It’s a good thing I went to bed early last night, because I’ve been up since 5:02 a.m. when Aviean woke me because she wanted to have a little chat about puppy dogs, earrings and what I was like as a little girl.  Amazingly, all of my attempts to get her to fall back asleep failed, so I now find myself writing to you about Justin Bieber in this early morning hour while I’m still half asleep.

One of the things I like most and, alternately, least about my friend Cara is that she has this uncanny ability to remember random things I say during our late night phone conversations.  This would be fairly harmless in itself, but then Cara goes and puts them in her Facebook quote section.  My current claim to fame on her profile?

“Justin Bieber has tapped into my very being.” – Amy Beth

Now, here is the part of this post where I begin to defend myself and Justin-baby.

On my way to work one recent morning, I heard the radio announcer say that my one true love, Justin Bieber, is going to be performing a mere 30 miles from me this fall.  Instantly, I was plunged into the great debate: do I purchase tickets to see Justin Bieber live in concert or do I act my age and not attend what is possibly the greatest concert event of all time (other than the time I went to an Amy Grant concert and got to go on stage with her, but that’s a story for another time).

Justin Bieber is the boy I don’t want to like, but find myself inexplicably drawn towards (please note, that sentence could describe many of my previous dating relationships).  I cannot hold it in any longer.  I need to talk Justin; I need to let it flow from me like a river.

Does Justin look like a teenage girl?  Well, perhaps.  He does have rather girlish hair.  Does Justin sound like a teenage girl when he sings?  Well, perhaps.  He does have a rather girlish voice.  But does Justin know how to write song lyrics that touch the core of my heart?  Oh yes, YES HE DOES.

I offer the following lyrics for your observation:

“Are we an item?  Girl, quit playing.  ‘We’re just friends.’  What are you sayin’?” — from Baby

Obviously, Justin knows how to get to the very heart of the issue, quickly.  Instead of toying around with some girls’ emotion, he tells her that he either wants all or nothing.  What a man. Or, you know, a preteen boy.

“Tell me what you’re here for — them other guys?  I can see right through ya.” — from Eenie Meenie

Let me just go on the record as saying that this happens to be my favorite Justin Bieber song of the moment.  Not only can I sing the whole song from memory, but the other night, I choreographed an entire dance routine right there in my very kitchen while some of my college girls were at my house.  I think it is safe to say that, should they or I ever find ourselves as back-up dancers with Mr. Bieber, we will already know some killer dance moves.

Actually, I’m really tempted right now to make a video for you demonstrating the routine I choreographed because, listen, it is amazing.  I basically turned the song into a duet between Justin and a girl (I’m available to sing the girl part, if he was to need me).  They alternate parts, dance around each other, etc.  There’s a part in the routine where the lights would go out and then BAM!  Justin and I the girl singing with him have switched places and are out in the crowd singing!  On a platform above the crowd!   My hair the girl who is singing, her hair, it is blowing out behind her!  Justin’s long, girlish locks are flowing out behind him!  IT’S A MAGICAL MOMENT IN MUSIC HISTORY!

I’m going to get dressed for work now.