
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:30 pm

With tears falling, I say, “Amen.”

Comment from Wendi
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:32 pm

Wow. I feel a mixture of speechlessness, awe, and excitement. This was an amazing post. It was a perspective that isn’t often explored.

I have volunteered at a crisis pregnancy center for about a year and a half. The excitement I feel is becuase through this post I know I will be able to better meet the needs of the women I come in contact with there.

God bless you. Your words are and will touch many!

Comment from Nichele Lynn
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:32 pm

Oh, AB, this is one powerful post. I felt with you as I read each word. I have been following this blog for quite some time, and have become very found of it. I love that you open your heart just as this post shows. Thank you for this Word!

Comment from Katie
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:48 pm

Thank you for sharing this. It is SO true - Christians fervently fight for abortion to be illegal, but are currently doing NOTHING in the way of supporting the outcomes of not having an abortion for those who are already choosing to not have one. Seems to be a bit hypocritical and quite a double standard, and it angers me! But more than that, it hurts my heart. I love the support you have given ‘roomie’ during this time, and I am right behind you if you ever need anything.

Comment from Linda
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:57 pm

Amy Beth,
This touched me so much that I read it to my husband. I need to email you, to share another private story, and this person might can help you. She was raised in Cleveland and I’ve been wondering if her parents attend the same church. (they are aged parents with many health issues so not sure how often they attend)
You might be 23 years old, but you have more wisdom, love and grace than most older adults that I know. You have walked this rough road and not only showed grace and love, but you GAVE it back. That’s what God does when he forgives us of our sins, and how HE so longs for us to give to others.
I’ll try to track down your email address, but if you don’t hear from me soon, please send it to me.
I can only imagine what Roomie is going through, but tell her to hold her head high. God WILL walk beside her each step of the way! He is already walking with you.

Comment from Deidre
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:57 pm

Very well said!

Comment from Jenn @ Casa de Castro
Time: November 12, 2008, 1:58 pm

I saw your Twitter about this post, and now I’ve read every single comment. Not one person expressed an angry word. That warms my heart and gives me hope.

You, AB, are the living, breathing example of being Jesus to another. Your church (and many others) would do well to follow your example. Unfortunately, churches are filled with imperfect people who often make mistakes, but we serve and worship a perfect God Who can and will use a life yielded to Him, no matter how many times that life strays from His path. He will honor Roomie’s choice and yours, and I just know He will unite the three of you as a little family and pour out His blessings upon you.

Love and prayers from Texas.

Comment from Judy S.
Time: November 12, 2008, 2:13 pm

Ministry is messy. But that’s what is real. Thanks for the challenge for me to make sure I do no “shunning”.

Thanks for being real. Thanks fro you love for Roomie and the new little life. NO BABY IS A MISTAKE.

Comment from trs
Time: November 12, 2008, 2:16 pm

What a well thought out and well written post. I felt this same frustration at the hubbub over Sarah Palin’s daughter - saying it’s hypocritical for someone who supports abstinence education to have a pregnant, unwed daughter. Like an abortion would be more acceptable? They just want to deny the reality.

The church still has a long way to go to reach out to it’s members who are not married with families…. it seems that is all they understand.

We had a speaker at church last Sunday - appealing for donations and he ended it with “Go home and discuss it with your spouse.” Yeah… like everyone has a spouse. That’s just ignorant.

Are you in a position to discuss this with your minister - to encourage him to prepare a homily about supporting one another.
He could say - We all hate abortion, but do we support the woman who in unfortunate circumstances - goes through with the pregnancy? Is THIS church strong enough to love the sinner? I know someone who is. Someone who opened her home and her tiny wallet to love love love a woman and her baby. Someone who sees the incredible blessing of a child that was NOT aborted just because he was inconvenient.
They are here among you. Do you judge this young mother for her mistakes? Or do you love her for her strength, for her committment to God. For her trust in God to provide in time that many young women might have decided it’s all too difficult to face.

If you hate abortion, but also judge the woman who has a baby in difficult circumstances - how are you acting as Christ?

I know it would be difficult for you and Roomie to sit in church and know that they are talking about you - but imagine the good that could come from it!

Maybe old Judgy-Eyes who eyeballs the two of you during service would see himself - and change his heart.

Comment from trs
Time: November 12, 2008, 2:22 pm

I also wanted to comment on your point - that many a Christian woman has resorted to abortion. Knowing their community would judge her actions regarding pregnancy - that somehow abortion seemed to be the better alternative.
What does that say about the Christians among these women!

I slept with my college boyfriend. And one month I was REALLY late. I sat there (not praying) but thinking about what I might do if I were pregnant. I was shocked to learn that the thought - “I’d have to get rid of it.” entered my head. Only for 15 seconds - but it got in there!
Me. A child who was saved through adoption! Could I not be as strong and brave as my birth mother? THe horror.

I was in a minor car accident soon after - and my period was jolted out of me - although from the looks of it, I wondered if it was a spontaneous miscarriage. I’ll never know.
Sorry if that visual was too much information.

Comment from taryn in ny
Time: November 12, 2008, 2:35 pm

i love you amy beth. you are such an inspiration.

Comment from Jennifer
Time: November 12, 2008, 2:40 pm

Oh Amy Beth, this is so moving. Thank you for your words. I’m going to link to this post so the 5 people who read my blog can read this too.

Comment from Erika
Time: November 12, 2008, 2:48 pm

This is an incredible post. I wish more people had this viewpoint. Praying for all three of you.

Comment from Christy
Time: November 12, 2008, 3:01 pm

Oh AB. You put words to what I feel in my heart. As Christians we stink at the most important thing: LOVE. We are so judgmental and unforgiving and I get discouraged so easily with the church. That is why I am loving the blogging community. I may not “know” many bloggers in the sense that I know those around me but we LOVE one another. I pray that you and Roomie and that baby boy know how much you’re LOVED by many of us even if we have never met face to face.

Prayers ascending for all three of you.

**HUGS**

Comment from Abby
Time: November 12, 2008, 3:06 pm

May we never forget the contrast between the Pharisees and Jesus. We love Roomie and your beautiful heart. Baby is SUCH a gift.

Comment from Honour Annekins Harris
Time: November 12, 2008, 3:07 pm

Woah, chills. I’m glad to see this post got as many comments as the one about the birth right after you posted it.

Comment from Christine
Time: November 12, 2008, 3:12 pm

The angels are applauding Amy Beth. What you have said is absolutely 112% true! God bless you for wanting to to better understand your friend and the situation she found herself in. God bless you for doing what the Bible tells us to do and act with the compassion and the selflessness that Jesus calls to when we choose to follow Him. Roomie and Baby Boy are beyond blessed to have you in their life. God has such a beautiful plan at work here. It’s a delight to watch it unfold. Blessings to each one of you!

Comment from Kristen Schiffman
Time: November 12, 2008, 3:35 pm

This is such truth. My best friend had a baby outside of marriage three years ago — she belongs to a wonderful God fearing family who WANTED HER TO HAVE AN ABORTION!!! It was only she and I who said, “No. That is not the way to go here.” If I hadn’t been in her corner, I don’t know who she would’ve turned to. I honestly don’t. Everyone around her faded away…

The Church needs to wake up and realize that “picketing” to these women is not the way to get the voice of God heard in this matter. It is through outreach, forgiveness, hope, restoration — these are the ways to see this thing happen in our lifetime.

Let me tell you, for all of my friend’s tears and brokenness — she has a three year old son, Michael, who shines. He shines with the love that Christ wanted him to have. I look at him and KNOW Christ’s blessing rests upon his shoulders. As does His blessing rest on Roomie and her son.

Comment from Denise
Time: November 12, 2008, 3:48 pm

Amy Beth, I’m so sorry you have felt that your church has neglected you. It was my understanding that you did not want visitors. Also, I would suspect that none of the church staff even knows about the birth because we all thought you wanted to maintain your privacy. Pastor and Debbie have been very open with their story and would be very supportive if they were aware of the situation. Take care. We love you.

Comment from Natalie @ I AM (not)
Time: November 12, 2008, 3:49 pm

Well said. Very well said. I praise GOd for that little baby and for you and for roomie. Much reward will come from this.
You do realize that you are helping the fatherless and the “widow” That right there is the stuff of Jesus.

Comment from wanda
Time: November 12, 2008, 4:02 pm

GRANDSLAM!! That was excellent! Thank you for pointing out the truth about our behavior. So often we think we are doing our part in church….but loving the one’s who are down and in the midst of chaos….we sometimes end up kicking.

This is a great example….as well as divorce. We are the worst at kicking a dog when they’re down.

Comment from Jennifer M.
Time: November 12, 2008, 4:20 pm

Amy Beth, I have to agree 100% with Denise. I have actually spent the day debating on how to respond to your post.

I love you and Roomie very much. You know that I am 100% behind you and only want the best for you, Roomie and the beautiful baby boy that has stolen your hearts.

I KNOW that our church staff has not “chosen” to neglect you. In fact, I too would say that it is probably the result of privacy that no one has been to visit.
If I had felt that it was my place to inform them of the birth of the baby, I would have done so, but I was trying to protect Roomie’s privacy.

The staff at our church has always been (and will always be) a staff that loves and reaches out to everyone. This is a case were the only explanation is just a simple lack of information.

Comment from Anonymouse
Time: November 12, 2008, 5:12 pm

This is a message that needs to be spoken over and over and over. From an almost-mom to a baby being born to a teenager from my church, I thank you for your heart - not just for these babies - but for their courageous moms.

Comment from Krista
Time: November 12, 2008, 6:03 pm

Oh amy beth you are so precious! It is truly so hard to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and really say “there but for the grace of God go I”. I know. I can look at my life and say that in all honesty.
I am involved with a local pregnancy center, but not as much as I wish I could be. You also just reminded me of something I heard once… about a high school teacher saying that he would rather raise a student’s baby himself than have her abort it. And I believe he did end up with at least one baby. I must discuss this with my husband. He’s a high school teacher and the students all love him…

Comment from chickadee
Time: November 12, 2008, 6:37 pm

beautifully written post and so true. i know that we have to get more involved, actively take a role so that these girls WILL have other options.

Comment from Sandy
Time: November 12, 2008, 6:56 pm

It’s been said that women don’t choose abortions the same way they choose which flavor ice cream cone they want or what kind of car they’d like to drive. They choose abortion the same way an animal chooses to chew it’s own leg off to get out of a trap. The church needs to take seriously the scripture that says true and undefiled religion is taking care of orphans and widows. Thank you for posting this.

Comment from Bethany
Time: November 12, 2008, 7:07 pm

Not enough people realize that in the world we live in, having a baby outside of marriage really is a choice. And it is one of the hardest choices a Christian woman - no matter what age - has to make. To CHOOSE life when the world tells her otherwise and the judgement of Christians around her reinforce it.

Comment from Lydia
Time: November 12, 2008, 7:57 pm

Wow. What a beautiful post, Amy Beth. And isn’t that what we all desire at the end of the day…to be wanted?

Praying God’s blessings on you, Roomie and sweet baby.
Love,
Lydia

Comment from Marla Taviano
Time: November 12, 2008, 8:06 pm

Wow, Amy Beth. This post was Spirit-inspired. I wish I had time to read all the comments right now.

Wow.

My hubby’s mama was 18 and in high school when she got pregnant with him. PRAISE THE LORD she didn’t abort him like people told her to.

Loving you and Roomie! And praying about the possibility of adopting a little one someday.

Comment from Mocha with Linda
Time: November 12, 2008, 9:15 pm

What a wonderfully honest and desperately needed word. It is far to easy for Christians to judge and point fingers instead of love. “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” Why can’t we remember that?

I’m reminded of a quote I read somewhere from a John Piper book of a single mom who needed food and she was asked if she had gone to a church for help. Her response was “Why would I go there? I already feel bad enough about myself.”

Thanks for stepping up to the plate and letting your walk match your talk.

Comment from Chatty Kelly
Time: November 12, 2008, 10:31 pm

Amen & amen.

If you haven’t read this post: http://jesslovesjesus.com/2008/11/03/one-at-a-time/
you should. She echos your sentiments in another tangible storyline.

God bless roomie & baby. (and you).

Comment from amydeanne
Time: November 12, 2008, 10:45 pm

i think we often forget that becoming christian doesn’t turn us into super humans and that we have the weaknesses everyone else does.. it’s how we choose to deal with them makes us okay.. as I go through my life and remember and continue to watch how “Christians” react to these situations that i’ve either gone through or see.. my heart cries out.. thanks for showing your “roomie” love… real love.
i wish more of us Christian woman would do so instead of “hatin on each other” for or mistakes.

Comment from Laura
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:08 pm

Thanks for the post and speaking truth!!

Comment from Kelli
Time: November 12, 2008, 11:59 pm

AB this post was so beautifully written. Our family is huge advocates and volunteers for the PHC in our community. These single moms, like Roomie who keep their babies are my heroes. I am so proud of Roomie and pray for her to be so confident in her decision now that she has met that sweet baby boy. We most definitely need to have a bigger heart for adoption in this country. Thank you for reminding me to pray DAILY for this need.

Comment from Kerri
Time: November 13, 2008, 1:24 am

This is such a great post!

I don’t understand one thing, however. You mention that there needs to be a “spirit of adoption.” Do you mean, in a sense, “adopting” and supporting these single moms who have chosen life? I agree, and appreciate what you have done in supporting your friend.

But you couldn’t possibly mean that there are not enough couples waiting and willing to adopt a baby? If so, I wonder at that! I do remember hearing a couple of women who were struggling with infertility who were not open to adoption, at least at a certain point in their struggle, but I thought they were an exception and not the norm.

I am very shocked if that has been your experience.

Comment from Rebecca
Time: November 13, 2008, 9:00 am

What a spot-on post!! You are so right - Christian women are having abortions all the time for so many reaons - none of which are right - but Satan has a way of working on EVERYONE - especially those trying to stay close to God.

Thank you for being open & honest & brave enough to admit your emotions on this…. it has truly touched me.

Comment from Fran
Time: November 13, 2008, 10:11 am

Oh AB….this is just so powerful and so beautiful. Bless you for sharing your heart here. I’m praying for the 3 of you this morning.

Big hugs~
Fran

Comment from mandy
Time: November 13, 2008, 11:08 am

To the church folks whom have commented:

Respecting someone’s privacy has nothing to do with loving them.

If people are avoiding shaking hands with an unwed, pregnant girl & her friend at church…that goes beyond respecting privacy. That’s a heart issue. And I believe it comes from leadership in the church.

Comment from debbie d.
Time: November 13, 2008, 11:19 am

amen.

Comment from Stephanie
Time: November 13, 2008, 11:43 am

My heart pours out to both you and to Roomie.

One of my close friends ended up getting pregnant a few years after college. When she finally called to tell me (about 2 months before the baby was due) she asked if I was disapointed in her. I told her that I loved her, and while I thought that she should have made some better decisions, that a baby is a gift from God. I could NEVER be disapointed that she was going to have a baby. Things may not have been exactly how she wanted or planned, but God’s plans are better than ours.

I hope you and Roomie enjoy your new little baby boy. Treasure each and every moment!

*BTW: I was also going to link my friend Jess’s blog at jesslovesjesus.com, but I see someone else already did.

Know that if I went to your church, I would be there with open arms each Sunday welcoming both you and Roomie. And would gladly snuggle that baby for you, but I am sure he is getting plenty of love!

Comment from Faith
Time: November 14, 2008, 12:48 pm

Thank you.

As a 27 year old daughter of an unmarried out-of-wed-lock pregnancy mom, I am also SO glad that Roomie did not have an abortion. My mom’s first instinct as the daughter of 2 pastors–yes TWO–was to head straight to the health department and “fix” the issue. Thankfully, someone who went to my mom’s church at the time worked there–she had no idea. I still think of Julie as an angel in disguise although we get Christmas letters from her family every year, so I know she’s real. God does have a purpose for everything and thanks for letting us in on a little bit of it of Roomie’s and the new little angels’.
I agree wholeheartedly that we as the Church must be ready to embrace the reality of what will happen if the number of abortions are reduced–we MUST start being the church. I’m so thankful my mom had people who were and I’m so glad that YOU are being that for Roomie. What a great example you are to us all.

Comment from anna
Time: November 14, 2008, 4:39 pm

What amazing revelation! This is the heart of God.

Comment from Michelle
Time: November 15, 2008, 6:32 pm

That was one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in a really long time!

Comment from elaine
Time: November 16, 2008, 12:14 am

Thank you for this post. Kristen sent me over here; glad she did. Please thank your roomie for giving this new life “room to breathe.” My heart is greatly burdened for women who are abruptly living the results of poor decisions. And while I have never been faced with an unplanned pregnancy, I have had many occasion to live the consequences of my poor decisions. Over and over again.

My thoughts have been heavily weighted toward the abortion issue post election; I’ve been wandering around in my pain over the concept of how the “unborn” will likely have less rights with the new administration. That being said, I felt God profoundly calling me to get involved at some level. I called the local pregnancy center in our area and now how my “volunteer packet” to peruse and fill out. I don’t have much $ to offer the center, but I have some time.

Not a perfect solution, but it’s a start. A way to put some feet to my convictions. Anyway, thanks for this post. I am offering a prayer on behalf of this mother and child tonight.

peace~elaine

Comment from Rachelle
Time: November 16, 2008, 11:50 pm

as Jesus loving people, we do need to reach out to those in need, I’m fortunate to belong to a church full of people who love unconditionally and are more than willing to reach out to lost, confused, hurting and lonely people. I feel very strongly for the right of an unborn child to live, but I also feel that I must be willing to help, to give of my time and recourses to those precious babies and girls who, though they felt scared, and alone, made the tremendous choice for life.

Comment from Kelly @ Love Well
Time: November 17, 2008, 12:08 am

I haven’t commented on this post, AB, because it’s so deeply moving to me. The fact that a church wouldn’t reach out in love to one who has made such a hard choice is deeply burdensome to me. It should not be so.

You’ve spoken a TON of truth here. A ton. I pray the seeds you’ve scattered here will bear fruit.

Comment from Megan@SortaCrunchy
Time: November 17, 2008, 10:13 am

I’m here via Kelly at Love Well and I just wanted to say YES, YES, YES!!!! Amazing, powerful, profound truth. Thank you.

Comment from Calista
Time: November 23, 2008, 6:20 pm

I have not been to the sight in a while due to everyday busyness. I am glad I came back. This is one of the BEST posts I have EVUH read. If I may have your permission I would like to print this and share it with others. This is VERY thought provoking and TRUE!! I lurve you!

Comment from Robin ~ Pensieve
Time: November 24, 2008, 6:05 pm

Amy Beth,

I hear your heart speaking…and I’m blessed by your message and passion.

We have GOT to meet for coffee…soon :).

xo

Comment from Leslie
Time: November 26, 2008, 12:01 am

that was beautiful….thanks for such honest words