Practice what you preach.
It was 8:59 a.m. two years ago when I darted into the classroom, hurrying to find a spot on the back row while the prof began talking. I had only been in grad school one semester, but it was long enough to realize one very important thing: I was the youngest student in the program by far, not to mention one of only a few girls in this particular class. As Professor Harper began going over the schedule for the day, I realized that I had forgotten something, too: the assignment due that day.
The class was Creative Teaching & Preaching, a title that still makes me laugh as I’ve never had any intention to “preach.” Our assignment for that day was to present a short “creative sermon” of our choosing, though the material had to be original and aimed at people who worked in ministry. It was easy to understand how I could have forgotten — on top of being a full time grad student, I was working two part-time jobs and trying to run Starlite at the same time (I hadn’t gone on salary for Starlite at this point yet). I had simply let the ball slip — and I was scheduled to present right after lunch.
As soon as we were released for our hour lunch break, I hurried over to the Starlite office to come up with a plan. This, of course, didn’t work as I had barely made it through the door before the girl answering the phones handed me a message that just couldn’t wait. Nearly 50 minutes later, I hung up the phone and realized that not only did I not have a sermon, but I also didn’t have any lunch.
I ran into our kitchen and, with a silent prayer, threw open the fridge to grab something to eat in the car on my way back to the university. That’s when I discovered that, sometime in the very recent past, our fridge had become unplugged from the wall and everything inside had spoiled. I stood there just staring in unbelief when it suddenly hit me.
Into my oversized purse went the molded cheese, old eggs and soured milk. I found some mayonnaise that was now unusable and some leftover soup, too. On my way out the door, I grabbed two empty bowls and rushed out to my car with a reminder to the office volunteers to text me if they needed me yelled over my shoulder.
My classmates had just settled in when Professor Harper called me to the front of the room. Up I went, lugging my whale of a purse in one hand and the bowls in the other. Then, without saying anything, I sat the two bowls in front of me and poured a bottle of clear water into the first bowl.
“This,” I said, as I carefully placed both hands in the bowl filled with clear water, “represents what I thought ministering would be like before I began actually doing it. Sure, you have to get your hands wet, but it’s almost refreshing and certainly transparent — nothing to scare you away.”
Sure that I was making an absolute fool of myself, I pulled my hands out and slowly dried them on the side of my jeans before holding up the other bowl before the class to show it was empty. With a nervous glance towards the professor, I placed the bowl before me and pulled the first surprise from my purse — the leftover soup.
“What I’ve found instead,” I began, as I poured the soup into the bowl, “is that ministry is actually quite messy, especially when you’re working with girls like the ones I’ve been privileged to serve. You see, there’s a lot that goes into it that I just didn’t expect.”
With every set of eyes in the room on me, I pulled the mayonnaise from my purse. “Take verbal abuse for example,” I said as I unceremoniously dumped it into the bowl. “I know a few girls who can still tell you where they were standing when their mother first told them how fat they had become.”
The cheese came out of my purse next and easily crumpled into the bowl. “Or emotional abuse like the girl who once told me about the kids on the school bus who had played a daily game of musical seats always leaving her left sitting alone.”
I reached for a couple of eggs next, taking a deep breath before I began. “You can’t forget physical abuse, of course. I wish you could meet the girl who told me how her brother used to tie her to a chair and throw paper airplanes at her.” I took the eggs and simultaneously cracked them before dropping their contents into the bowl. “It doesn’t really sound like physical abuse until you hear that he put needles from his diabetic mother’s supply in them before sending them flying into her skin.”
The class was silent as I pulled the last thing from my bag, the half empty container of soured milk.
“And then there’s this,” I said as I unscrewed the lid and placed it aside. “Possibly the worst kind of abuse, the one we talk about the least but should be screaming about from the rooftops: sexual abuse.”
I poured the milk into the bowl slowly, watching my classmates’ faces as the smell of the bowl hit them, so overpowering that the boy sitting to my left actually gagged. “Perhaps it’s the one we hear least about since we were never actually in that bed with her, Barbie themed sheets pulled over our head in a desperate attempt to block his hands.”
I could hear them crying, especially the girls who knew all too well what that bed felt like.
“People tell me all the time that they wish they could do what I do, start a ministry for girls. I wonder if they would still feel that way if they saw what it’s really been like for me. It’s been about putting my hands into lives where some of the messes left behind don’t feel very nice or smell very good. It’s been about blood and sweat and tears and an awful lot of other things that sometimes leave me standing in a hot shower at night, crying for the girl I met earlier that day before turning the water a bit hotter when I think of the girls yet to have been met crying in their own showers that night as they try to wash it all away. And when I finally step out of the shower and crawl into bed, I do so knowing that I’ll wake up the next day with an opportunity to once again get my hands dirty.”
With tears rolling down my face, I placed my hands in the bowl, cupping the mess in my hands.
“This… this is what being in ministry has been like for me.”
Today, on my very first real day back at work this year, I had the opportunity to put my hands in the bowl once again. I’ve seen a lot of ugly things over the last six years of Starlite, but none of it could come close to what waited for me when I ran up to the back door of that house today, mere minutes after I got the call. Before I could even grab the doorknob, I saw what had happened through the small glass window and thought I might pass out.
Instead I went inside, fell to my knees in front of her and started getting my hands dirty — literally, not just figuratively. It would be several long hours before I’d get into my own car and head towards home, absolutely exhausted as I walked into my living room and collapsed on the couch. And that’s where I was laying tonight when it suddenly hit me.
I’m getting the chance to once again practice what I preach.
Visit Kelly’s Korner for more ways to find ministry.
Posted: January 5th, 2009 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 50
Comments
Comment from Kristen Schiffman
Time: January 5, 2009, 11:42 pm
There are no words. Only the promise of a powerful, able God…
Comment from Donna @ Way More Homemade
Time: January 5, 2009, 11:50 pm
OH AB, you are so mightily used by God in the lives of these girls. I know it has to be hard, and clearly messy. Bless you.
Comment from Kim
Time: January 5, 2009, 11:54 pm
Hugging you and her in my heart.
Comment from jmom
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:00 am
Oh, AB! I love this illustration but am so sorry for the pain today. So glad she has you!
Comment from taryn in NY
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:09 am
girl, i am crying!
we need more amy beths in this world! i’ve said it before and i know i will say it again.
keeping “her” in my prayers and you always~
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Comment from Jennifer M.
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:12 am
amazing, amazing, amazing illustration. i’m sure your classmates still remember it to this day… i know i won’t forget it.
you have a calling placed on you… and it’s not an easy one.
thank you for being faithful.
Comment from Beth
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:18 am
Thank you God for using AmyBeth to do your work. And thank you AB for being there today for the one who needed you.
Comment from trs
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:22 am
I’m wiping away tears.
Girl, if that’s what you come with on a moments notice – I am 100% assured that you are the best person on the planet to minister to young girls, young ladies, young women – and probably millions of other people too!
I hope you got an A.
I’m sorry for what happened today. You both will be in my prayers.
Comment from Fran
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:24 am
This is beautiful. Its ugly. Its raw. Its your ministry. I’m so stinkin proud of you AB. You inspire me so much. God is so beautifully at work through you. I’m praying for you tonight.
Praying rest for you so you can get up and do it again.
So much love….
Fran
Comment from Tre Lawrence
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:26 am
Very, very humbling. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from Tiffany-Z
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:29 am
Wow…really, no words to describe…
Comment from Theresa
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:34 am
Words can not express how much my heart is crying for you and “her”.Though not abused myself, a few of my siblings were. I have seen the pain and anguish they have been through and know that only GOD can take away the pain, I am pretty sure HE used you today, and many other days to make someones life more bearable and for that I thank you for all you do for those girls. You are in my prayers girl!!! THank you for being a blessing to us that don’t “know ” you. You are truly being used of God.
Comment from Jenn @ Casa de Castro
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:55 am
AB, you are the embodiment of what Jesus said in Matthew 25:
“Then the King will say to those on His right, `Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. `For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ “Then the righteous will answer Him, `Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? `When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ “The King will answer and say to them, `Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
Bless you. Praying for you as you continue to minister and for the girl who today was the “least of them.”
Comment from Jenna
Time: January 6, 2009, 1:11 am
Girl. I’m speechless.
Comment from Krista
Time: January 6, 2009, 1:15 am
This is when you can know that God has a purpose for you. That He IS using you right where you are no matter how you feel on days that are horrible (like whiny and self-pitying). That you have allowed HIM to use you in this way is incredible. Never forget that!
Comment from Vicky
Time: January 6, 2009, 1:30 am
Amy Beth,
This is the 3rd post I have read TONIGHT about taking risks and being courageous. About being willing to step out in faith and do the impossible, disregarding the potential “consequences”, simply because that is what God has called us to do. (I’d say God’s trying to say something to me…)
Thank you for being willing to get your hands dirty for Jesus. And thank you for sharing that rotteness with all of us, so that we can be challenged to take the same risks. Thank you for the love you give each of the girls you serve, for always being on-call when they need the love of Jesus shown to them through you. Thank you for putting your heart on the line to help Jesus heal the hearts of these girls. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Your last-minute sermon story is forever imprinted on my mind. May we never forget that Jesus came to get His hands dirty, and if we want to be like Christ, we’d better be willing to do the same.
Praying for you and this girl. May the peace and comfort of Jesus wash over both of you tonight.
Vicky
Comment from Stefanie
Time: January 6, 2009, 1:42 am
Wow. You are such an amazing person AB.
Comment from Vicky
Time: January 6, 2009, 4:58 am
I linked to this post… hope you don’t mind.
Comment from Junglewife
Time: January 6, 2009, 5:49 am
Amy Beth, You are an incredible woman. I am amazed at what our God is doing through you. Your illustration was spot-on, and I am just in awe that knowing all that, you are still willing to step in and get your hands dirty. What a humbling experience, and the embodiment of Christ to those you are serving. Thank you for being a willing servant, and an inspiration to me and so many others.
Comment from Kristy Ford
Time: January 6, 2009, 8:29 am
You were made amazing by an amazing God. I am so thankful that you were there, when so many wouldn’t have been. I don’t know that I would have been brave enough, I hope I would, but I just don’t know. I am praying for you and your “girls”.
Comment from Becky Jo
Time: January 6, 2009, 9:07 am
Oooooohhhh, words … there are none.
I was one of those girls – and what I would have given for YOU to be busting down my door.
We became foster parents – How many kids, after having to send them back, did I wish I could go bust down a few doors for myself.
Now, I look at my two sweet girls and wonder what life would have held if they had not been brought to us. If Hattie had been sent back… If Sophie had gone somewhere else …
Praise God for door bustin’ girls like you.
Girls like me, we need you!
Love you!!!
Comment from Kelley
Time: January 6, 2009, 11:00 am
That was mightly powerful! Wow….
Comment from Tamara
Time: January 6, 2009, 11:13 am
Wow, Amy Beth. Each day when I see your posts in my feed reader, I am reminded to pray for you. Now, even more so. You couldn’t dip your hands into that kind of ministry without a mighty God, holding it all together in his big bowl of grace. I’ll be praying that God will daily equip you with more and more of it!
Comment from Camilla
Time: January 6, 2009, 11:18 am
Amy Beth – you AMAZE me! I can’t tell you how many times I have looked at you and thought “if only I could do something that awesome.” I just wanted you to know that you are doing what lots of people only wish they had the physical, emotional, and mental strength to do. Keep doing what God has called you to do. I know you are changing many, many lives.
Comment from Sara@MillerMoments
Time: January 6, 2009, 11:44 am
Tears.
Chills.
You have a GIFT…and you are using it to HIS GLORY.
God Bless you richly, girlfriend!!!
Comment from trixiefan
Time: January 6, 2009, 11:55 am
God is using you so mightily! Thank you for sharing with us. Prayers going up for you and “her” and all the others.
Comment from Amanda
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:10 pm
You can be so funny one minute, and so deep the next. I enjoy reading your blog so much. Most of the time, people are one or the other. Either Funny Or Deep. I am so glad to see someone who LIVES their ministry, with all its hardships, and still can find some things to smile and laugh about. Keep going, girl, keep going.
Comment from Amber
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:37 pm
Whew. I can barely even type because I’m crying so hard. You know, I just keep thinking one thing… you put ministry in words so perfectly. But imagine how big the dirty bowl is that Jesus works with everyday. And he is so beyond us, you know? He didn’t just put his hands in it, he jumped in… fully ready to live there, die there, just so I could get out and be clean. Now that’s my Jesus…
Thank you for sending me to the throne room this morning, Amy Beth.
Comment from Dr. Harper
Time: January 6, 2009, 12:54 pm
For all of those who might have wondered….she did get an “A” that day. All of us in the classroom were wiping the tears from our faces as they streamed down.
I didn’t realize there were only a few minutes of preparation for the delivery of the sermon…..but I would say the preparation had already been done months and weeks in advance. That is sort of the way God works.
We preach and teach every day of our lives…..not just when we stand behind the sacred desk. In fact, we probably do more preaching every day of our lives in the way we live, show love and treat others, than we will ever do from behind a pulpit.
AB, you have taken what life has given you and others and have figured out a way to make sweet lemonade out of sour lemons. You do have a special gift and I am so thankful you are giving yourself to God on behalf of these young ladies!
Don’t ever let life or circumstances keep you from your call…..
Pingback from Ministry So Fabulous! » I best not be tryin’ to steal His glory, hallelujah and amen.
Time: January 6, 2009, 1:51 pm
[...] almost said this at the end of last night’s post, but seeing as it was already as long as today’s to-do list, I decided to wait ’til [...]
Comment from Robyn
Time: January 6, 2009, 1:54 pm
I was one of those girls. I fit into one of your categories. I wish someone like you were around then.
Pretty rad that the professor commented, too. I’m personally loving the fact that he’s a reader of a pink polka dotted blog!
You and your ministry are in my prayers every day.
Comment from Kelli
Time: January 6, 2009, 1:58 pm
Lord thank you for being with AB as she helps everyone of those girls that comes into her life and office. Thank you for being there with your hands right beside hers and guiding them as she cleans up the messes that these girls should have never been put in. Praying for that sweet girl and asking God to heal her in whatever way her heart needs.
Comment from Mocha with Linda
Time: January 6, 2009, 2:39 pm
Wow.
This is incredible.
God is using you to bless so many. Thank you for being His hands.
Comment from Lindsay
Time: January 6, 2009, 2:54 pm
My friend Beth sent me an email with your link … and I immediately headed over here.
I’m wiping away tears – thanking you for your realness, and the amazing ability you have to share “life” with your readers & those in your life personally as well.
What I would have given to be sitting in that class.
Comment from Christy
Time: January 6, 2009, 3:02 pm
I don’t think I have ever read a more appropriate description of working in ministry AB, I deal with those you are talking about on a daily basis and there are times where I have to pray to our Father that my real emotions will not show, because all I really want to do is cry…and then get angry. But that is not my place and it is not about me, it is about them and their pain. My place is to love them and often times to get my hands dirty. My heart breaks for you and those you work with but I am thankful we have a Healer, and while scars may remain…His Love covers them.
Thank you for practicing what you preach Amy Beth because I know in my heart YOU are making a difference in a painful world. Know that I pray for you and your ministry daily…You do great things.
Comment from Tami
Time: January 6, 2009, 3:14 pm
This post made me love God more.
Comment from debbie d.
Time: January 6, 2009, 4:27 pm
Romans 12:19 “vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.”
but truth be told, I’d like a crack at him first…
Pingback from The one in which she ponders…. « Critty Joy
Time: January 6, 2009, 4:32 pm
[...] take time to read Amy Beth’s post today. [...]
Comment from Renee
Time: January 6, 2009, 6:23 pm
AB – I am speechless! Absolutely speechless. You and those precious blessings you serve are in my prayers!
Comment from Shelly W.
Time: January 6, 2009, 11:54 pm
Wow. Just wow.
Comment from Tracey
Time: January 7, 2009, 4:03 am
I wish I had the guts to do what you do. South Africa needs someone like you.. I know I did.
Comment from Nicole
Time: January 7, 2009, 11:28 am
Our family read this aloud last night. And we were moved.
Comment from Bethany@MyLifeinBlack&White
Time: January 7, 2009, 11:52 am
What a clear picture of what real ministry is like! Thanks for spurring us on to get our hands dirty!
Comment from Kelly @ Love Well
Time: January 13, 2009, 12:59 am
AB, I have been terrible at blog commenting lately. (I’ve been reading, but my life has lent me little time to write.) But this post? It will live with me FOREVER. What a powerful storyteller you are — and what a graphic (but ultimately beautiful) picture you painted that day. I can’t stop thinking about it.
May God continue to us your hands in the messes of this world. I’m so thankful He (and you) aren’t scared off by the stink we make.
Comment from Jennifer
Time: January 14, 2009, 11:57 am
This post changed me. I have posted a link to it on my blog, and I will be sharing it with our Mothers of Preschoolers steering team when we meet next week. As a pastor’s wife who has been in full time ministry for almost 7 years with her husband, this post is a vivid and challenging reminder of why we’re doing what we’re doing.
Preach on, sister!
Thanks for sharing this, it has impacted me, and others, more than you know.
Comment from Sarah@ Life in the Parsonage
Time: January 14, 2009, 8:50 pm
I’m obviously late getting here…but MAN O MAN you nailed it girlie. It is messy. And it does stink…a lot of the time. Praying tonight that He continues to fill your cup so you can keep pouring into those girls.
It’s worth it. It’s worth all of it. Your crowns in heaven, my friend, you’ll be casting them at His feel long after mine have run out 
Pingback from Ministry So Fabulous! » Daily Peek: What happens on the other days.
Time: January 26, 2009, 7:49 pm
[...] What you preach. [...]
Comment from Steph Lampman
Time: August 12, 2009, 4:51 pm
Wow Amy! This is quite the post! What a great illustration. People will to get their hands dirty is what these girls need.
Pingback from Ministry So Fabulous! » A party fit for our little prince…
Time: August 21, 2009, 9:18 am
[...] What you preach. [...]
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Comment from Leslie Ruth
Time: January 5, 2009, 11:41 pm
My wonderful, brave, courageous, vulnerable friend…”thank you for what you do” sounds positively insignificant. But I know to that girl you served today it is what her heart is whispering over and over and over again. As is your Heavenly Father…