Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a group of girls in their late teens and early twenties who found themselves single on Valentine’s Day. “Whatever shall we do?” they cried, frantic with worry. “We can’t just sit around the castle on this most special of holidays!”

And so, the fair maidens decided to take themselves on a date since all the young princes were, um, missing. They began their evening with a feast at the fanciest restaurant in town, Cafe Le McD’s where they dined on such delicacies as le nugget de chicken and fries a la French:

After this scrumptious banquet, they headed to the nearest large kingdom where they arrived at an old Catholic school now converted into a dance hall. Two of the maidens — Princess Cate and Princess Sarah — were so excited about dancing they couldn’t even wait for a prince to lead them onto the dance floor!

For three hours they danced, all seven girls finding partner after partner to twirl them around the room. “This may be the best night of my life!” they said with glee, passing each other as they perfected the waltz. They danced and danced and danced until they simply could not dance anymore, mainly because they stayed until the last song was played.

“We shall go for dessert,” they exclaimed, heading to a sweet little coffee shop in the nearby art district. And there they enjoyed éclairs and chocolate mousse and a slice of cheesecake or two!

There was even a bowl of fruit for the princess who is attempting to fit into a particular bridesmaid gown for a most royal of weddings happening in approximately 117 days, but really, who’s counting?

And furthermore, it’s not like that same princess would drink ice water out of a coffee cup just so she could look like the other princesses enjoying their cappuccinos and lattes?

No, I can’t imagine a girl that silly, either. Can you?