The other day, Gosling sent me a text

asking if I wanted to play Dr. Mario.

I replied:

“What’s wrong, is your self-esteem too high

and you need it beaten down by a girl?”

because, when it comes to Dr. Mario,

I reign victorious over Gosling.

He sent some text back about how I couldn’t beat him,

so I texted him back to inform him that

not only could I beat him at Dr. Mario

but that I would be happy to do so

whilst dancing circles around him.

– — –

On Sunday evening, I received a text from Gosling

asking me if I was ready to test my dancing skills.

We met at my house and, before playing,

I made him make this video for you

so that there would be no question about what was to happen:

– — –

I then proceeded to play Gosling on Dr. Mario

with him on level five and me on level ten.

Like, I let him be five whole levels under me.

While I danced around him in circles.

And, as you are probably hoping,

I kicked his little Gosling tail.

As promised, he was forced to admit to all of you

that I am better than him at Dr. Mario.

Sorry that I was out of breath when the video started.

I had just danced circles around Gosling

for approximately seven minutes.

The best part of the video is when Gosling

finally admits I beat him.

I’d like to dedicate this victory

to all the girls in the world who have ever wanted to win

when it came to at least one video game.

– — –

P.S. – His hair does look like Santa hair.

A little girl called him Santa the other day, I am not even joking.