It’s time to tell you about Bank Boy.

You’re only going to understand what I’m about to tell you,

if you go and watch “Taylor the Latte Boy” first.

Basically, there’s a boy who works where I bank

– Bank Boy, if you will –

and I’m pretty sure we have a “connection” with each other.

When I send my deposit in

through the little machine thing-y,

he’s always like “Hey, Amy.  How are you?”

Now, the reason I feel like it is safe to blog about this

is because he can’t possibly read my blog.

I mean, if he did, he would know I’m Amy Beth not Amy.

So, I think we can safely dish about Bank Boy.

Sometimes, on Friday afternoons, he says

“Have any good plans for the weekend?’

I always say “Oh, not really”

even if I have stellar plans for the weekend.

I have an acquaintance who knows him,

so I asked her if he was single.

He is and, get this –

he loves to tell corny jokes.

How perfect would we be together, I mean, really?

Of course, I don’t actually know his name.

I meant to ask her what his name was.

All I’m saying is that, when he sends my deposit receipt

back through the thing-y,

I think we have a moment, Bank Boy and I.

– — –

I thought of some more things we better add

to that list of things I’d like to do in life.

5. speak French

6. speak Italian

7. spend three months in Italy writing.

8. or writing in England.

9. run an orphanage with all of my friends, as I told you last night.

– — –

Things I am going to do this weekend:

1. quality time with Melanie, one of my high school bff’s

2. take Melanie to get lemonade at the best little place!

3. figure out how to organize the girls’ bathroom stuff

4. work a little bit (sometimes I have to on the weekends)

5. quality time with Christan, one of my college bff’s

6. go look at wedding dresses and venues with Cate

7. work on Marisa’s lingerie shower plans

8. help Ryan with Angelina, Juliana and Olivia, maybe?

9. email, email, email — but I love emails!

– — –

Last night, trying to fall asleep, I got frustrated.

I feel like I don’t “hear from God”

as easily as I used to and I don’t like it.

When I don’t get a response back from someone,

I don’t usually spend a lot of time talking to them.

I felt like there was this bad, awful silence between us.

By “us,” I mean, God and I.

I decided to turn on my “cry” iTunes playlist

and, sure enough, I cried, sitting there in my bed,

back propped up against the wall.

I was thinking about the past

and about how, when I was younger,

I really believe that God would

step in and save the day for me

when it came to a relationship in my life.

I was crying because I was remembering how many times

I begged Him to fix that relationship.

I asked at age 11.

And 13.

And 15.

And 17.

And 19.

And 21.

And 23.

And even at age 25.

I was crying because it has never been fixed.

And I don’t think it ever will be fixed.

I was sitting there, two pillows hugged to my chest,

when I said, through tears, –

“I really believed You would fix it.”

I was so earnest back then

and I was so earnest last night.

I really thought You would fix it.

I really did.

– — –

The song is Always by the Newsboys,

and yes I know it is an old song.

But it’s what I used to listen to back then,

so it’s what I still listen to today

when I need to cry a little bit.

I’m not a big fan of admitting that I cry,

but I actually like that I cry.

I think it keeps me tender.

Life tends to rough you up

and harden your skin

so I don’t think it’s wrong to want

to stay a little tender.