Part of the stage of life I’m in right now — being in my mid-twenties, finished with grad school, single as a slice of cheese — is figuring out who I am, commonly known as “finding yourself.” All you other twenty-somethings are nodding your head right about now because you know what I’m talking about. Maybe it’s just a rite of passage?

The problem is that no one exactly tells you how to find yourself. Like, where exactly do you go looking for yourself? And what about all the places you don’t want to find yourself which, really, is just a delicate way of saying that you didn’t go looking for yourself during that one semester because you didn’t want to “find yourself” with that boy that is no good for you and I’m talking capital letters BOY WHO IS NO GOOD FOR YOU, BACK AWAY SLOWLY AMY BETH.

But, I mean, it’s not like I would know anything about that. Obvs.

I figure that I’m already a few years late in trying to find myself so, without anyone giving me a plan, I’ve just kind of started at the beginning and here’s what I’ve found so far while I’ve been looking for myself.

At the end of the day, there are some things you’re just born with. And I?

I was born with the desire for my hair to be big and a ribbon to be in it, plain and simple.