Daily Peek: Tangled up emotions.
Early this morning I found out that one of my college girls had been taken to a local hospital for surgery. By the time I was able to get to the hospital, she had been brought back to the room and was fast asleep. She has no family nearby, but her boyfriend had been there all morning. He decided to take a little break while I could be there to stay with her.
The doctor wanted her to try to eat a cracker so I broke little pieces off slowly, feeding them to her one at a time as she giggled at my telling her I felt like a mama bird feeding my baby bird.
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It was my first time being back in that particular hospital since everything last fall.
It was also the first time I let myself admit I miss that baby without getting angry at myself.
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I am hoping, with everything inside me, that today was a sign of healing.
It just shows your strength… you going back & taking care of YET someone else!!! God still working through you! Praying you FELT a bit of healing!
Good for you! Of course you miss that baby. Healing is a crazy roller coaster ride, not some pleasant thing where you slowly and peacefully float up to the top again. Some days beat you up and others put you back together. I’m so glad you had a “putting together” day where your heart felt good.
I want you to know, I went to bed with this post heavy on my heart last night. To love and then lose a child is no small thing, no matter how much you want to rationalize it away.
I pray God continues to heal your wound, AB. The scar will remain, but the Healer is faithful.