It’s the middle of the week, which means it’s time for me to write about last weekend because I only have 48 hours left until another weekend begins except really I only have 24 hours left because guess who is on Spring Break this Friday oh yes it would be ME.

So, the weekend.  On Friday, Aviean and I drove to Knoxville to pick up MacKenzie and that silly puppy Darling.  On Saturday, I fixed the girls breakfast and then we went to run several errands so we could have a big birthday dinner at my house that night for my cousin Marisa.  We had over 20 people there and, by the time everyone left that night, I was exhausted.

MacKenzie went back to Knoxville early since her dad’s birthday was on Sunday, so Aviean and I were on our own.  We went to church, grabbed a quick lunch and then I surprised her by taking her to the circus.  I haven’t been to the circus since I was a child, so I saw it differently through the eyes of an adult.  I didn’t really love the experience and probably won’t go again, but Aviean had a good time, especially with the popcorn I bought for her at intermission.  When we had settled back into our seats, I reached over to grab a handful of popcorn only to hear her say “Amy Beff, you should get your own box so I don’t have to share wif you.”

Well, then.

– — –

Gosling came over to watch a movie last night which resulted in us watching P.S. I Love You because I may or may not have said it was a “manly” movie.  In my defense, in comparison to my other movie selections, it is a manly-type movie.

Anyway, having Gosling come over reminded me that I haven’t yet told you about taking him to Ikea a few months ago. This may or may not be because I’ve been trying to forget the experience ever happened given the fact that I may or may not have experienced a wee bit of frustration in said store which may or may not be all Gosling’s fault.

But remember, may or may not are the key words here.

On my way back from the Beth Moore conference in Memphis, Jenna and I dropped by Gosling’s family’s house in GA where we had left her car for the weekend. She had to hit the road back to her hometown right away, but Gosling and I ended up staying in GA for a bit. He had some homework he needed to finish up, so we decided to head to a bookstore in his town. When we pulled into the parking lot, I began flipping out because I recognized the shopping center as being right next door to where former-roommate-turned-bride Katie now lives with her husband!

(I’m sure you’re wondering how I didn’t know I was in her town but, listen, geography is not my thing.)

(But really. I can only identify like four states on a map: Tennessee, Florida, Texas and California.)

(Yes, I am ashamed by this admission.)

So I ended up going to see Katie and Gosling went to the bookstore and then we met back up and I’m all “Gosling, will you please run an errand with me?” and I said it real sweet-like, all the while silently praying he wouldn’t ask me where we were going. He is not easily fooled, however, so I had to admit I was going to Ikea but — to my great happiness — he agreed to go.

On our way there, I began telling Gosling about how I’d been wanting to go to Ikea for awhile now because I needed curtains for my living room and I promised I’ll hurry in the store and maybe we should just run through the kitchen supply area, too? Just in case?

And then Gosling tells me something that nearly stopped my heart right there on the interstate: he had never been to Ikea before.

I KNOW.

So I get so excited that I’m getting to be the one to give Gosling his first introduction to Ikea that I can barely sit still in my seat. By the time we got to downtown Atlanta, I was actually feeling physically ill (no joke) because I had a trizillion butterflies in my stomach all doing a little dance because they too were so excited that Gosling was going to get to experience Ikea AND I WAS GOING TO BE HIS TOUR GUIDE.

Now, here is where the “fun” part comes in.  Gosling decided in the car that, since I was so excited about him seeing Ikea, that he would act like he didn’t like it just to see what my reaction would be.  I, of course, had no idea he was planning to do this.

We walked in and, as I started excitedly showing him spatulas and dishes and tablecloths, Gosling began making cutting remarks about all of them.  At first I thought he was joking, but as we continued to walk through the store and he began to say negative things about every single item I showed him, I began to get a little frustrated.  We finally made it to the curtain section where Gosling actually said to me “You said I would like this store; when am I supposed to start liking it?”

Well, that just LIT MY FIRE.  I immediately had a ton of retorts going through my head about how do I complain when we watch football?  Do I complain? NO, NO I DO NOT, SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH WHEN WE’RE WALKING THROUGH IKEA, GOSLING.

He could tell something was wrong (REALLY, GOSLING, HOW EVER DID YOU NOTICE?), and so he asked me why I was standing in the middle of the aisle just staring at him.

I replied, through clenched teeth, “I’m just talking to God about how I feel about you right now.”

Which prompted Gosling to — in the middle of the store, with people walking all around us — take our large yellow shopping bag, open it wide and place it over my head and shoulders whilst saying “I’m going to give you and Him a few minutes alone together.”

– — –

Gosling = 1; Amy Beth = 0.

I went to the florist on my lunch break yesterday.

“Do you have any pink roses?”

They did and, as they were wrapping one for me, I volunteered information the florist didn’t ask for nor actually care to hear.

“It’s her first school play.  She’s eight.”

Polite smile, tissue paper wrapped around the rose.

“She even has a speaking part,” I say, unashamedly proud.

– — –

And so I left work early yesterday, picked up a certain little four year old and put her in her car seat.

And we drove to Knoxville, one of us taking a nap on the way.

Can you guess who that was?

We got to the play seven minutes before it began.  The children came out, class by class and we spotted her, wearing a blue skirt.

The play was 28 minutes long.  Out of all those students, she had a speaking part.  Did I mention that she had a speaking part?  Well, if I forgot to tell you already, she — my MacKenzie — had a speaking part. We rehearsed it over and over this past weekend.

She did an excellent job.  And that is an unbiased opinion.

She didn’t know we were coming.  I try not to make promises to her that I can’t keep, so I didn’t tell her that I was going to even attempt to come up for the play just in case I couldn’t get out of the office in time to make the drive up.

Surprises are always better than broken promises.

Did I mention she had a speaking part?

On Saturday, I mentioned that I did something on Friday night that was better than almost better than going on a date. I feel a bit like I did the morning I had to tell you that I had gone back to work before I was, you know, allowed to by my doctor. If you’ll remember, I started that post with “I CAN EXPLAIN” which is always a good way to start a post when you’ve got news to share that may or may not be received well.

So, as you read this, try to remember that I CAN EXPLAIN.

I may or may not have become the owner of a third puppy this weekend.

Before you do that “deeply disappointed sigh,” I CAN EXPLAIN.  I have some friends from Knoxville who got married, adopted a puppy and have realized that their current work schedules aren’t allowing them to care for it as they’d like and feel it deserves.  They wanted to give it to someone with children to love it and other dogs to play with it.

Hello, my name is Amy Beth and you have just described my life.

So, on Thursday and Friday we emailed and called back and forth and talked about it and decided that, when I came to Knoxville that evening to pick MacKenzie up for the weekend, I would meet them and their dog.  Since I already had MacKenzie and Aviean with me before we went to meet the puppy, I had a very long, very serious talk about how we were just going to SEE THE PUPPY, NOT TAKE IT HOME WITH US.  GIRLS, THIS IS NOT OUR PUPPY.  WE ARE JUST GOING TO LOOK AT THE PUPPY.

The puppy was in the backseat of my car within 17 minutes of our arrival.

Listen, what was I thinking taking two little girls with me, especially two little girls who enjoy wrapping my two male puppies up in baby blankets and pretending like they’re baby dolls?  I never stood a chance, and neither did that puppy.  Within about 8.3 seconds of meeting the puppy, MacKenzie was promising me that she’d help take care of it and Aviean was jumping up and down whilst saying “Puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy, puppy!” over and over again.

Furthermore, earlier in the day on Friday, I sent an email out to my college girls to ask their thoughts on my POSSIBLY, COLLEGE GIRLS THIS IS JUST A POSSIBILITY getting a new puppy.  Their responses, after seeing a picture of her (oh yes, it’s a girl!)?

“Oh gosh.  Okay, you have my permission.”

“She’s so cute. You should get her.”

“Take her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  TAKE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

On Friday afternoon I made a pro and con list about whether I should get the puppy or not and here’s what it basically looked like:

Pro: If I take the puppy, I can say I have puppy triplets.  I’ve always wanted triplet human babies, and this is basically the same thing, right?  Wait, right?

Con: If I take the puppy, I somehow have to tell my father I now have three dogs.

On that note, by the way, he’s finding out about this as he reads this very post because I couldn’t work up the nerve to tell him over the phone this weekend.  Hi, dad.  Can’t wait to talk to you in 3.7 seconds when you call my cell phone to tell me what a bad idea this whole third puppy thing is.  I KNOW, RIGHT?

And so, I drove home Friday night with two little girls and one little puppy in my backseat, wondering if I have lost my sweet mind.  When we got home, we introduced Snuggles y Cuddles to the new puppy and the results were better than I had expected.  With a couple of momentary exceptions, my puppy triplets have acted rather good together this weekend.  In all seriousness, the owners and I have an agreement that, if it doesn’t work out, I can return the puppy to them and stat.  I’m giving it a trial run and am going to make a decision by the end of this week as to whether I’m keeping her or not.

In the meantime, meet Darling (the name is on trial, as is her living with us):

And yes, her ears stay like that all the time.  ALL THE TIME.

I don’t have a lot of time to write because in exactly 1.5 hours there are about 20-something people coming to my house for another birthday dinner (it’s Marisa’s turn, this time!) and there are three girls in my house named Amy Beth, MacKenzie and Aviean who haven’t exactly gotten ready yet much less replaced light bulbs, cleaned the kitchen counters or, you know, put the four trays of chicken alfredo in the oven to bake.

But I had to take a second to write because I saw something incredible this morning and, once word is out about it, I’m afraid there will be a stampede to your local Target store and you’ll lose out on this good deal and I cannot let that happen.

Pretend that, right here, you see a picture of HALF OFF BUMP-ITS!!!

Listen, I should have gotten a picture for you but I had two little girls with me, a birthday shopping list and a raging case of “I-have-no-energy-left-thanks-to-mono.”  But, picture or no picture, I couldn’t keep from sharing this shopping miracle with you, my fellow big hair lovers.

Now, I didn’t buy any because, hello, I already own them in all available sizes.  But for those of you who have felt the urge to buy the Bump-it but have resisted, well, now is your chance.  They’re 50% on your local Target endcap (near the hair product section, obvs) and I want to assure you that you will not regret spending that $4.98.

I have a four year old in my lap singing Happy Birthday to me (we’ve been practicing today, in honor of tonight’s party) so I must go.  Live long with high hair and prosper, my friends.

(And wait until I tell you what I did last night.  You’re going to flip out.)

(I didn’t go on a date, lest you think my Friday nights have suddenly become miraculous.)

(It’s even better than a date.)

(Well, maybe.)

(Okay, probably not, but let’s pretend like it was.)

After hitting up the Dr. Seuss birthday party last weekend, MacKenzie, Aviean and I grabbed some lunch from Chick-Fil-A and headed to a nearby park to have a picnic and spend a few hours playing since the sun was finally beginning to show its face in our town.  My friend Perry joined us and, after the girls thoroughly wore him out on the jungle gym, he and I sat on my blanket watching them play and talked about life for a bit between each of us repeatedly telling Aviean to stay out of the creek.

On our way home from the park, I suddenly felt like I was in the mood to cook.  I sent a text out to my college girls and it turned out that several of them didn’t have dinner plans, so dinner was on at my house!  MacKenzie and Aviean absolutely love my college girls, so they were very happy to have a house full of them and you should know by now that I’m always happy to have a house full of them.

After we ate dinner, we played a bit of Wii before I made myself go back into the kitchen to face the task ahead of me: baking a whole lot of muffins.  You see, I work with a woman who is currently in the process of adopting a daughter from the Philippines. She and her husband recently went to the Immigration office to apply for approval and were told that it would take around three months for the approval to be granted.  Although they didn’t want to wait that long, they were also thankful for the time because they needed to use the time to save up the $900.00 needed to submit their dossier to the Philippines.

You can imagine how surprised we all were when Immigration sent their approval immediately after they applied!  This, of course, meant that as soon as they had the $900.00 in hand, they could send their paperwork overseas.  I immediately rounded up my office student workers and we came up with the idea of doing a bake sale for donations.  I emailed a bunch of staff members and faculty from the University and, to make a long story short, by Friday afternoon I found myself with orders for 15 dozen muffins and 15 dozen brownies to be delivered on Monday morning.

Um, oops?

Another coworker of mine immediately offered to bake some of the muffins, so that left me with only eight dozen muffins and 15 dozen brownies to bake.  I dutifully went to Sam’s to buy the mixes, eggs, etc. and, as I was leaving, I saw a woman carrying a tray of pre-made brownies straight from the bakery section.  I immediately wanted to exchange my many boxes of brownie mix for pre-made brownies but decided that, no, I would make those brownies from scratch because I am every woman!

As it turns out, however, I am not every woman.  I am a woman who can handle two little girls, two puppies, go to a Dr. Seuss birthday party, spend a few hours at the park, cook dinner for my college girls, bake eight dozen muffins, attend church, etc. all in one weekend whilst still recovering from mono (oh yes, it is still here).  But I cannot, on top of all of that, bake 15 dozen brownies.

Thankfully, Sam’s Club was ready to come to my rescue.

That’s right: on Sunday afternoon, I took the walk of shame to the service desk at Sam’s Club and exchanged my boxes of brownie mix for eight containers of pre-made brownies that could be simply cut (thank you, college girl Anna!) and delivered.

On Monday morning, Anna came to my house and helped pack up the 15 dozen muffins (thank you, college girl Kimberly for helping me bake on Saturday night!) and 15 dozen brownies and, before long, we were off to make deliveries!  Anna and I delivered muffins and brownies for several hours and I’m happy to tell you that we raised the entire $900.00 dossier fee for the McMullin family just from a few hundred homemade muffins and store-bought brownies.  I loved being able to do something practical to help and I was so glad that MacKenzie and Aviean got to “help” me during the weekend as I’m trying to instill the value of caring for others early on in their little hearts.

Of course, I also instilled the value of purchasing pre-made brownies instead of baking your own but all I have to say about that is that sometimes it’s good to learn early on in life that there’s nothing wrong with a few pre-made brownies.

I find it ironic that I’m just now writing about last weekend when we’re only a few hours from another weekend beginning.  But, really, later is better than never.  Wait, right?  You agree?

Last weekend, after I got off work, Aviean, Jay / Rose and I drove to Knoxville to pick MacKenzie up for the weekend!  We got back to Cleveland fairly late, so all three of us were off to bed not long after arriving home.

On Saturday morning, after having breakfast in our pajamas, the girls and I headed to see the doctor and by “doctor” I am, of course, referring to Dr. Seuss.  It just so happens that one of our local libraries was celebrating the 50th “birthday” of his books and by now you should know that I’m not one to miss a good birthday party.

Things I would like you to notice about the following picture:

1. Yes, the girls are wearing matching shirts.

2. Yes, the girls are wearing matching hats.

3. No, I don’t have a full wardrobe of matching clothes for them.

4. Yes, Aviean looks very afraid of Thing 1 and Thing 2.  Remember that face; you’re going to see it again in this post.

I actually call the girls “Thing 1″ (MacKenzie) and “Thing 2″ (Aviean) all the time, so it was pretty funny to watch them try to explain to the characters that they also share their names.  All I have to say is I’m glad they don’t also share their hair because I just don’t feel like blue is really the girls’ color, you know?

They had all kinds of stations inside the library where the girls could do different activities, such as decorating green eggs in honor of Dr. Seuss’ classic Green Eggs and Ham book.

Or making birthday party hats since we were, after all, at a birthday party.

They had at least 15 different stations set-up for the kids, including dancing, building things, more crafts, etc.

And face painting, naturally.  What good birthday party doesn’t include face painting?

I found another kitten, too.

The minute I saw these two kittens together, I just knew we were going to have trouble when Snuggles y Cuddles found out that I was bringing home a couple of new pets.

Our last stop of the birthday party was to have our picture made with the Cat in the Hat who, it turns out, was a local female college student forced into dressing up as a pretend cat in order to earn some service hours for a class.  Otherwise known as the worst Saturday morning of her life.

And, well, the worst Saturday morning of Aviean’s life, too.  But can you blame her for being scared?

That’s one sad kitten, my loves.  One sad kitten indeed.

Listen, we need to talk about something.  Namely, the Jay / Rose situation.

If you’re not familiar with Jay / Rose, perhaps you should revisit the post where I explained the whole Jay / Rose name situation or, if you’d like to hear it straight from the child’s mouth, perhaps you should view the video where Aviean and I discuss Jay / Rose.  If nothing else, you should go watch that video right now just to hear the way she says “Hellwo, Amy Beff” and then you will understand why this four year old child has turned my life absolutely upside down in the best way possible.  Be forewarned that you’re probably going to fall in love with her immediately upon hearing her precious little voice.  I can’t be held responsible, people.  She’s just that darling.

If you’re a longtime reader of the blog, you might remember that, in the summer of 2008 right after our family found out about Aviean’s, um, existence (surprise!), she was admitted to a nearby children’s hospital to be treated for some health problems. Even though I hadn’t known about her (or much less known her) for long, I was already absolutely smitten with her and spent quite a few nights on the fifth floor of that hospital with her.

While she was in the hospital, Jay / Rose was accidentally picked up with her hospital bedsheets and lost forever.  Jay / Rose, who was simply known as Jay back in those days, is a pink puppy she’s had since she was a baby.  Jay / Rose goes everywhere with Aviean and, when I say everywhere, I literally mean everywhere.  We had a situation on our hands but, thanks to some quick blog readers, a new Jay / Rose was on it’s way to me (she’s never figured it out, by the way).

Since I’ve had Aviean with me so much over the last five months or so, Jay / Rose has become a part of my everyday life.  When Jay / Rose falls out of the bed during the night, Aviean somehow knows and I am woken to do a 3 a.m. search for him her it.  When we go to Cracker Barrel for dinner, Aviean orders “pantycakes” and Jay / Rose eats some, too.  When we go to the park to play on the swings, Jay / Rose wants his her its own swing, too.

So you can see how, when Aviean and I went out to play in a fresh snowfall the other day, I naturally assumed that Jay / Rose might want to join us.

It turns out that Jay / Rose loves snow, except for when it gets on his her its head (if you’re wondering how I know this, why don’t you know that Jay / Rose whispered it to Aviean and she informed me?).  Jay / Rose spent some time frolicking with us through the snow and, as we carried him her it around, I started thinking that, do you know what we need on this blog?  DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED?

We need a semi-regular peek into Jay / Rose’s world.  And, by goodness, my camera and I are going to start providing it for you and stat.  I’ll occasionally put up picture posts for you whenever Jay / Rose does something exciting and I’ll continually update this post (and link back to it in each Jay / Rose update) so that we can follow along with his her its adventures.

Where oh where will Jay / Rose take us next?

Good morning, internet.

Once again I fail at keeping my promises.  I promised you pictures of my fun weekend and do I provide them this morning?  No, no I do not.  This is partially due to the fact that I couldn’t find my camera cord until just a few minutes ago and partially due to the fact that I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed early enough to properly search for it mainly due to the fact (do you like how I’ve managed to slip that phrase into this sentence three different times?) that I basically no longer sleep past 3:30 a.m. and I have no idea why except, actually, I think I do and it’s called anxiety but it’s starting to get a wee bit annoying due to the fact (four!  four times!) that I tend to love and properly appreciate sleep.

Are you impressed with that sentence length?  I love to write run-on sentences when I’m functioning on just a few hours of sleep!

– — –

Things I have been doing lately in no particular order:

Taking my cousin Marisa to dinner for her birthday.   Planning a birthday party at my house for her (this coming weekend!).  Not getting home last night until right before Life Group began and finding two of my college girls (who will remain nameless Nina and Keri) jumping up and down in my yard because they needed to use the bathroom and were locked out of my house.  Explaining to Aviean why we don’t hide from Amy Beth when we’re running late for church.  Missing Cate because she’s moved to the town where her Army fiance is stationed so that she can see him before he deploys for a year.  Missing my college roommates and, dare I say it, even my dorm rooms.  Being glad I finally found curtains that I like for my living room.  Working.  Working, working, working.  Telling Snuggles y Cuddles how much I love them.

So, basically, just the usual going on around here.

After lunch today, as I was in the elevator heading to the top floor of my office building, a woman whom I don’t know asked me if I could give her directions as to where she could find an office on campus.  When I finished providing the directions, she smiled at me and said –

“When are you due?”

I thought she was asking when something was due.  Like an application for admission to the University.  Or maybe a scholarship application?

“I’m sorry, when is what due?” I said, totally oblivious.

“When is your due date?” she said, looking at my stomach.

– — –

We now pause for things I wish I had said at this point in the story:

1. “Actually, I had her six years ago.”

2. “Tomorrow.”

3. “Not for another seven months, but it’s twins!”

4. “Not for another seven months, but it’s conjoined twins!”

5. “No, are you?”

– — –

We now return to our story.  I said “Well, I’m not pregnant.”  She looked confused, pointed to my stomach and said “Oh!  I’m sorry.  Your shirt just makes you look like you are!”

Would anyone like a navy blue empire waist shirt because I suddenly have one available and will happily mail it to you this very day, the eighth of March in the year of our Lord, two thousand and ten.

Last night, after a weekend full of fun which I will tell you about tomorrow, Aviean went with me to have dinner with my dad, stepmom and grandparents.  Since she’s from the maternal side of my family, she had never met them before.  We went to a very nice restaurant, so I was a bit concerned about how she’d act in it but she sat quietly, barely saying a word throughout the first half of the dinner.

That is, until there was a silent moment at the table when she felt the need to say the following –

“Amy Beff, you USED to have a boyfwriend.”

Why, thank you, Aviean.  I think the only thing dinner was missing was an awkward moment during the main course.

– — –

On the way home last night, I suddenly heard tears from the backseat.  I asked what was wrong and –

“I just wish I could be a mermaid, Amy Beff.  I’m never going to get to be one because I’m a human gwirl!”

– — –

She’s currently sitting beside me forcing Cuddles to be Pocahontas.  Poor Cuddles.  First he gets a girl name, then he has to a female Disney character.  Life is so hard sometimes.

– — –

I just told her I’m writing about her to my friends (oh please, like we wouldn’t be friends if I knew you in real life) and asked if there was anything she would like me to tell you.  She wants you to know that “Snuggles and Cuddles are very nice to Aviean.  Snuggles and Cuddles love Miss, Miss, little Miss Aviean.”  Good to know we’re mastering the art of speaking about ourselves in third person, no?

– — –

You’ve seen it before, but I think you might need to see it again just to make your Monday morning a bit more bearable –

See you later, alligators.  Afterwhile, crocodiles.  And, my personal favorite: holla, koala.