Please tell me this means I get to wear flowers in my hair.
Normally on a Monday morning I’d tell you all about my weekend but I’m going to skip the re-cap since the highlight from this past weekend was the kid in the shopping cart next to me at Wal-Mart beating the fire out of a package of toilet paper while singing “Hallelujah, Jesus saves!”
Yes, wee child, He does save but I’m not sure He’s going to be able to save that package of Charmin you just desecrated.
Also: yes, I really do (occasionally) say “beating the fire out of…” whatever.
And yes, it sounds like “fiiiiiiiiiiiire” when I say it.
And yes, it sounds even better coming out of Cate’s mouth.
Anyway, I’m skipping the re-cap because I have a pressing issue to discuss with you AND IT IS CALLED 1ST GRADE PARTY.
I called MacKenzie’s dad last week and asked when her class party was and if he’d mind me going with him since she’s been wanting me to come visit her at school for awhile now. It turns out that he wasn’t going to be able to go because of his job, so guess who is happily stepping in as the replacement parental figure? I AM SO EXCITED I CAN BARELY STAND IT!!!!!!!
Honestly, I’ve dreamt of being the “classroom mom” for awhile now and, although I’ll just be attending one measly party, I like to think of this as practice. I had already decided how I was going to fix my hair (perfect mom-ish coif, if you were wondering) and what I’d wear (cardigan set, like a good classroom mom) when MacKenzie’s dad dropped the bombshell: I have to dress up like a character from a book about Hawaii and read the book aloud to M.’s class.
Now, I am all about doing a little reading for the class, but I am quite concerned about the reality of my hips in a grass skirt. While they will be extremely useful in childbirth one day down the road, I’m afraid they might (accidentally, of course) knock a couple of innocent children all the way to a neighboring island or something.
And thus, I come before you humbly in need of suggestions for how to be the best Fake Classroom Mom possible whilst wearing something Hawaiian and yes that means I want you to tell me what to wear AND STAT BECAUSE, GUESS WHAT, THE PARTY IS TOMORROW.
Also: are there any “secrets” that I should know about? Like, anything I could do to be the best possible Fake Classroom Mom? I only ask because I’ve never done this before and M.’s never had a maternal figure in the classroom with her and I want it to be perfect for her.
And if perfect means my wearing a grass skirt, well, M.’s just going to have to learn to live with imperfectness ’cause I’ll do a lot for the kidlet but I draw the line at skirts that come with a whole list of possible wardrobe malfunctions.
I’ll meet you in the comments, O Ye Classroom Moms (and others with ideas of how to dress like I’m straight out of a children’s book about Hawaii).
And bring me a fruit punch with a little umbrella straw in it, if you don’t mind.
Posted: May 18th, 2009 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 19
Comments
Comment from Tammy
Time: May 18, 2009, 8:27 am
Oh, AB….she will love you however you are….BUT, after having 8 children that I have to go to school for I have figured this out….no matter how I dress, I am still a mom and most of the positive comments from the other children have been when I dress like a loving mom. So, I would just suggest maybe a Hawaiian looking, classy sun dress and flip flops. Now the problem is…ITS COLD OUTSIDE….but you can do this…just act like its hot outside….Walk into the classroom like June Cleaver would….acting as though you know exactly what your doing. Kids love confidence. So, this is my “cliff notes” on be a classroom mom. HAHAHA
Comment from Jenn
Time: May 18, 2009, 8:46 am
AB, I have a really beautiful sarong (okay, it’s a skirt on me) from jamaica that is super colorful!, and if you’d like to borrow it, I can meet you at LU tonight. I have one from Hawaii (my brother went last august), but I can’t find it. It looks supercute with jeans in case you were wondering.
Clearly I’m not a mom, so the rest is up in the air, but I’ve been to a few luau’s in the last year. I’ll look tonight and see what else I have if you want the sarong.
Comment from Amanda
Time: May 18, 2009, 9:02 am
Whatever you wear, be sure to put a colorful flower in your mom-coif.
Comment from Kristy Ford
Time: May 18, 2009, 9:13 am
If she’s anything like my first grader she will drag you all around the classroom pointing out all kinds of things… and introducing you to all her friends. Thy don’t care about perfection, they just want you to be a part of it.
Comment from Becky Jo
Time: May 18, 2009, 9:20 am
OK, not knowing which book it is, I would say head on down to your local party store and pickyourself up some leis – One for your neck, once ankle and a wrist. And if ya wanna be “super-cool-fake-classroom-mom” pick up a jumbo pack of either leis or someother kinda tropical favor and pass em out to the kiddos.
HOWEVER, I have no doubt that you have the title “BEST EVAH classroom mom – even if she is ‘fake’ – that anybody has ever seen” locked down … no matter what you wear or do! ‘Cause, AB, YOU ROCK!!!!
Comment from Denise
Time: May 18, 2009, 10:31 am
Hello…Im stopping by from Rebecca Jo’s….nice to meet you. As far as Hawaiian attire….why not shorts and a Hawaiian shirt? Good luck!
Comment from Kelly @ Love Well
Time: May 18, 2009, 10:38 am
OF COURSE, you’ll need flowers in your hair. A flower leis is also required for Hawaiian classroom mom. (I’m pretty sure the Barbie version also had a coconut drink in her hand, but I don’t think that’s allowed in elementary schools these days.)
But mostly? You’ll need a huge heart of love for your child and a willingness to embrace living in the moment. And look! You’ve got that already!
Comment from Leslie Lauren
Time: May 18, 2009, 11:51 am
Your Charmin comment and hip-knocking island comment had me rolling all over my office (!!!!!). Thank you so much for that much-needed dose of hilarity on a Monday 
Can I just tell you that you have NOTHING to worry about, as I can already tell from your writings that you will be the hit of the class party!! Take it from a mom who knows, the more outrageous the outfit, the better (I recently dressed very mexican for a mexican fiesta party and could hardly contain the beam from my son’s face at his crazy-decked out mama). ALSO! The best advice I could ever give~ when a child talks to you and asks about your outfit (because you know they will if you do it right…and I have a very good feeling you will do it right…), look right into their face and smile a lot. I can’t tell you how much that means to some kids who don’t have parents who really listen and pay attention to them. You will be amazing!!! 
Comment from Racer
Time: May 18, 2009, 11:52 am
Flower in your hair, lei, and seriously go for it with the grass skirt. The kids will love it! You can wear it over shorts, capris, or pants (depending on the weather) and if you don’t do a flower in your hair, definitely do a hat.
Sunglasses are a must!
Comment from Happy Geek
Time: May 18, 2009, 12:06 pm
Like the others, I’d say lei, flower in your hair and a cute sundress. Or a loud Hawaiian shirt and capris.
I’d save the grass skirt for the kids. As a teacher trust me when I say this. She really won’t give a flying fig one way or the other about what you are wearing as long as it is sorta in the theme. I’ve had waaay too many kids who have been looking around for a parent who doesn’t show, so if you are able to be there, well, that’s all she needs. I promise, that is all she needs.
Comment from Sarah@ Life in the Parsonage
Time: May 18, 2009, 12:22 pm
You will be perfect because you’re you.
“fiiiiiire” crack me up…man I want an accent.
Comment from stephanie
Time: May 18, 2009, 3:06 pm
As a former teacher, I would say go with the fun sundress and a lei and flowers in your hair. The teacher probably already has leis to hand out to everyone, but kids love a hand out! Some kind of treat, candy, or other Hawaian gift would make them so happy! Also, you rock that book! Give it all you got. And don’t be one of the parents to just stands there, but don’t try to take over either. Just go with the flow. They will all love having you there! Just be friendly and make it fun for both them and you.
Can’t wait to hear about it!
Comment from heather
Time: May 18, 2009, 3:13 pm
As a mom of four, truly just showing up and talking to her and all her friends will make you an instant hit. Like the other commenter, if you really want to rock and make her look like a rock star in the eyes of her classmates, a little treat is always a hit! That’s not to incite comments of buying love, etc.! And, the Dollar Tree happens to have a boat-load of luau stuff that you might “accesorize” yourself with for cheap!
Comment from debbie d.
Time: May 18, 2009, 4:00 pm
get thee to Target, Walmart or the Dollar Store STAT!!! they have great luau stuff on sale right now…
Comment from Cait
Time: May 18, 2009, 8:12 pm
Sarong?? it that hawiian. you could totally do hawiian print sarong (aka a couple of metres of material you just bought from the fabric store) with a black tee and a lei and flowers in your hair and cute flip flops.
that’s what i would wear.
i’d also advise wearing some leggings under the wrap around sarong skirt… just in case!
Comment from cindy
Time: May 18, 2009, 8:51 pm
Just checking: are you sure he isn’t playing a joke on you? Is he a funny kind of guy? My 6 year old just had “dress like your favorite story book character” day…but I’ve never heard of “dress like your favorite HAWAIIAN story book character” day…you might want to do a drive by of the school just to see if you see any other floral prints or grassy attire going in there.
Comment from Kelli
Time: May 18, 2009, 10:45 pm
I am so sad that I didn’t see this earlier! Definitely wear a flower in your hair and I know you found something perfect to read. The BEST thing you can do is to read with fun voices, excitement, etc. As a former teacher, those kids will EAT THAT UP! The face that you are there will make her beyond delightful.
*But I do feel like I must warn you about the classroom party. In TX the class party normally means mass quantities of sugar with no limitations and this can result in EXTREMELY hyper children. Just felt it was my duty to give you the heads up. And if you are there for post party activities said children can suffer from a severe sugar hangover! *
Comment from Jeannette
Time: May 18, 2009, 11:19 pm
a flower in your hair (single ladies on the right, married on the left), a lei around your neck and no cocconut shells under your cardigen. you asked……..I told you. Have a wonderful time.
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Comment from Christy
Time: May 18, 2009, 8:26 am
M. Is so very lucky to have you. As the mom of a 3rd grader (named M.) a first grader and a preschooler-I can say that kids don’t care what you wear or do- having you there will make it perfect for her. The grass skirt will just give you some bonus points! Have fun