Today was so busy!

I should have gotten up earlier, I think.

It took me forever to wake Angelina, Juliana and Olivia up,

much less to get them ready for daycare.

I put on my make-up between dressing Juliana and Olivia

and almost left my cell phone laying in bed where I had left it the night before.

– — –

I got the girls inside the daycare

and even managed to remember to bring diapers with me.

(I was really proud of that, just so you know.)

I worked all day,

did my Bible study at my desk at lunch,

and then picked them up before the daycare closed.

I didn’t get everything finished before I left the office today,

so I took the girls to Chick-Fil-A for kid’s night.

After overseeing the consumption of chicken nuggets,

I ushered the girls into the indoor playground

so that I could buy myself a little time

to wrap up a couple of things on my laptop.

I felt so much guilt.

I could hardly concentrate on what I was doing,

because I was feeling so guilty about not spending time with them.

But I work extra hours and extra freelance writing projects

so that I can have money for diapers and flash cards.

I’m not complaining.

My current budget just doesn’t really allow for children,

so I have to work more to allow for the children in my life.

I love it, having the opportunity to do more work

to be able to do more for them.

So feeling guilty about working was driving me crazy.

Conflicted guilt, that’s what it was, I think.

– — –

Olivia endured three separate timeouts this evening.

I’m always afraid that I’ll spoil any of the five girls,

since I am “Amy Beth,” not their mother.

Sure, I want them to think I’m fun.

But fun isn’t all I’m meant to be in their little lives.

I’ve been happily pleased to find out that

I ended up with a little disciplinarian inside of me after all.

Not only am I the queen of timeouts,

but I’ve even been known to take away privileges every now and then.

– — –

Olivia’s crimes of the evening?  I know you’re wondering.

1. Attempting to escape my grip in the parking lot.

2. Throwing her chicken nugget on the floor.  On purpose.

3. Biting a child at daycare.  I know!

– — –

I read an interesting quote in my Bible study today at lunch.

“I have pouted against Him in my disobedience,

angry that I wasn’t experiencing Him

but not wanting to change my allegiances either.”

Ruth: Loss, Love and Legacy | Kelly Minter | pg. 17

– — –

I want to write more.

But I need to go make sure that four little girls

– Angelina, Aviean, Juliana and Olivia –

are still asleep in the other room.

If they are, there’s about to be a fifth girl in this house fast asleep.

Pretend parenting can wear you out.