Daily Peek: The burn.
Cousin Cate, Leslie Ruth and I had dinner at a Japanese restaurant tonight; sitting across from us was a guy named Jacob who has played in the band that has traveled with us for various Starlite events over the years. As we were eating our dinner, Cate mentioned the night Jacob took the microphone at a Starlite event we were hosting for a ton of middle school girls. I can’t believe I’ve never told you this story, since it’s one of the most significant things that’s ever happened at an event of ours. When we returned home from that weekend’s events, Jacob wrote a blog post about it; I’d like for you to hear the story in his own words (I’ve edited it for length):
“Fathers, be good to your daughters.
I spent the weekend playing music in Knoxville for the Starlite group again. This weekend was a little different though, at least for me. After the worship, the band walked backstage and sat down with a group of Starlite leaders. I sat behind one of Amy Beth’s friends who had her baby daughter with her. While Amy Beth was talking, I was making faces and waving at the little baby when God started an odd conversation with me.
He asked me “How are you going to treat your daughter; how are you going to show her you love her?” At this point Amy Beth started talking to the middle school girls about the father that may have never said “I love you” to them or may never have been there for their birthday or gotten her a little gift for Valentine’s Day. So I just started thinking about what I would do for my daughter for her birthday or Valentine’s Day or where I would take her on a Saturday when she wasn’t in school, just to spend time with her. I kind of went through a mental movie about watching my daughter grow up. Then God asked me something along the lines of “If you could say something to these little girls here, what would you tell them?” So I just started thinking about that until I decided what it would be that I would tell them; I pretty much spent the rest of the time Amy Beth was onstage thinking about it.
Then we came back up to play “The More I Seek You” and “Let it Rain” when Amy Beth came back onstage and pulled me aside for a second. She asked me if I could take the mic and speak to them “as a guy” and stand in for the dad may not have been there or a boyfriend who mistreated her and ask for their forgiveness; she said to say “whatever God laid on my heart.” Then I thought back to what I was dwelling on during the whole message. She gave me the mic and I walked to the front and was pretty much petrified all of a sudden (I know, it’s lame that I got scared in front of a bunch of middle school girls). I always feel like Moses with stammering lips when I have to speak in front of people, especially about God. I tried my best to say what I had been feeling earlier and I don’t know how it came out but here’s what I meant to say:
“God is all-powerful, and He knows everything. He doesn’t make mistakes. He didn’t make a mistake with you. God made you beautiful and perfect just the way you are. There may be people who want you to change; maybe a boyfriend or parent or a group of friends from school, but they’re wrong. Anyone who tries to change you is not good enough for you because you are God’s workmanship and He loves you more than you will ever know. On the behalf of every man who may have wronged you by what they said, or what they didn’t say; what they did, or did not do; or for when they may not have been there when you needed them the most…I ask for your forgiveness and that you forgive them too.”
I wish I had been able to say that. Even as I’m typing this, I don’t think I did what I felt backstage any justice. I just hope I got the point across to those girls because I felt like it may have been something they needed to hear, especially from a guy. Maybe I’ll understand what I was trying to say when I have a daughter of my own. All I know is that I’m always going to be there for her and tell her I love her everyday and do things to let her know it…even if it does embarrass her sometimes!”
I’ll never forget standing on the stage as Jacob spoke to the girls, watching them get out of their seats and just throw themselves down in the altar as they sobbed before God. In fact, before he could even finish, my assistant at the time came to the side of the stage and motioned for me to come over so she could whisper something to me –
“Amy Beth, we don’t have enough volunteers to pray with the girls; about three-fourths of the volunteers are in the altars themselves!”
As I stood there watching a mass of girls crying for fathers they never had, I was as sure of two things as I’ve ever been in my life:
Every little girl needs a daddy.
And every grown-up girl needs one, too.
Posted: April 17th, 2009 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 11
Comments
Comment from Chere
Time: April 17, 2009, 11:47 pm
As a grown-up girl who never got a chance to know her earthly father (he died when I was 6) what Jacob said blows me away. Thank you.
Comment from Amanda
Time: April 17, 2009, 11:48 pm
Amy Beth,
Once again… God has spoken through you and right into my heart. Tears are streaming down my face.
My earthly father has never been there for me. And I have felt unloved for so so very long. (Yes, I know that the Lord loves me even if no one else does but that doesn’t manage to help the ache in my heart) It’s such a long and hard story, as I’m sure yours is as well. My earthly father called me two days ago. I haven’t heard from him in years. How he got my number, I’m not sure. And I’m at such a loss for what to do. I answered the phone and spoke to him, mainly because I didn’t know that it was him and because I am incapable of doing anything other than “the right thing”. But my heart was breaking the whole time, with every wrong word he said. When I got off the phone with him he said, “I hope you know I love you.” And I so desperately wanted to tell him that NO, I don’t. That I don’t think he does love me. That when he said those words, they felt empty. That I don’t believe it. Because loving someone means that you do the exact opposite of everything that he’s done. It means that if you have hurt me, irrevocably, that you apologize or acknowledge that you’ve hurt me. It means that when you ask if I’ve been angry and I say I’ve been hurt… you don’t ignore that. You SAY SOMETHING. Not that you act as though you’ve done nothing wrong, ever. I’ve been let down by him so many times and hurt by him so many times… I don’t feel like I can do it anymore. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know what to do. I want to run away from his voice, his abuse, his nonsense. I want to scream at him at the top of my lungs. I want to cry and tell him of the damage he’s done; the damage both of my “parents” have done. I want to do something. Instead I will probably do my part as the daughter who says the right thing at all times. The only one who will put up with him, not because I think he’ll change. But because I’m not strong enough to.
Comment from cait
Time: April 18, 2009, 2:14 am
AMEN to that over and over again.
Comment from Happy Geek
Time: April 18, 2009, 8:26 am
I’m gonna go say thank-you to my dad and the Father who so graciously gave him to me, again.
I sometimes forget how precious a gift a good dad is.
Crying for all of you who need one.
Comment from Lindsey
Time: April 18, 2009, 9:19 am
Reading this made me even more grateful for the father that I have.
Thanks for sharing!
Comment from trs
Time: April 18, 2009, 12:52 pm
That’s really beautiful – and something I really needed to read today.
I am fortunate to have a wonderful, wise and loving daddy. Although he has never told me I was pretty or beautiful – that’s just not his style – but I know he loves me and has loved me every day of my life.
I needed to hear it from the other men in my life. Those I feel rejected by on an almost daily basis.
My friend said something profound this morning – that we need to look at men not as potential hurt (a common perspective from those of us single in our 30s ) but as brothers.
something to chew on
Comment from Erika
Time: April 18, 2009, 6:08 pm
Wow. So incredibly true. I grew up with a great dad….then he left when I was 22….and he really hasn’t been a dad since. It’s almost like my father died, if that makes any sense. I’ve realized since then, how important having a dad is. My little sister was 11 when he left and to watch what it did to her, was awful. The last couple lines got me. Thanks so much for sharing….I needed this today!
Comment from taryn in ny
Time: April 18, 2009, 10:27 pm
Wowser.
It has taken me a long long loooong time to forgive my Dad for all the times he wasn’t there, things he said wrong, things he did wrong, etc. Growing up I just wanted to please him and I just wanted to be “daddy’s girl”. Never was… never will be. I spent most of my 31 years so far thinking I had forgiven him but truthfully I was just making excuses for his poor judgment and alcoholism. As I type this today I have forgiven him however my heart can’t help but to wonder what being a daddy’s girl would be like.
XOXOXOXO
Comment from Amber
Time: April 18, 2009, 10:50 pm
yep… that last line is so true. it’s crazy how it messes with our heads when our dads are noticeably absent. we feel like we aren’t “enough” or maybe we’re “too much”… either way, we all need dads to model the love of our heavenly daddy.
Comment from Julia
Time: April 19, 2009, 5:29 pm
Oh my gosh!!! I remember and still talk about that night to this day!! That was amazing! I even went home and wrote a facebook note about it (and that was when I was anti-facebook notes) LOL (they were still pretty new). Not only did he speak powerfully to the girls, but to me as well. Every girl no matter what age she is needs to be told that she is beautiful by a Godly guy. 
Yay Jacob!! He is such a sweetheart!!
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Comment from Christy
Time: April 17, 2009, 11:47 pm
That last line got me. So, so true. I know I need one.
Beautiful thoughts from Jacob.
This is what I see so often with the girls I work with. They crave that Father figure in their lives. And when it is not found they search elsewhere, and some find God, and others find boyfriends and the like. Oh how it breaks my heart.
I am thankful there are fellows out there like Jacob…it gives me hope.