Here’s to another great year that hopefully brings the realization of holiday dreams for some of us, if not all!

Prescription for Christmas Pain – by Ellie Shumaker, LCSW

The trouble with Christmas is that it is no longer celebrated as a solemn, joyful, God-centered *holy* day. It is now celebrated as a frantic, jolly, people-centered *holi*day. At Christmas we no longer stand in awe before a simple manger and ponder the gift of the Christ child. Instead, we stand in anxiety before a decorated tree and ponder the family — or lack thereof — that surrounds us.

And the minute we do that, we are in trouble. If we are looking at God, we are seeing wholeness and perfect love. If we are looking at ourselves and our fellow human beings, we are seeing brokenness and the effects of sin.

Over the years, in my own life and in the lives of my counseling clients, I have seen the sad, even tragic, impact such a holiday focus can have on us. Christmas now operates as a giant magnifying glass that intensifies whatever family problem we’re experiencing. Whether a parent’s unkindness or neglect, a child’s illness or rebellion, a sister’s indifference or rejection, a spouse’s addiction or betrayal – whatever the pain, the sting is sharper at Christmas. And as for family members who are missing or have never been there at all – the beloved mother who is dead and gone, the prayed-for child who never came to be, the brother in combat who may never return, the longed-for Dad who ran out years before – whatever the grief, it is deeper at Christmas.

But thanks be to God, there is a prescription for this modern Christmas agony, a prescription that comes to us from the actual originator of Christmas, the Great Physician Himself. The very child whose birth we are honoring grew to be a man, and this man — this Jesus — speaks clearly and directly to this very dilemma. What he says about our human family over and over and over again, is this: It *isn’t* first. He says that when it comes to your worth, your purpose, your well-being, when it comes to your past, your present, your future — what truly matters is not your siblings, not your spouse, not your parents, not your children. Instead, what matters is this: your Ever-Present Brother, your Beloved Spouse, your Heavenly Parent, and the very Divine Child who came into the world just for you, who came to invite you into His forever and ever Family and to bring you at last to His forever and ever Home.

*JESUS SAYS FAMILY ISN’T FIRST*
As Seen in All Four Gospels

Brother Will Betray Brother, and… — Matthew 10:21
“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.”

Not Family Peace But A Sword – Matthew 10:34-36
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace on the earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law – a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.”

Love Jesus More – Matthew 10: 37
“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me…”

Who Is Your Father? – Matthew 11:9
“This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven…’ ”

Who Are Jesus” Mother and Brothers? — Matthew 12:46-50
While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.”
He replied, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

Without Honor… – Matthew 13:53-58
Coming to his hometown, he began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. “Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?” they asked. “Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t his mother’s name Mary, and aren’t his brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? Aren’t all his sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?” And they took offense at him.
But Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown and in his own house is a prophet without honor.”
And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

Marriage in Heaven? — Matthew 22:30
“At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; for they will be like the angels in heaven.”

Only Among His Relatives…– Mark 6: 1-6
Jesus left there and went to his hometown, accompanied by his disciples. When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.
“Where did this man get these things?’ they asked. “What’s this wisdom that has been given him, that he even does miracles! Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him.
Jesus said to them, “Only in his hometown, among his relatives and in his own house is a prophet without honor.” He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith.

Leaving Home and Family — Mark 10:29-30
“I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age…and in the age to come, eternal life.”

When the Dead Rise — Mark 12: 25
“When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; for they will be like the angels in heaven.”

Family Treatment — Mark 13:12
“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death.”

“Didn’t You Know…?” –Luke 2:41-50
After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem …they began looking for him among their relatives and friends… When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem … When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”
“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he was saying to them.

Jesus Rejected in His Hometown – Luke 4:23-24
….Jesus said to them, “Surely you will quote this proverb to me: ‘Physician, heal yourself! Do here in your hometown what we have heard that you did in Capernaum .’”
“I tell you the truth,” he continued, “no prophet is accepted in his hometown.”

His Mother and Brothers — Luke 8:19-21
Now Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.”
He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.”

Your Father – Luke 11:2
“When you pray, say: “ ‘Father, hallowed be your name…” ’

Better Than Being His Mother — Luke 11:27-28
As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you.”
He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear God’s word and obey it.”

Don’t Get Too Attached To Your Family – Luke 14:26
“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.”

Leaving Family for the Sake of the Kingdom of God – Luke 18:29-30
“I tell you the truth,” Jesus said to the, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.”

God’s Children – Luke 20:34-36
Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in that age and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die. For they are like the angels. They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection.”

Betrayed by Family – Luke 21:16
“You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death.”

Children of God — John 1:1, 12, 13
In the beginning was the Word…To all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God – children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

Be Born Again! – John 3: 5-6
“I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again…Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.”

Wish I knew you in “real life”-
Katrina

Praying next year is the year for both of us.

Hugs, Lyndy