As fate would have it, I had actually gone to see my mother for the first time in months the day I was to receive the invitation to her lingerie shower. We hadn’t seen each other or talked in a long time, and while I knew she was engaged, I didn’t know any of the wedding details yet. As she’s telling me about her plans, she casually mentions that I should have received an email that day inviting me to her lingerie shower. I told her I hadn’t and then excused myself to the bathroom so I could hyperventilate in private.

Whilst in the bathroom stall, I checked my email on my phone only to discover that this wasn’t some awful joke: there, in my inbox, was the invitation bearing those classic opening lines about purchasing something to “knock him off his feet.” Of course, seeing this caused me to breathe a sigh of relief because I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to say “welcome to the family, stepdad” for weeks now and I can’t think of anything more appropriate than LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT MOM! IT’S GONNA KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET!!!

After spending some quality time on my knees in the bathroom stall asking God what it exactly was that I did in life to deserve the trial He has seen fit to place in front of me, I quietly headed back out into the store where I joined my mother in JCPenney’s jewelry department which led to us walking through the women’s clothing department which, AND SURELY YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, led to us ending up in the lingerie department which is where I spent the next hour of my life waiting outside the dressing room whilst my mother came out to get my opinion on various honeymoon options because black or red, now which do you think would be best for this little nightie, Amy Beth?

For what it’s worth, I picked the black one.

And then went back to the showroom to find the matching robe for it because, and stop me if I’ve mentioned this already but, THAT’S MY MOTHER IN THAT DRESSING ROOM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

She loved the robe and bought it which means that all I need to do now is sneak into her closet, grab the robe and take it to a local store and get some classic words of wisdom embroidered on it:

“Modesty is the best policy, mom.”

A little riddle for you on this fine Thursday afternoon –

What do you get when you take Instant Krazy Glue and add in me plus squeezing the tube too hard minus common sense multiplied by my hand being far too close to the glue divided by my finger stuck to my hand?

If you answered “Googling various ways to remove Krazy Glue from skin” you are correct.

(Also: why do they have to spell crazy with a “k”? Does anyone else think that’s, well, crazy?)

(Also, also: several website recommended that I use sandpaper to remove said glue from my hand. Somehow I think it would be less painful to just walk around with Krazy Glue on my hand for the rest of my life than to SANDPAPER MY HANDS.)

(Also, also, also: I would just like to clarify that I only glued my finger to my hand so that I could use this as a learning experience for y’all. It was my honor to school you in the art of bad Krazy Glue application.)

I have two huge events at work this week that are requiring all of my available brain cells. In other words, today is a survey day. Also: it just took me three attempts to figure out how to spell the word “survey.” Send more brain cells, stat.

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while blogging?

I can’t eat and blog at the same time. I can, however, blow dry my hair and blog at the same time, something I do quite frequently.

2. What is one thing you wouldn’t want to live without?

My grandparents.

3. Beach, mountains or farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?

Right now, in my single girl years, the beach. But only during spring, fall and winter — I don’t like the beach in summertime.

4. What’s your least favorite chore / household duty?

Well, if you asked my college girls to answer this on my behalf, they’d probably tell you every last chore is my least favorite given the state of my house when they came over the other night.

5. Who do people say you remind them of?

I look a lot like my dad.

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying home with the family?

Home, home, home. That has never been my answer until now, actually.

7. What’s your all time favorite movie?

Mona Lisa Smile. Whenever I say that, people tell me they haven’t seen it and it makes me sad. I’ve yet to find someone who has seen it and understands why it is such a great movie. I need someone to share it with, you know?

8. Do you sleep in your make-up or remove it like a good little girl every night?

I’m better about it now than I used to be, but I still sometimes sleep in it. Bad girl!

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you’ve never had a chance to learn? What is it?

It isn’t a “hidden talent” in real life but I don’t think it’s shown up on the blog very much, so you all probably wouldn’t be that familiar with it — but I’m really good at planning events, especially when problems happen. I do a lot of that with my job, but you don’t really see it since I don’t write about my job on the blog.

As far as learning something, I would really like to live in Italy for awhile so that I could learn the language, cooking, etc. I spent three weeks there in college; ever since that trip I’ve thought that living there for six months or so would be incredible. There is a part of me that thinks I should just pack up and move to another country for a year since I’m young and single.

10. What’s one strange thing that you’re really good at?

When someone is in the hospital — emergency room, planned surgery, whatever — I’m really good at being there for them, a skill I developed from being there so much with Starlite girls over the years.

11. What first attracted you to your spouse?

Let me get back to you in 37 years when I actually have a spouse.

12. What is something you love to smell?

Men’s cologne.

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.

Many, many are springing to mind! I think a basic one would be the fact that it can take awhile for me to return phone calls, texts, emails, etc. As far as the blog goes, I think some people get annoyed with how much I write about being single. I can’t help it; it’s what I know.

14. When you have extra money, what’s the first thing you think to do with it?

This is going to make me sound sweeter than I actually am, but I would probably want to use it to take a friend to do something as a surprise for her.

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?

I’m a loud laugher, except for when I laugh at inappropriate times. I once was at a funeral with my ex-boyfriend for someone we didn’t actually know and he started (on purpose, no less) doing little things to try to make me laugh. It worked and, once I started laughing, I could not stop.

As far as what makes me laugh the hardest, that role currently belongs to Gosling. He has this hilarious side to him that I had not seen until about a month ago. Like, the other night for example. We were listening to that song I mentioned the other night on my blog and he began singing it to Cuddles and I was laughing so hard I almost fell off the couch. Like, he was holding that puppy as if it was a baby and singing a love song to it. I kid not.

Gosling, I’m sorry. I had to tell them.

16. Where is your favorite place to shop?

I’m going to have to go with Target. Listen, I live in a small town without a lot of options.

17. What’s one thing you’d do more often if you had more time?

I’d communicate more with people in my life — from friends to blog readers, etc.

18. Are you a big spender or frugal?

I don’t think I’m really either. I just use my money differently than other people, I guess. I would rather skip buying new clothes for myself and use that money to drive to visit friends instead.

19. Who is your favorite character of all time?

Have you ever read the book The Princess by Lori Wick? The title character from it is my favorite.

20. Would you want to be famous?

If it could be used for good, then sure. If it was just for me to be well-known, then no.

If you’ll remember, cupcakes, I took my darling little Avi to see Disney on Ice last week!  As soon as I got off work, I picked her up and we headed to downtown Chattanooga for dinner and the show.  Who doesn’t love downtown?

Here’s a photo from my phone during dinner.  I had to take it with my phone, not my camera, because I felt the need to send it to every last contact in my phone.  I mean, I wouldn’t want anyone to feel left out.

Have you ever seen anything that darling in your entire life?!?  I mean, seriously.  All I said was “Avi, let me take your picture” and then BAM!  She’s all posed, bread in mid-air.

We then headed to the arena for the show.  As we were waiting to cross the street, Avi grabbed my leg and just stood there hugging my leg.  That’s about when I melted into a puddle right outside of Disney on Ice.

We had good seats for the show!  Here’s Nemo and all his little fish-like friends.  I’m sorry I can’t identify everyone but, believe it or not, this was my first experience seeing anything to do with Finding Nemo. I’ve never seen the movie before.

During the intermission we went off in search of a bathroom and the gift tables.  I told Avi she could have either popcorn or a toy, so she chose popcorn inside of a toy.  What a smart child.

The night was perfect and I actually have a video to prove it.  Feel free to watch then entire minute and a half video, especially with my commentary on the current fad of skinny jeans, but I really just care about you seeing the first four seconds where Avi says “Hello, Amy Beth.”  I need you to hear how she says my name.  I NEED YOU TO HEAR IT.

Can’t handle the cuteness.  CAN’T HANDLE IT.

Internet, it’s time you see one of the top reasons I love mentoring college girls. The one on the left — Stephanie, wearing the red shirt — belongs to me.

I’ve never been so proud to claim her as one of my college girls in my life.

Lunch convo with Gosling today –

Me: “I could dance circles around you with my football knowledge.”

Gosling: “Oh, really? Name the quarterback for the New England Patriots.”

Me: “Tom Brady.”

{Look of shock on both of our faces. Who knew I would actually know something?}

Gosling: “Name the quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts.”

Me: “Peyton Manning.”

{Look of extreme shock on both of our faces.}

Me: “Say it, go ahead and say it. I am the most knowledgeable one of us about football.”

(In all fairness, Gosling then asked me to name any two quarterbacks from other teams and I couldn’t think of any.)

(But I like to think I got two out of three questions correct which means I definitely won the football knowledge exam.)

(Also: a girl — who doesn’t read my blog — called Gosling “Noah Calhoun” to his face during lunch today and I AM NOT EVEN JOKING.)

I found this little song on my iPod earlier today and I’ve been listening to it on repeat ever since.  I don’t have a good use for it tonight, but this is what I’m thinking –

One Sunday night in the future, maybe I’ll even be lucky enough for it to be fall then, too?  All the candles in my living room lit, dancing very slowly with someone.  (If you could see how pretty the hardwood floors in my living room are, you’d understand why I think they should be danced over.)  I would be very, very quiet until the chorus came on.

That part I would whisper to him while we danced.

– — –

Your eyes are full, full of the future of us

The air changes as you look across at me in that wondering way

It is as if I knew you before we spoke

Do our hearts know something we don’t?

Conspiring, converging without giving us any say

-

You sing me to sleep

Talk down my walls

Look through my windows as I wait

You could be the thief I give the key to…

-

You’re ruining me with secrets and gestures and looks

With sonnets and second-hand books

Playing the chords in me nobody knew how to play

-

You sing me to sleep

Talk down my walls

Look through my windows as I wait

You could be the thief I give the key to…

-

It fits in your hand like water in rain

It unlocks our two different selves and shows we are the same

Rather than wait ’til I put me out for the taking

You’re breaking

You’re breaking

You’re breaking into my heart

And I’m letting you

The Thief | Brooke Fraser

When I was in Memphis a few weeks ago, we happened to drive past a field of cotton. I was amazed by what I was seeing out my window, so my friend Kelly offered to pull the car over so I could take a closer look. I got out and walked into the field, stopping occasionally to look at the cotton up close. The other girls had gotten out of the car, too, but I was out there in it by myself while they stood at the edge of it. I can’t explain why I do that, but it’s just my nature — if I’m seeing something new, I want to be absolutely surrounded by it.

I walk into the cotton field. It’s just what I do.

– — –

The next night I found myself in Gosling’s family’s living room. They were out of town and he had been house sitting the whole weekend. We had ran some errands and were now back at the house so he could load boxes of books into both of our cars to bring back to school.

As he brought one box down the steps, he pulled a book out of it and told me I should read it while he finished loading the cars. It was a small book, twenty pages or so with just a couple of lines of writing per page. The book is based around the lyrics to Lee Ann Womack’s song I Hope You Dance, a song I’ve heard a hundred times before that night.

And yet somehow heard for the first time that night.

– — –

He left me on the couch with the book and went back upstairs to get another box. A quick glance at the cover of the book told me what I had already suspected — it’s was a book for parents to give to their children. I opened it up, disinterested until I read the first line –

“This is from me to you. This is the truth.”

As I read though the first few pages, I couldn’t help but think about God as a parent, something that’s on my mind nearly all the time. I started thinking about how someone could imagine God writing this book for them, almost as if He was their parent. And then I turned the page.

“I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.”

– — –

Maybe it’s because I had to be so much older than my age these past few years?  Maybe that’s why I’m enjoying being younger, finding times that I missed during the last seven years.

He sees when I take a shorter lunch break so that I can lay on the bench underneath that really big tree just because I like to look at the sky between the leaves. He sees when I purposely leave my umbrella in the car because sometimes I want to feel the rain. He sees when I go out my front door in my pajamas when it snows, just because I want to catch a few snowflakes in my hands.

And He sees when I go walking into the cotton field, just because I want to see it up close for myself.

– — –

I hope I never lose my sense of wonder.

But I suspect He hopes it even more than I do.

I have a question for you, my loves.

What little girl…

wouldn’t like being put in a long white dress…

and asked to play along the shoreline?

There may very well be a little girl who wouldn’t like it.

But, if there is, I’ve yet to meet her.

– — –

I was going to wait a little longer to tell you, but I can’t stand it anymore so I’m just going to spill the news a bit early. As of January 2010, I’ll finally be making the photography thing actually happen as a little “thing on the side.”

I’ve been working on the details for awhile now, but didn’t want to say anything until I was absolutely sure it was going to happen.

(It’s definitely going to happen.)

(I am very, very excited.)

First –

Earlier tonight my friend Perry came over and, as I was pulling brownies out of the oven, I burned my arm on the inside of the oven.  I put something cold on it but couldn’t keep from mentioning every few minutes how badly it was hurting (I actually laid my arm on the inside of the oven door and yet I did not say even one naughty word, not even one!).

It’s made me think — and this is hard coming from the girl who is currently in a stage of life where she’d like nothing more than to swear she’ll never love again — that just because we may burn ourselves pulling something out of the oven once doesn’t mean we stop using the oven forever.

It’d be awfully sad if we let one burn negate something meant for good in our lives, now wouldn’t it?

– — –

And, secondly –

As I was throwing our dessert napkins away tonight, I mistakenly missed the trash and dropped one on the floor.  Before I could reach to get it, Cuddles had snatched it up and was hiding from me as he tried to find whatever chocolate remnants were left.  I didn’t hesitate to take it from him, didn’t ask him if he minded me removing it.  I didn’t even attempt to explain why I was taking something he obviously wanted.  I just took it because I knew it would hurt him and, as his master, I wasn’t going to let him have something temporarily that would hurt him forever.

And it made me think –

God didn’t hesitate to take that certain relationship with that one boy from me, didn’t ask me if I minded if He removed it.

(For the record, I most certainly did mind it very much at the time).

He didn’t explain why He was taking something I obviously wanted.

(And, since we’re still on the record here, I definitely did want it.)

He just took it because He knew it would hurt me and, as my Master, He wasn’t going to let me have something temporarily that would hurt me forever.

– — –

Maybe I should clean up the kitchen more often.