After finishing shopping for dating books and talking about how darling those Gap pajamas were this past weekend, Cousin Cate and I headed to Bass Pro Shop.

I’d just like to begin by saying that I wasn’t too thrilled about going but, seeing as I had never been and Cousin Cate was insistent that we go, I turned my frown upside down and pulled into the parking lot with very low expectations.  I mean, hello? Do I really come across as a girl who would enjoy visiting a random hunting and fishing store?

And yet, bless my darling heart, I’m here to tell you that I was WRONG to judge Bass Pro Shop.

From the moment we walked into the store, I was hooked (get it? fishing? hooked?).  If you’ve never been, they have this huge aquarium on the main level.  Surely by now y’all know how I feel about aquariums (and if you somehow don’t know, one of my top dreams in life is to be kissed while standing in front of an aquarium).

(And no, I have absolutely no idea why that dream is in my heart, but you better believe I’m waitin’ for the day I find myself there with some boy other than Imaginary Boyfriend.)

(Also, if it ever happens — nay, WHEN it happens — I will blog it for you.  You’re welcome.)

If a huge aquarium wasn’t enough, they actually have this area where you can walk over a short bridge that takes you past a waterfall.  Off Cousin Cate and I went, talking about how cool the store was while noticing that we were just about the only girls around.  We spotted some camo-themed recliners in the distance and, of course, settled ourselves in for a little chat.  During said chat, we discussed two very important things:

1. We will never have camo-themed recliners in our homes.  Ever.  Never ever. Ever, ever.  We actually know someone who has camo-themed couches, but their set is actually tasteful.  Which is, you know, a bit difficult to do with camo, so we’ve decided to never attempt it ourselves.

2. Bass Pro Shop would be an EXCELLENT place to get picked up by guys.  Cousin Cate suggested we start going there on Saturdays and just spend the day walking around the store until we get dates for the evening.  I told her we’re not that desperate.  Yet.

And yes, “yet” is the operative word in the paragraph above.

Also: we actually would like not only to be asked out on a date whilst walking around Bass Pro Shop but actually be taken on a date to Bass Pro Shop.  I mean, really — it has a restaurant, Starbucks and fake shooting range all under one roof.  What more could a girl ask for?

I’m happy to report that we had the foresight to whip out the camera and capture a little video footage for y’all.  This may be my favorite video of us together simply because, not long into it, we realize that they’re feeding the fish on the floor beneath us and COMPLETELY LOSE CONTROL OF OURSELVES.  We actually had no idea that you could feed the fish; an employee just happened to start doing it while we were filming the video and we just seriously LOST IT.

If you’ve ever wondered what I’m like in real life, you’re about to hear it for yourself when I go running for the elevator and almost throw myself into the pond containing catfish and a very attractive male mannequin.  It doesn’t take a lot to excite me, but when something like this happens, I just forget that I’m supposed to be 24 and revert back to age six or something.  I’m actually a little embarrassed to post this because, really, my level of excitement is just way too high for feeding some fish in a sporting goods store.

But then again, that might explain how we ended up leaving without dates.  Foiled yet again.

Also: the actual video footage is a little wild, but try to stick with it just for the audio of us realizing that they’re actually feeding the fish.  I promise you won’t leave disappointed, especially when you see the hot mannequin standing in the pond at the end.