Love and trust.
April15
Haven’t read The Shack yet, so I can’t say whether I agree with it or not but I did read a quote from it that I found interesting –
“You cannot produce trust just like you cannot “do” humility. It either is, or is not. Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved. Because you do not know that I love you, you cannot trust me.”
Agree? Disagree? I’m curious to know what you think.
I’ve been thinking about the fact that I “love” very easily… I’m talking friends, family, strangers, etc., not just romantic love. Giving love is easy for me. Giving trust is not. I expect to be let down or to have that trust violated.
I have not left a comment in a while, but I had to this time with a big yes. I totally agree. I am going through the trust/love/forgiveness triangle with a family member. I think this is a tough concept to understand when you are the one that is not trusted. I just can’t explain it to her any other way. I also think entitlement gets in the way of this understanding. Just because you are family does not mean you are entitled to trust.
You may have had your own purpose for putting this post up today, but God had a purpose in me reading it. I needed the clarification that my thoughts and feelings are justifiable and therefore He has a purpose for this journey He has me on. Thank you.
“The Shack” is an amazingly powerful book. I highly recommend reading it when you get the time, it was incredibly enlightening for me. Actually, I started and finished it on a flight from NC to TX
It was that good.
I agree with the quote and am grateful for the timely reminder. The last few months have been me exploring my relationship with my earthly father and how that has affected my relationship with my heavenly one. I don’t trust my dad because I am not confident that I am unconditionally loved by him. And yet, I know God loves me infinitely and that he is completely trustworthy. Until I rest in the knowledge of His love, the fruit of trust will be very hard to find. I’m working on that…
I agree.
We don’t trust God with our finances/family/future/etc. because we don’t TRULY believe He loves us the way He says He does – that He REALLY has our best in mind. God proves His love over and over and over again. We just don’t see it – or choose not to.
i feel ‘eh’ about the shack… mostly because i feel a little uneasy about putting words in God’s mouth.
that being said, i do think that reading it, and books like it, can help you think and question and ask God things, and look to His word for the answers. and i think that trust does come with love… but just like love, you can CHOOSE to trust even when you’re not sure. and trust also grows over time. but i do agree that often what we think is a trust problem is actually a love problem.
(it’s possible this comment made no sense… i haven’t had my coffee today! if that is the case, please ignore my ramblings everyone
)
I really enjoyed reading the shack and you should soooo read it. I have it if you would like to borrow it.. as far as the statement I totally agree with it you have to start with the basic building blocks and a foundation before you can build anything else.
I kid you not, I was just thinking about trusting God about a half hour ago. Trust is one of those things that you don’t know you have for someone until you need it. I’ve been going through a difficult pregnancy while working at a demanding job, so there have been a lot of disappointments in what I thought would be a special time. When going through disappointments, it’s easy to pull back from God just a bit. Or a lot. Last night I remembered the verse”He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust” (Psalm 91). I’ve felt God ask me if I still trust Him. The only way I’ve found to truly trust God is to truly believe that He loves me. But not the vague kind of love that we usually talk about. I need to believe that God loves me in a way that He wants the best for me and absolutely will not keep anything good from me. When I’m convinced of that, trust isn’t a problem.
I have read “The Shack” and I must say that I loved it. It really makes you think about things in a new light. It is one of those books that I will read over again. One thing to keep in mind is that it is a fiction book so everything we read (whether it is this book or any other) should be taken with a grain of salt. However, this book really made me think alot about my relationship with God and how he so desires an intimate relationship with his children. For that I am grateful. I really thing you would love it, Amy Beth because it really brings out a ton of great discussion points.
I have to tell you… That is just the beginnings of the depth of thought that book will provoke in you. Because I have a feeling you’ve been struggling with some of the same parent issues I have, you should really take the time to read this. It changed how I picture God in my life, from a stern, harsh, disciplinarian to a gracious, loving, investing parent. A parent like I desperately need as a “child” of God.
I’m not endorsing the book as theologically perfect, but I will say that it was never meant to be so. It’s fiction, meant to produce thought and reflection. And it did for me.
I am not a naturally trusting person…you have to work your way up my trust ladder. I must say that I have not yet read the book, although, it has been recommended that I do. Before I can trust you, I have to love you, and you have to love me, truly. That is the foundation of a relationship.
I think that it kind of depends what is meant by “trust.” I struggle with trusting God all the time, but there are different ways I can respond. I can wallow in fear and self-pity and doubt, or I can ask the Lord for more faith and then *act* in a trusting way.
For example: The other night my fiance and I were talking about our apartment arrangements for when we get back from our honeymoon. I didn’t really think his idea was great, and I was worried about the logistics, but he told me to trust him. Honestly, I wasn’t sure. But I shut my mouth and stopped saying things that showed I wasn’t trusting him. And in that, the Lord changed my heart so that I was better able to trust him.
I think it’s the same with the Lord. We don’t understand “perfect love” and so we live in fear. But we can pray for a better understanding of it, and then practice faith in such a way that we teach ourselves how big God is.
I hope that made sense.
I literally just finished reading “The Shack” last night and am still compiling my thoughts about it for a blog post. I almost want to read it through again, this time with a highlighter and sticky notes to grab quotes like this one. It is a work of fiction, but with that being kept in mind, I think it’s a great novel that encourages readers to reflect on their own relationship with God–the trust, love, sacrifice and leap of faith that we take every day to continue living our lives for Jesus. And I agree with the statement. With love comes trust. Without love, there is no trust–and I think without trust, there isn’t true love.
Can I encourage you to read this review before the book.
http://www.challies.com/archives/book-reviews/the-shack-by-william-p-young.php
I’m not for or against The Shack but I also struggle with having enough lies ingrained in my thinking and a wrong understanding about God and who He is. This is a fictional book that tries to convey a lot of what God is about and who He is, it needs to be read with discernment and an understanding of what the author got right and what he got wrong. It’s more about learning who God is not petering to a book that makes us feel better about God.
First of all, I think the part that says you can’t “do humility” is wrong. God’s Word instructs us to “humble yourselves,” or in a sense, “do humility.” It’s not a feeling; it’s a choice.
As for the other part, I think it’s a complicated relationship between trust and love. I do think that the knowledge of love must come before trust. But I also think that, just because you know somebody loves you doesn’t necessarily mean you can or should trust them.
As an example, an abusive husband may really and truly love his wife, and she may really and truly believe that he loves her. But that doesn’t mean he is worthy of her trust, and she would be a fool to think that he is.
So, with God, I think we must know that He loves us AND that He is, at His core, good.
I agree.
But I also learned something HUGE about trust a few years ago, which is — we shouldn’t trust people. We just shouldn’t. They aren’t trustworthy. Only God is trustworthy.
That doesn’t mean that we withdraw from people or that others don’t have a responsibility to follow through in word and actions with their promises and be as trustworthy as possible.
It just means I trust God WITH my husband — I trust what He’s doing in Corey’s life, I trust what He has for Corey and indirectly for me — more than I trust Corey himself.
I don’t know if I’m making any sense here; it’s a hard concept to communicate without voice inflections and hand motions, apparently. But it really changed the way I looked at trust.
I read the shack after a very wise counselor i was seeing suggested it to me. It def opened my eyes to alot of things that i had never thought about before. I do agree with the quote. There were times when it was hard for me to love God and to believe that he loved me and because of that it was hard for me to trust him. When i read that book i cried and cried and felt like i was the man that God was talking to. I think you should read it. You wont regret it.