Guest post by Chelsey from The Crouch Family blog.
As you know, there will be days I can’t write as I won’t be with internet access. So, on those days, I’ll be introducing you to friends via guest posts. I asked Chelsey from The Crouch Family blog to write a guest post for me because, although we’re near the same age, we’re in very different seasons of our lives. I’ve enjoyed reading her blog as she’s gone from dating to engaged to married and, now, a soon-to-be mother! I think you’ll enjoy reading about what’s going through her mind right now as she goes through her first trimester of pregnancy.
When Amy Beth asked me to write a post about what it feels like to be a “soon-to-be mother,” I was excited (and honored). But as I sat and tried to find the right angle from which to write, I was at a loss.
The thing is, at least for me, when I wasn’t married, the idea of having kids was mostly just me, my husband, and lots of little ones running around. The details were vague.
When my husband and I were engaged, we thought and prayed long and hard about how soon we would have kids. After talks with our pastor, we decided that for us, the best decision, and the one God was calling us to, was to trust Him with the starting of our family.
As it turned out, God chose for our family to start about eleven days after we got married.
It didn’t come as a huge surprise when we found out: we had prepared ourselves. We were (and are) living on a budget, we’re steadily paying off my husband’s student loans, and we knew we were ready to be parents.
But it’s so different than I expected.
First of all, when you hear about people being pregnant, and even when you read about other people being pregnant on blogs, it seems like one day you find out you’re pregnant and the next day you have your baby. Thus, the emotions go straight from excited! to excited!
But it’s not like that. I took a pregnancy test when I was five weeks and five days pregnant, at the beginning of June. The doctor estimated the due date to be February 5.
As I’m writing this, it’s July 2. Which means I have approximately six more months to think about being pregnant.
I hope I don’t come across as not excited, because I definitely am, especially when I see pictures of babies or things babies wear or really anything having to do with babies. But there are other emotions, too: fear, concern, sadness, grieving.
Fear because I don’t really know how to take care of a baby (for example: brea*tfeeding!?!?!!).
Concern because I’m not sure how we’re going to squeak by on my husband’s income.
Sadness because some people, well, don’t think being five weeks and five days pregnant when you’re seven weeks and two days married is quite as exciting as others.
And grieving because some of the things I thought I might do probably won’t ever happen.
This is me being honest, and this is sin showing the hold it has on my heart.
This is when I have to remember that God, before the foundation of the world, before there was time, said that He would cause physical circumstances to result in life within me. And I have to remember that “children are the Lord’s good gift” (Psalm 127:3). Right now, morning sickness and the mixed emotions I’m feeling don’t seem like a good gift, and from what the Lord said to Eve in the garden, I’m not sure they’re meant to be.
A lot can change in a year. For me, between my 23rd and 24th birthday, I’ll have gotten married and had a baby. But I know the Lord can work miracles in a moment, so at least for today, I’m trusting that He will surround me with women who do know how to take care of babies. That He will provide for us financially. That He will use me, my husband and my baby to show other people that children really are a good gift from the Lord. And that all the things that have been given up for the sake of this child will be returned to us a hundredfold.
And I think in ten, twenty, thirty years, I will look back on this season of my life and see only my life verse played out:
“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” Psalm 34:8
You can follow the rest of Chelsey’s journey into motherhood here.
Posted: July 11th, 2009 under Uncategorized.
Comments: 7
Comments
Comment from Brandy T.
Time: July 11, 2009, 1:20 am
This post is so dear to my heart. I completely identify with all of your emotions, joys, and worries. Unlike you, our first little bundle was a complete surprise, and I felt completely unprepared for life as a mother. But I was amazed at how quickly things came. Sure, it was a bit awkward in the beginning, but soon things like diaper changing, breas*tfeeding, and bath time came like second nature. I’m sure it will be the same for you.
Just the fact that you are so concerned shows that you will be a wonderful mother.
Congratulations!
Comment from Chelsey Crouch
Time: July 11, 2009, 9:01 am
Amy Beth, thanks so much for the opportunity. I really appreciate the encouragement to write down how I’ve really been feeling!
Comment from Jennifer
Time: July 11, 2009, 9:39 am
I think most mothers, if they’re being honest, will admit to having felt like this at the beginning of pregnancy. We became pregnant with our first baby fairly early in our marriage, and three months after she was born, we were pregnant again. I remember feeling overwhelmed both times, wondering just how much change we could handle in such a short amount of time. God is good, though, and He teaches us what we need to know. Our girls are just a couple of weeks away from their third and second birthdays now, and we’re still figuring it all out day by day. If we didn’t feel overwhelmed sometimes, I’m not sure we’d be as attentive to what He’s saying or that we would seek Him as often as we do. Praise Him for giving us more than we feel like we can handle so that we’ll trust Him more! 
Praying that you would get some relief soon from the morning sickness and that this season of your life would be blessed. Congratulations on your new marriage and your pregnancy!
Comment from owlhaven
Time: July 11, 2009, 11:24 am
Thanks for sharing. I got pregnant 9 months after we got married. I wasn’t even 20 yet, and neither I nor my husband had graduated from college. You can bet a lot of people had reservations about that baby. Once she came, though, all the reservations fell away, both in other people and in our own hearts.
Hugs
Mary, mom to 10
Comment from Ronnica
Time: July 12, 2009, 3:26 am
Though I’m more in Amy’s season of life than yours, it was great to read this, Chelsey. Every phase of life has it’s mix of emotions, not just the one I’m in!
Congrats!
Comment from Sarah
Time: July 15, 2009, 2:48 pm
While I am very happy for you and your soon-to-arrive blessing, I must admit that I am puzzled by you (and others) spelling of the clinical term “breastfeeding.” The alternative spellings in no way obscure the meaning of the term, and we are all adults here, so why obfuscate?
The word “breast” has no negative or sinful connotations on its own. It occurs 70 times in the NIV Bible and the KJV. Let us not be embarrassed to say and write such terms plainly, as our bodies are a gift from God and childbirthing a miracle he bestows upon us. Let us also raise our children to respect their bodies and to correctly name the parts of their bodies without embarrassment or fear, so as to better know the whole of our God-given gifts.
Amy Beth here. While I appreciate your comment, I feel it necessary to tell you it was I (not Chelsey) who added the asterisk into that word. I do this with any word that could bring potentially negative Google searches to my blog. -amy beth
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Comment from Jessica
Time: July 11, 2009, 12:54 am
As a new mom of a three month old baby boy, I can completely relate to your post! I too felt all of these emotions! I was scared to death of taking care of my baby! I sleep so deeply, I swore I wouldn’t hear the poor boy cry but I do. I was terrified of knowing exactly what to do, but I do. You just “get it” when its your little one. Three months after I found out I was preggo, my hubs lost his job and is still unemployed but we get by. I say all this to say…God works it all out. If He cares for the little birds in the tree, He cares for you and your family. Trust in Him and it all works out! Good luck and enjoy being pregnant…it’s a magical time!